01. [Voice]

[tyrannicalcoach]

Here is the deal, little town called Mayfield. Little squirt that lives here told me that I need to talk on a phone to contact anyone. I am the one Sue Sylvester, please, no autographs. I hear that there is a serious lack of cheer leading squads here in this puny little town. So, in order to be ahead of the game and take the title of 'best squad',

Comments

[hontobakabaka]

"I think there's a tailor in town that can make those. What is a cheering squad?"

[tyrannicalcoach]

Ah! Fantastic. I'll have to keep my eyes out, I don't think I could stand wearing mens slacks for more than a day. And a cheering squad is a group of talented youngsters who preform for the glory of themselves. Sometimes sports groups play little games for the cheer squad just so they can preform.

[hontobakabaka]

"So they're musicians? Dancers? There are hundreds of kinds of performances."

[tyrannicalcoach]

It's mostly physical performance. But there can be music and bands and dancing. They build towers out of their own bodies. There are all kinds of things that you can do. I've recently been attempting to fire a person out of a canon, though, that plan back fired.

[action/voice] ...THAT'LL WORK

[tyrannicalcoach]

[She turns to respond, her voice no longer as loud as it was over the phone]

Being blunt is extremely important part of life. If you aren't blunt then how will people know they are wrong?

[tyrannicalcoach]

There are plenty of people looking for somewhere to belong, especially if we've all be dragged out of our homes to this stinking place. I'm sure there are plenty of active people waiting to get out their collective energy.

And of course you're a squirt. I tower over you. Then again I am freakishly tall.

[weaponsparked]

... A flaming... what now?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Flaming homosexual. The gays are good for my squad, can trust them around my girls without getting them knocked up.

[weaponsparked]

... All right, let's pretend, for a moment, that I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about.

Because I don't.

Care to provide an explanation that isn't riddled with slang?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Alright, so you want the idiots explanation. I need young adults that can perform, aka dance, cheer and possibly do flips for a cheer-leading squad. Girls preferred, only gay men please.

[He cannot see this, but she is gesturing as she speaks.]

That better for you?

[alexanderofny]

You're going to find this a really pointless enterprise after only a few weeks. There aren't any other teams around here to compete with. The most our football squad ever does is scrimmage against themselves.

[tyrannicalcoach]

Fantastic! Then we wont have an issues staying number one. That's just how I like it.

[alexanderofny]

...good for you.

[tyrannicalcoach]

Thank you, I always appreciate the encouragement.

[eldest_hatter]

Cheer leading squads? What are those?

[tyrannicalcoach]

Its a group of people who cheers. Its like you are all aliens or something...wait, you're not an alien are you? I'm getting real tired of talking to aliens.

[eldest_hatter]

I wouldn't consider myself an alien, but this place is not my home...so technically I suppose the term would apply.

[tyrannicalcoach]

Well, that's good. I'm telling ya, aliens everywhere around here. People even claiming to be from the future. I haven't heard such nonsense since I was asked to appear on Larry King Live and Larry offered me a night in a local hotel while he tried to slip his hand into my pants. Insanity!