And depression spreads its great black wings once again. I don't know what the big deal is. I feel more normal when I'm depressed than I ever do happy.

I got a myspace. And I was not impressed.

www.myspace.com/tyger66

As I stated clearly in my profile, I like livejournal a lot better.

By the way, has anyone else notice that Tom looks like an idiot?

So, I've kind of snapped out of my depression for a couple of days at least. I'm sure I'll be back to my sad, mopey self soon, though. It feels kind of wierd to be happy. Ok, maybe I'm not exactly happy, but I'm not miserable, which is definitely an improvement.

I'm glad I documented this day, because there aren't many like it, and it's nice to ( Read more... )

My mom saw the bandage on my ankle from last night, and she freaked. She told me to stop on my own, or she would find a way to make me stop.

How am I supposed to just stop?

A friend called me today. I haven't spoken to her in about a year. She was always really worried about my cutting. It was only scratching then, I guess. I was still using needles when she stopped calling. She lives in Birmingham, so I don't see her at all anymore. She never gave me her number. When she stopped calling me it was like a switch got ( Read more... )

I went to see 'Lady in the Water' today. I liked it a lot. I don't think I've seen any movies like that before. It was one of those movies that makes me want think profound thoughts and change the world. I'm kind of wierd that way. I think anyone who likes creepy faery tales would like it.

I feel like shit. My mom decided to talk to me about my 'self mutilation,' as she calls it. Our converstation went like this ( Read more... )

I'm turning into a painkiller junkie. I don't even really need them. I just feel like maybe if I take enough, they'll eventually make me feel like I'm not just another stupid fat girl better. Who knows. Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll take enough to kill me they will work. I doubt it. Would be nice to die though.

He kissed my cheek when he came to say goodnight tonight. I ran into the bathroom and scrubbed it for fifteen minutes after, and I still feel dirty.

I told my mom. About the porn on my dad's computer. I helped her up the stairs and showed her the sites he had favorited and the ones in his history. She cried. And she said "At least we know now." I hate this. I can't stand her half the time, but the last thing I want is for her to get hurt. And this hurt her. Bad. Hurt me too. but nowhere near as ( Read more... )

God I am so fucked up. Got another big cut on my ankle, at least it isn't still bleeding. Hurts worse than usual, though. I think my mom is getting a little more suspicious than she normally is. Then again, I've probably been acting pretty suspicous. I just hope she doesn't tell my dad. That is the last thing I need.