Rooverse - Brothers and Sisters (1/2)
Title: Brothers and Sisters
Author: Tzzzz
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mpreg
Parings: John/Cam, John/Rodney
Beta: dossier and sporangia
Spoilers: Tao of Rodney, McKay and Mrs. Miller, First Strike, Adrift, Lifeline, Outcast
Summary: Back on Atlantis, Rodney gets a visit from an unwelcome guest. Follows Tables Turned, Once There Was a Man Named Holland, Not a Henry, The Kangaroos and the Bees, What Rodney Wants, Conception, The Good of the One, Transferred, and Baby Deedee.
“He seemed okay to you?” Rodney demanded, knowing it was pathetic, but he was completely incapable of doing otherwise. He hated John for making him feel like an idiot just for caring.
“Aye,” Carson replied. “The labor went very smoothly, considering the circumstances. There were no complications from the Pasteur rupture, so far as I could tell, and Colonel Sheppard came through it fine, not to mention less dramatically than I’ve seen. My rotation at the Guild hospital was drama enough to last a lifetime. But, I must admit, John’s father is not the most pleasant man.”
John had rarely mentioned his father, but Rodney had already suspected he was an asshole. But to be enough of an asshole for Carson not to like him must deserve an award, considering that Carson liked Rodney and he wasn’t always the nicest guy.
Rodney didn’t want to sound too desperate for details, but on the other hand, he was desperate. Despite his best efforts, a part of him admitted that he’d fallen in love with John Sheppard. And, even though he had no real reason to, he’d grown to love the baby as well. Screw John for not loving him back. And screw John for making Rodney beg Carson for scraps of information when they were supposed to be having a “continuing thing,” whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.
“But John seemed okay? I mean, not held hostage by that thug who knocked him up?”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Cameron Mitchell seems to be a very sweet man, Rodney. I know you’re jealous, but he is the baby’s donor and he wouldn’t hurt a hair on Colonel Sheppard’s head.”
“That’s only because his hair is the most indestructible part of him,” Rodney grumbled.
That startled a chuckle out of Carson, but he still didn’t relent. “Besides, as I told you before, if you were determined to be paranoid, you could’ve always come with me if you had wanted. You were listed as Colonel Sheppard’s labor proxy.”
Rodney shook his head vigorously. He would’ve gone in a heartbeat if John had asked. But he hadn’t asked. He was probably too busy being swept off his feet by Captain America. “He didn’t need me there. Besides, if I hadn’t been all by myself here, I wouldn’t have been able to catch those idiots Hewston and Watson before they blew themselves up with an exploding tumor machine, of all things.”
“So you worked on your day off?” Carson asked, looking pinched and sounding concerned.
“I saved two idiots from themselves! Besides, you were working too.”
“I went to Earth.”
“To take care of one of your patients, as his doctor. That’s working.”
“Fine. We’re both workaholics. How about next Sunday we take the day and go fishing?”
“I hate you,” Rodney moaned, storming off.
The thing was, now that he thought about it, John wasn’t the type to ask Rodney to come for him. He hadn’t asked for help when he was getting beat up by a 10,000 year old Wraith or when he had the Athosian flu or when his shower had been broken for five weeks and only Ronon mentioning that John only seemed to shower in the gym had tipped Rodney off. Maybe this was one of those times when Rodney was supposed to read John’s mind and just be there for him, the way he always had been for every other Sheppard-related crises. What if he’d just spectacularly screwed up?
He rushed back to his quarters to check his inbox from the databurst. Even though John was even less of the type to write Rodney explaining that he’d been disappointed than he was to ask for help, maybe it would provide some clue.
There was one message from John Sheppard. Rodney had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself before clicking it. It was a video message.
John looked happy, but tired. His hair was a little flat from sweat and sleep, but his grin looked as though it would split his face in two. Rodney had never seen him so happy. It almost broke his heart.
“Hi, Rodney,” John said, adjusting the camera a little, with a flirtatious smile, as though something as stupid as his inability to get his face in the frame was cute. “Just wanted to give you the good news. The baby transferred. You probably figured that out from Carson the second he stepped through the gate, but I wanted to tell you personally.”
He smiled again and Rodney wondered if post-partum hormones could make normally laconic colonels look downright giddy.
“It was amazing. He was really quick and he’s already strong. As strong as a neonate can be, I think. Cam wanted to send you the video, but I didn’t know if you’d want to see that. If you do, we can always send it. Mrs. Mitchell wants to post it on the baby blog she started for us.” John looked utterly disturbed by the idea, which proved that he was at least still moderately sane and not brainwashed by the painfully perky Mitchell clan.
“I can show you what the pouch looks like now. It’s already started to close,” John pulled up his shirt. The slit didn’t look any different, but Rodney supposed it must feel different to John. “It feels weird. I can’t feel him suckling, but I can feel him move around a little bit. It almost tickles, but Dad says that will go away eventually.” John gave another aw-shucks grin. Maybe Rodney spoke too soon. Perhaps the Mitchells were rubbing off on him.
“My cast won’t come off for another two weeks, so I’m still grounded. Not that I’m going to go offworld. But I won’t even be able to take Colonel Carter’s motorcycle out for a spin. She offered.” He winked, blatantly teasing Rodney about his once-upon-a-time crush. “If Cam wasn’t taking time off to play video games and drive me to random Colorado Springs landmarks, I think I might go a little crazy. I can’t even play golf.” John pouted. Rodney didn’t even bother to pretend that wasn’t a cute look on him.
“We’re having the Registration ceremony the week after I get my cast off, so my brother can make it. His dominus domi is in the oil business and they’re going to lobby at some big climate change conference the following week. Cam and I can’t decide on names. If he can suggest Cal after his great uncle, then I can suggest Han after my great, great, great grandfather long ago in a galaxy far, far away.”
That prompted a snort from Rodney. He almost responded to the computer screen, even though he realized that John was thousands of light-years away and just pulling his leg.
“Let me know if you have any reasonable naming suggestions that I can use to counter the Mitchell family history of pathetic Depression Era names.”
“I know the city will keep you busy without me. Just,” John paused, the grin fading from his face to be replaced with the serious look of the Colonel beneath, “make sure that you’re all still alive and standing when I get back.”
John leaned forward to turn off the screen but the stopped, his smug little boy smirk appearing again out of the blue. “I almost forgot. Cam says he saw a J. McKay on the passenger manifest for the Apollo’s maiden voyage out there. It looks like you’re right: your sister won’t keep her hands off your toys.”
Rodney cursed, “Damnit!” He loved his sister, but no matter how much John wanted to trivialize Rodney’s childhood trauma, it was true - his sister always wanted to encroach on his territory. It started with tantrums about not being able to pee standing up like her brother and culminated in following him into the fields of astrophysics and engineering, even though Rodney had politely left her all of chemistry, biology, and even computer science (though he excelled at that, too) to play in. She would’ve made an excellent doctor (she didn’t have Rodney’s sympathy vomiting problem and also didn’t think she had every disease she ever studied), but no, she had to get the exact same two PHDs as Rodney and do it while she was carrying Madison and Bradley, just to show Rodney up. Rodney suspected that her committee had gone easy on her because she’d been ready to pop when she defended. That was the only rational explanation for how she’d done it in a semester less than Rodney.
Rodney had finally managed to get away from her and into classified work, which she was forced to eschew because her hippy-dippy stay-at-home husband didn’t approve of it. That was definitely the only reason Rodney didn’t send Mr. Vegan a Dean and Deluca ham every Christmas. But then one of her students had taken a Youtube video of Jeannie madly solving equations for a matter bridge on what looked like every whiteboard in the school as part of some CalTech recruitment stunt and then suddenly Samantha Carter was having her gated out to Pegasus to work with Rodney to invade the last thing that Rodney considered his own. She’d even flirted with John, despite the fact that he was an imperial and she was married. The only saving grace was that Rodney had been able to get her shipped home when the whole energy bridge thing went horribly wrong, just as he had predicted.
Things just never seemed to go right for Rodney.
He pulled up his email. Call him old fashioned, but he preferred composing an email to sending John a video response. His genius couldn’t be contained in video and he could occasionally ramble. Better to put his best foot forward.
John:
I’m happy the transfer went well. I was never worried about the kid being strong. With a donor who’s all muscle and no brains, it shouldn’t have been a concern. He’s just lucky that he has a glimmer of a chance of inheriting some intelligence from you.
You should stay away from those Mitchells and their baby blogs. I have never heard something more idiotic. Do you want your kid’s friends to be able to google video of him crawling up his father’s naked body when he’s at prime teasing age? You’ll probably be one of those hot dads who all his friends have a crush on, which will make the whole you naked thing that much more embarrassing.
So what if you’re bored. The pouting isn’t cute. It’s better than being surrounded by idiots who keep trying to blow themselves up on a daily basis. I am not exaggerating. Two of my scientists literally were minutes away from death by exploding tumor! Also, in two weeks you’ll have your cast off and will be able to engage in whatever highly-reckless sport you desire, and I’ll be stuck here with my glory hound of a sister trying to discredit me at every turn. Also, she might finally succeed in blowing us all up when all others have failed. She’s ambitious that way.
Can you at least find out what she’s up to? The Apollo will get here a day after the next databurst, so there’s no reason why you can’t send me detailed information. It’s very important. She’s dangerous. Obviously, she’s nowhere near as smart as I am, but she’s not so stupid that I can catch her mistakes at a glance.
Rodney considered adding something like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you’ or ‘do you want me to come to the Registration Ceremony’ but instead he wrote:
For names I suggest: Kirk, Wayland, Wrigley, Rhubarb, Ignatius, Spot, and Rodney.
Rodney couldn’t bring himself to suggest names John might actually consider. He didn’t want anything to do with John and the baby deedee’s cute expecting couple naming contest. In fact, he’d rather not think about it.
I promise the city will still be standing when you get back, so long as the lab monkeys don’t give me a coronary from shock when I discover their next new low when it comes to intelligence.
Rodney McKay, Phd., Phd.
Rodney put the email into the compression queue for the databurst and sighed. If Jeannie wasn’t hurtling his way like an extinction-level meteor, he might have decided to just show up to the baby’s Registration Ceremony. He’d been dragged along to many Registrations with his father when he was a child, so he doubted this one would provide anything new and interesting. In fact, he could see a prominent family like the Sheppards managing to make something archaic and boring even more stuffy and pretentious. Still, it would be John’s ceremony and that might make all the difference. John wouldn’t have mentioned it if he really didn’t want Rodney to come. In fact, it might even be a subtle John Sheppard way of asking Rodney to come. But now that the Little Terror was coming to Atlantis, Rodney would have to stay and defend his territory.
***
Rodney paced the mezzanine above the Gateroom nervously, ignoring the distracted way Buck, the gate technician, kept staring at him. Finally, Elizabeth came out of her office and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “Rodney, you’re making me seasick.”
“Sure,” Rodney grumbled. “You’re the one who called in the wicked, alternate-universe-destroying witch.”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth managed scandalized with a Victorian grace that Rodney could appreciate, if not understand. “She’s your sister!”
“I know. That’s how I know that she’s a dangerous, conniving, glory-mongering, arrogant egomaniac who will get people killed if let outside of a classroom.”
“Doesn’t sound like anyone I know,” Zelenka murmured under his breath. Rodney chose to ignore him. He was only in the control room because he had a crush on Jeannie, which was silly, considering that she was married and her tastes ran to the pretty, poetic and useless types. Rodney’s argument that she was his sister, which made Zelenka’s crush too close to a crush on a female Rodney, didn’t change Zelenka’s mind at all. In fact, it only caused Radek to reply that he might have a crush on Rodney too if he were as attractive and nice as Jeannie.
Rodney glared at Zelenka on his way down the stairs with Elizabeth. Teyla and Ronon were both conspicuously absent. Ronon was setting up an obstacle course on the mainland for Lorne to do some of the ‘team building’ exercises that John hated (mostly because he hated publicly losing to Ronon) and always scheduled for when he was off-base. And Teyla was still in the infirmary after that awful Michael debacle, but at least Ronon had killed the bastard.
“I don’t appreciate you going behind my back on this, Elizabeth,” Rodney said, well aware that Jeannie was already on the long flight to Atlantis, and no amount of complaining would change it.
“For the last time, Rodney, I didn’t go behind your back. I forwarded a question from one of the programming specialists to Area 51 as your department requested. I couldn’t predict that Colonel Carter would call on your sister.”
“You keep telling yourself that when she succeeds in--”
Rodney was cut off by the soft shimmer of the Asgard beam delivering Jeannie and a man whose uniform identified him as Colonel Ellis.
Jeannie looked just as polished and put together as usual. She wore a tight blue pencil skirt and a pinstriped blouse reminiscent of 1940s nautical fashion. She even indulged in the impracticality of pumps, which no woman on Atlantis ever dared wear. Add to that the curly hair pulled back into a neat bun and the glasses Rodney knew for a fact that Jeannie didn’t technically need and the perfectly made-up face; Jeannie looked liked she’d stepped out of any world-class research institution and not just beamed down from a starship to a military base.
“Welcome back, Dr. McKay,” Elizabeth announced, always the diplomat.
“Thank you, Dr. Weir. But please call me Jeannie.”
Jeannie gave Rodney a hug next. It was tight and cloying with a whiff of perfume and the hint of a challenge. Jeannie always held on until Rodney was forced to awkwardly struggle out of the embrace. She did it because she knew it made him uncomfortable.
“Meredith, I missed you! You barely wrote to me since I came here last!” she complained, giving him a playful punch in the arm.
“Come to destroy another universe?” Rodney countered. He was above physical abuse. For now.
“Hey, it was that or let them reverse the particle stream and kill us first. I still don’t see why we couldn’t try it again, and just send a radio transmission through to make sure the next universe is uninhabited.”
“We already filled all our depleted ZPMs,” Rodney reminded her. “And we got a few more from the Ancients just recently. And also, because it’s completely unethical.”
“Like you’re one to talk! I know exactly what you did to your thesis advisor in order to--”
“At least I didn’t get arrested for industrial espionage!”
“It was an independent idea! CSIS cleared me!”
“Yeah, and Dad cleared you of wetting the bed, but that doesn’t mean that--”
“That’s enough children!” Colonel Ellis roared. “As delightful as it is to hear all of your childhood exploits, we are here on urgent business.”
Elizabeth insisted they discuss all urgent business in the conference room, where Zelenka and Lorne joined them.
Rodney kept glaring at Jeannie, despite her repeated attempts to kick him under the table and make him stop. Colonel Ellis ignored them with practiced military indifference. He continued on with a simple presentation about the growing threat on the replicator homeworld and the armada of ships they were building in order to attempt to take Earth.
“You didn’t think to tell us this sooner?” Elizabeth protested. “It is our lives on the line.”
“I’m briefing you now,” Ellis responded. “The IOA has debated various solutions, but we were lucky to have Dr. McKay, our Doctor McKay,” he indicated Jeannie, “on our side. She’s been working on the PWARW over at Area 51 and it is now ready to deploy.”
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth interjected. “The PWARW?”
“Planetary Wide Anti-Replicator Weapon,” Jeannie filled it, smiling at Elizabeth the way an elementary school teacher smiled at one of her less bright students. Rodney rolled his eyes. “We’ve managed to develop a large-scale delivery system for the replicator nanite disruption technology. Basically, we generate a field that sends out a pulse of energy that breaks the bonds between nanites, very similar to what you used on the shield in order to take the city back from the Replicators before.”
“You’re talking about wiping out an entire civilization,” Elizabeth protested.
“We’re talking about a calculated first strike,” Ellis countered. “Those ships are headed for Earth if we don’t do something about them. They know about Earth and they have no compunctions about wiping out our civilization. You have to remember that they aren’t people. They’re a weapon.”
“I disagree,” Elizabeth replied. “I think we owe it to ourselves as civilized beings to at least try to negotiate before we eliminate beings capable of thinking, feeling, and changing. They are sentient by any standard I can think of and they deserve to be treated as such.”
“The IOA has orders.”
“And the IOA can punish me as they see fit, but I am charged with protecting this city and our interest in Pegasus. And I have been given the full discretion to do so.”
Rodney could clearly see the moment Colonel Ellis decided to back down. He might have battled the Ori and commanded an intergalactic starship, but Elizabeth had risen through the ranks of Guild society. She knew her politics and she knew power.
“Jeannie,” Elizabeth commanded. “Please forward all of your information on the anti-replicator weapon to my people.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Jeannie replied, just as unable to counter Elizabeth’s will as Ellis.
“Rodney,” her voice cracked like a whip. “My office.”
Rodney followed her out, trying to look as though he was meeting with her of his own volition rather than simply being dragged around.
The second they were alone, Elizabeth sighed. “Will it work?” she asked.
Rodney pulled up the figures Jeannie had sent, though he knew what he would find there. Jeannie wasn’t as smart as Rodney, but she was smarter than most everyone else on Earth, and harmonics and wave energy was her specialty, so of course the device would work.
“The only problem I can see is the fact that it’s a shipboard delivery system, so Ellis needs to be competent to get it fired at the replicator homeworld, but other than that? It’ll disable every replicator on the planet and anything in orbit.”
Elizabeth nodded. “That’s an excellent position to negotiate from, then.”
She walked out and ordered Chuck to dial the Replicators before Rodney could protest.
“Oberoth,” Elizabeth smiled a shark’s smile at the familiar figure that appeared on the screen. Rodney wondered why if he could create his own body he wouldn’t pick someone more handsome. But then again, who knew what an AI considered beautiful. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“We all exist in the collective mind,” he replied placidly. “This physical manifestation can be reproduced as many times as necessary. What do you want, Dr. Weir?”
“We couldn’t help but notice an armada of ships in your construction yards.”
“We have the right to defend ourselves.”
“Those are not defensive warships, Oberoth. We both know it.”
“I admit that they have offensive capabilities. But sometimes the best defense is a calculated strike on an emerging threat.”
“You mean Earth.”
“I mean anyone who threatens our existence. Your people, the Wraith, and there are other, ancient enemies.”
“Well, if you stop construction on your warships and we implement a truce between our peoples, then there will be no threat from Earth. I can guarantee you that.”
“Even if that were the case, you are not the sole reason we seek to enhance our military capabilities.”
“If there is a greater threat in Pegasus, then ally with us to fight it.”
“We know what it means for our kind to ally with organics,” Oberoth replied, betraying the most emotion Rodney had seen on a replicator. “It means to be sword and shield protecting your fragile, worthless bodies.”
That even riled Elizabeth. Rodney observed the slightest flinch in her otherwise poised posture. “Then, I must point out to you that in every conflict between our peoples, my side has emerged victorious.”
“Ah, but it is only a matter of time, Dr. Weir. You are few and we are many. And we can afford to keep--”
Rodney ignored him, absorbed by the suspicious fluctuations in the comm bandwidth. “They’re trying to upload a virus on the comm frequency. I’m holding off for now, but--”
“Shut it down,” Elizabeth snapped.
Rodney hadn’t even noticed that Ellis and Jeannie had followed them into the control room until Ellis cleared his throat pointedly. “We’ve tried your way, Dr. Weir. Now, we’ll try mine.” He activated his radio. “Beam us up.”
Ellis and Jeannie disappeared in a flash.
“That went well,” Rodney commented, realizing too late that there was nobody around who would appreciate his sarcasm.
***
Part 2
Author: Tzzzz
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mpreg
Parings: John/Cam, John/Rodney
Beta: dossier and sporangia
Spoilers: Tao of Rodney, McKay and Mrs. Miller, First Strike, Adrift, Lifeline, Outcast
Summary: Back on Atlantis, Rodney gets a visit from an unwelcome guest. Follows Tables Turned, Once There Was a Man Named Holland, Not a Henry, The Kangaroos and the Bees, What Rodney Wants, Conception, The Good of the One, Transferred, and Baby Deedee.
“He seemed okay to you?” Rodney demanded, knowing it was pathetic, but he was completely incapable of doing otherwise. He hated John for making him feel like an idiot just for caring.
“Aye,” Carson replied. “The labor went very smoothly, considering the circumstances. There were no complications from the Pasteur rupture, so far as I could tell, and Colonel Sheppard came through it fine, not to mention less dramatically than I’ve seen. My rotation at the Guild hospital was drama enough to last a lifetime. But, I must admit, John’s father is not the most pleasant man.”
John had rarely mentioned his father, but Rodney had already suspected he was an asshole. But to be enough of an asshole for Carson not to like him must deserve an award, considering that Carson liked Rodney and he wasn’t always the nicest guy.
Rodney didn’t want to sound too desperate for details, but on the other hand, he was desperate. Despite his best efforts, a part of him admitted that he’d fallen in love with John Sheppard. And, even though he had no real reason to, he’d grown to love the baby as well. Screw John for not loving him back. And screw John for making Rodney beg Carson for scraps of information when they were supposed to be having a “continuing thing,” whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.
“But John seemed okay? I mean, not held hostage by that thug who knocked him up?”
Carson rolled his eyes. “Cameron Mitchell seems to be a very sweet man, Rodney. I know you’re jealous, but he is the baby’s donor and he wouldn’t hurt a hair on Colonel Sheppard’s head.”
“That’s only because his hair is the most indestructible part of him,” Rodney grumbled.
That startled a chuckle out of Carson, but he still didn’t relent. “Besides, as I told you before, if you were determined to be paranoid, you could’ve always come with me if you had wanted. You were listed as Colonel Sheppard’s labor proxy.”
Rodney shook his head vigorously. He would’ve gone in a heartbeat if John had asked. But he hadn’t asked. He was probably too busy being swept off his feet by Captain America. “He didn’t need me there. Besides, if I hadn’t been all by myself here, I wouldn’t have been able to catch those idiots Hewston and Watson before they blew themselves up with an exploding tumor machine, of all things.”
“So you worked on your day off?” Carson asked, looking pinched and sounding concerned.
“I saved two idiots from themselves! Besides, you were working too.”
“I went to Earth.”
“To take care of one of your patients, as his doctor. That’s working.”
“Fine. We’re both workaholics. How about next Sunday we take the day and go fishing?”
“I hate you,” Rodney moaned, storming off.
The thing was, now that he thought about it, John wasn’t the type to ask Rodney to come for him. He hadn’t asked for help when he was getting beat up by a 10,000 year old Wraith or when he had the Athosian flu or when his shower had been broken for five weeks and only Ronon mentioning that John only seemed to shower in the gym had tipped Rodney off. Maybe this was one of those times when Rodney was supposed to read John’s mind and just be there for him, the way he always had been for every other Sheppard-related crises. What if he’d just spectacularly screwed up?
He rushed back to his quarters to check his inbox from the databurst. Even though John was even less of the type to write Rodney explaining that he’d been disappointed than he was to ask for help, maybe it would provide some clue.
There was one message from John Sheppard. Rodney had to take a few deep breaths to calm himself before clicking it. It was a video message.
John looked happy, but tired. His hair was a little flat from sweat and sleep, but his grin looked as though it would split his face in two. Rodney had never seen him so happy. It almost broke his heart.
“Hi, Rodney,” John said, adjusting the camera a little, with a flirtatious smile, as though something as stupid as his inability to get his face in the frame was cute. “Just wanted to give you the good news. The baby transferred. You probably figured that out from Carson the second he stepped through the gate, but I wanted to tell you personally.”
He smiled again and Rodney wondered if post-partum hormones could make normally laconic colonels look downright giddy.
“It was amazing. He was really quick and he’s already strong. As strong as a neonate can be, I think. Cam wanted to send you the video, but I didn’t know if you’d want to see that. If you do, we can always send it. Mrs. Mitchell wants to post it on the baby blog she started for us.” John looked utterly disturbed by the idea, which proved that he was at least still moderately sane and not brainwashed by the painfully perky Mitchell clan.
“I can show you what the pouch looks like now. It’s already started to close,” John pulled up his shirt. The slit didn’t look any different, but Rodney supposed it must feel different to John. “It feels weird. I can’t feel him suckling, but I can feel him move around a little bit. It almost tickles, but Dad says that will go away eventually.” John gave another aw-shucks grin. Maybe Rodney spoke too soon. Perhaps the Mitchells were rubbing off on him.
“My cast won’t come off for another two weeks, so I’m still grounded. Not that I’m going to go offworld. But I won’t even be able to take Colonel Carter’s motorcycle out for a spin. She offered.” He winked, blatantly teasing Rodney about his once-upon-a-time crush. “If Cam wasn’t taking time off to play video games and drive me to random Colorado Springs landmarks, I think I might go a little crazy. I can’t even play golf.” John pouted. Rodney didn’t even bother to pretend that wasn’t a cute look on him.
“We’re having the Registration ceremony the week after I get my cast off, so my brother can make it. His dominus domi is in the oil business and they’re going to lobby at some big climate change conference the following week. Cam and I can’t decide on names. If he can suggest Cal after his great uncle, then I can suggest Han after my great, great, great grandfather long ago in a galaxy far, far away.”
That prompted a snort from Rodney. He almost responded to the computer screen, even though he realized that John was thousands of light-years away and just pulling his leg.
“Let me know if you have any reasonable naming suggestions that I can use to counter the Mitchell family history of pathetic Depression Era names.”
“I know the city will keep you busy without me. Just,” John paused, the grin fading from his face to be replaced with the serious look of the Colonel beneath, “make sure that you’re all still alive and standing when I get back.”
John leaned forward to turn off the screen but the stopped, his smug little boy smirk appearing again out of the blue. “I almost forgot. Cam says he saw a J. McKay on the passenger manifest for the Apollo’s maiden voyage out there. It looks like you’re right: your sister won’t keep her hands off your toys.”
Rodney cursed, “Damnit!” He loved his sister, but no matter how much John wanted to trivialize Rodney’s childhood trauma, it was true - his sister always wanted to encroach on his territory. It started with tantrums about not being able to pee standing up like her brother and culminated in following him into the fields of astrophysics and engineering, even though Rodney had politely left her all of chemistry, biology, and even computer science (though he excelled at that, too) to play in. She would’ve made an excellent doctor (she didn’t have Rodney’s sympathy vomiting problem and also didn’t think she had every disease she ever studied), but no, she had to get the exact same two PHDs as Rodney and do it while she was carrying Madison and Bradley, just to show Rodney up. Rodney suspected that her committee had gone easy on her because she’d been ready to pop when she defended. That was the only rational explanation for how she’d done it in a semester less than Rodney.
Rodney had finally managed to get away from her and into classified work, which she was forced to eschew because her hippy-dippy stay-at-home husband didn’t approve of it. That was definitely the only reason Rodney didn’t send Mr. Vegan a Dean and Deluca ham every Christmas. But then one of her students had taken a Youtube video of Jeannie madly solving equations for a matter bridge on what looked like every whiteboard in the school as part of some CalTech recruitment stunt and then suddenly Samantha Carter was having her gated out to Pegasus to work with Rodney to invade the last thing that Rodney considered his own. She’d even flirted with John, despite the fact that he was an imperial and she was married. The only saving grace was that Rodney had been able to get her shipped home when the whole energy bridge thing went horribly wrong, just as he had predicted.
Things just never seemed to go right for Rodney.
He pulled up his email. Call him old fashioned, but he preferred composing an email to sending John a video response. His genius couldn’t be contained in video and he could occasionally ramble. Better to put his best foot forward.
John:
I’m happy the transfer went well. I was never worried about the kid being strong. With a donor who’s all muscle and no brains, it shouldn’t have been a concern. He’s just lucky that he has a glimmer of a chance of inheriting some intelligence from you.
You should stay away from those Mitchells and their baby blogs. I have never heard something more idiotic. Do you want your kid’s friends to be able to google video of him crawling up his father’s naked body when he’s at prime teasing age? You’ll probably be one of those hot dads who all his friends have a crush on, which will make the whole you naked thing that much more embarrassing.
So what if you’re bored. The pouting isn’t cute. It’s better than being surrounded by idiots who keep trying to blow themselves up on a daily basis. I am not exaggerating. Two of my scientists literally were minutes away from death by exploding tumor! Also, in two weeks you’ll have your cast off and will be able to engage in whatever highly-reckless sport you desire, and I’ll be stuck here with my glory hound of a sister trying to discredit me at every turn. Also, she might finally succeed in blowing us all up when all others have failed. She’s ambitious that way.
Can you at least find out what she’s up to? The Apollo will get here a day after the next databurst, so there’s no reason why you can’t send me detailed information. It’s very important. She’s dangerous. Obviously, she’s nowhere near as smart as I am, but she’s not so stupid that I can catch her mistakes at a glance.
Rodney considered adding something like ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you’ or ‘do you want me to come to the Registration Ceremony’ but instead he wrote:
For names I suggest: Kirk, Wayland, Wrigley, Rhubarb, Ignatius, Spot, and Rodney.
Rodney couldn’t bring himself to suggest names John might actually consider. He didn’t want anything to do with John and the baby deedee’s cute expecting couple naming contest. In fact, he’d rather not think about it.
I promise the city will still be standing when you get back, so long as the lab monkeys don’t give me a coronary from shock when I discover their next new low when it comes to intelligence.
Rodney McKay, Phd., Phd.
Rodney put the email into the compression queue for the databurst and sighed. If Jeannie wasn’t hurtling his way like an extinction-level meteor, he might have decided to just show up to the baby’s Registration Ceremony. He’d been dragged along to many Registrations with his father when he was a child, so he doubted this one would provide anything new and interesting. In fact, he could see a prominent family like the Sheppards managing to make something archaic and boring even more stuffy and pretentious. Still, it would be John’s ceremony and that might make all the difference. John wouldn’t have mentioned it if he really didn’t want Rodney to come. In fact, it might even be a subtle John Sheppard way of asking Rodney to come. But now that the Little Terror was coming to Atlantis, Rodney would have to stay and defend his territory.
***
Rodney paced the mezzanine above the Gateroom nervously, ignoring the distracted way Buck, the gate technician, kept staring at him. Finally, Elizabeth came out of her office and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “Rodney, you’re making me seasick.”
“Sure,” Rodney grumbled. “You’re the one who called in the wicked, alternate-universe-destroying witch.”
“Rodney!” Elizabeth managed scandalized with a Victorian grace that Rodney could appreciate, if not understand. “She’s your sister!”
“I know. That’s how I know that she’s a dangerous, conniving, glory-mongering, arrogant egomaniac who will get people killed if let outside of a classroom.”
“Doesn’t sound like anyone I know,” Zelenka murmured under his breath. Rodney chose to ignore him. He was only in the control room because he had a crush on Jeannie, which was silly, considering that she was married and her tastes ran to the pretty, poetic and useless types. Rodney’s argument that she was his sister, which made Zelenka’s crush too close to a crush on a female Rodney, didn’t change Zelenka’s mind at all. In fact, it only caused Radek to reply that he might have a crush on Rodney too if he were as attractive and nice as Jeannie.
Rodney glared at Zelenka on his way down the stairs with Elizabeth. Teyla and Ronon were both conspicuously absent. Ronon was setting up an obstacle course on the mainland for Lorne to do some of the ‘team building’ exercises that John hated (mostly because he hated publicly losing to Ronon) and always scheduled for when he was off-base. And Teyla was still in the infirmary after that awful Michael debacle, but at least Ronon had killed the bastard.
“I don’t appreciate you going behind my back on this, Elizabeth,” Rodney said, well aware that Jeannie was already on the long flight to Atlantis, and no amount of complaining would change it.
“For the last time, Rodney, I didn’t go behind your back. I forwarded a question from one of the programming specialists to Area 51 as your department requested. I couldn’t predict that Colonel Carter would call on your sister.”
“You keep telling yourself that when she succeeds in--”
Rodney was cut off by the soft shimmer of the Asgard beam delivering Jeannie and a man whose uniform identified him as Colonel Ellis.
Jeannie looked just as polished and put together as usual. She wore a tight blue pencil skirt and a pinstriped blouse reminiscent of 1940s nautical fashion. She even indulged in the impracticality of pumps, which no woman on Atlantis ever dared wear. Add to that the curly hair pulled back into a neat bun and the glasses Rodney knew for a fact that Jeannie didn’t technically need and the perfectly made-up face; Jeannie looked liked she’d stepped out of any world-class research institution and not just beamed down from a starship to a military base.
“Welcome back, Dr. McKay,” Elizabeth announced, always the diplomat.
“Thank you, Dr. Weir. But please call me Jeannie.”
Jeannie gave Rodney a hug next. It was tight and cloying with a whiff of perfume and the hint of a challenge. Jeannie always held on until Rodney was forced to awkwardly struggle out of the embrace. She did it because she knew it made him uncomfortable.
“Meredith, I missed you! You barely wrote to me since I came here last!” she complained, giving him a playful punch in the arm.
“Come to destroy another universe?” Rodney countered. He was above physical abuse. For now.
“Hey, it was that or let them reverse the particle stream and kill us first. I still don’t see why we couldn’t try it again, and just send a radio transmission through to make sure the next universe is uninhabited.”
“We already filled all our depleted ZPMs,” Rodney reminded her. “And we got a few more from the Ancients just recently. And also, because it’s completely unethical.”
“Like you’re one to talk! I know exactly what you did to your thesis advisor in order to--”
“At least I didn’t get arrested for industrial espionage!”
“It was an independent idea! CSIS cleared me!”
“Yeah, and Dad cleared you of wetting the bed, but that doesn’t mean that--”
“That’s enough children!” Colonel Ellis roared. “As delightful as it is to hear all of your childhood exploits, we are here on urgent business.”
Elizabeth insisted they discuss all urgent business in the conference room, where Zelenka and Lorne joined them.
Rodney kept glaring at Jeannie, despite her repeated attempts to kick him under the table and make him stop. Colonel Ellis ignored them with practiced military indifference. He continued on with a simple presentation about the growing threat on the replicator homeworld and the armada of ships they were building in order to attempt to take Earth.
“You didn’t think to tell us this sooner?” Elizabeth protested. “It is our lives on the line.”
“I’m briefing you now,” Ellis responded. “The IOA has debated various solutions, but we were lucky to have Dr. McKay, our Doctor McKay,” he indicated Jeannie, “on our side. She’s been working on the PWARW over at Area 51 and it is now ready to deploy.”
“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth interjected. “The PWARW?”
“Planetary Wide Anti-Replicator Weapon,” Jeannie filled it, smiling at Elizabeth the way an elementary school teacher smiled at one of her less bright students. Rodney rolled his eyes. “We’ve managed to develop a large-scale delivery system for the replicator nanite disruption technology. Basically, we generate a field that sends out a pulse of energy that breaks the bonds between nanites, very similar to what you used on the shield in order to take the city back from the Replicators before.”
“You’re talking about wiping out an entire civilization,” Elizabeth protested.
“We’re talking about a calculated first strike,” Ellis countered. “Those ships are headed for Earth if we don’t do something about them. They know about Earth and they have no compunctions about wiping out our civilization. You have to remember that they aren’t people. They’re a weapon.”
“I disagree,” Elizabeth replied. “I think we owe it to ourselves as civilized beings to at least try to negotiate before we eliminate beings capable of thinking, feeling, and changing. They are sentient by any standard I can think of and they deserve to be treated as such.”
“The IOA has orders.”
“And the IOA can punish me as they see fit, but I am charged with protecting this city and our interest in Pegasus. And I have been given the full discretion to do so.”
Rodney could clearly see the moment Colonel Ellis decided to back down. He might have battled the Ori and commanded an intergalactic starship, but Elizabeth had risen through the ranks of Guild society. She knew her politics and she knew power.
“Jeannie,” Elizabeth commanded. “Please forward all of your information on the anti-replicator weapon to my people.”
“Yes, Ma’am,” Jeannie replied, just as unable to counter Elizabeth’s will as Ellis.
“Rodney,” her voice cracked like a whip. “My office.”
Rodney followed her out, trying to look as though he was meeting with her of his own volition rather than simply being dragged around.
The second they were alone, Elizabeth sighed. “Will it work?” she asked.
Rodney pulled up the figures Jeannie had sent, though he knew what he would find there. Jeannie wasn’t as smart as Rodney, but she was smarter than most everyone else on Earth, and harmonics and wave energy was her specialty, so of course the device would work.
“The only problem I can see is the fact that it’s a shipboard delivery system, so Ellis needs to be competent to get it fired at the replicator homeworld, but other than that? It’ll disable every replicator on the planet and anything in orbit.”
Elizabeth nodded. “That’s an excellent position to negotiate from, then.”
She walked out and ordered Chuck to dial the Replicators before Rodney could protest.
“Oberoth,” Elizabeth smiled a shark’s smile at the familiar figure that appeared on the screen. Rodney wondered why if he could create his own body he wouldn’t pick someone more handsome. But then again, who knew what an AI considered beautiful. “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“We all exist in the collective mind,” he replied placidly. “This physical manifestation can be reproduced as many times as necessary. What do you want, Dr. Weir?”
“We couldn’t help but notice an armada of ships in your construction yards.”
“We have the right to defend ourselves.”
“Those are not defensive warships, Oberoth. We both know it.”
“I admit that they have offensive capabilities. But sometimes the best defense is a calculated strike on an emerging threat.”
“You mean Earth.”
“I mean anyone who threatens our existence. Your people, the Wraith, and there are other, ancient enemies.”
“Well, if you stop construction on your warships and we implement a truce between our peoples, then there will be no threat from Earth. I can guarantee you that.”
“Even if that were the case, you are not the sole reason we seek to enhance our military capabilities.”
“If there is a greater threat in Pegasus, then ally with us to fight it.”
“We know what it means for our kind to ally with organics,” Oberoth replied, betraying the most emotion Rodney had seen on a replicator. “It means to be sword and shield protecting your fragile, worthless bodies.”
That even riled Elizabeth. Rodney observed the slightest flinch in her otherwise poised posture. “Then, I must point out to you that in every conflict between our peoples, my side has emerged victorious.”
“Ah, but it is only a matter of time, Dr. Weir. You are few and we are many. And we can afford to keep--”
Rodney ignored him, absorbed by the suspicious fluctuations in the comm bandwidth. “They’re trying to upload a virus on the comm frequency. I’m holding off for now, but--”
“Shut it down,” Elizabeth snapped.
Rodney hadn’t even noticed that Ellis and Jeannie had followed them into the control room until Ellis cleared his throat pointedly. “We’ve tried your way, Dr. Weir. Now, we’ll try mine.” He activated his radio. “Beam us up.”
Ellis and Jeannie disappeared in a flash.
“That went well,” Rodney commented, realizing too late that there was nobody around who would appreciate his sarcasm.
***
Part 2