And I'm falling. Falling.

Falling. Falling.

I'm falling.

I'm just a zero.

Okay. Let's be honest with ourselves. You've already started your routine. The routine. Just a little, but you've allowed that much. You've allowed yourself to be touched. And that may or may not be a good thing. The only thing different this time.. is being so lonely. And being okay with it. Everybody hates to be alone, but I know what I gotta do ( Read more... )

I'm never sure what to put down here anymore. Sure, we could recap life, but honestly.. what's the point to all of it? Just a memoir that I could read back on one year later and feel sad. I'm so irritated I even read my old entries. Why did I always feel like I was changing? I wasn't changing. I was just latching onto other people for survival. ( Read more... )

 Who has the upper hand anymore? It's getting hard to tell as days roll on, and April 14th comes even closer.

 I don't like the person I become when I'm around you. I don't like having to be a control freak. I don't like my views on drugs to burst every few minutes. I hate when my jealousy shines through every moment a cute girl on t.v. is catching your attention. Because I know what you're thinking. It's what you always think, and I'm starting to lose ( Read more... )

I don't know what's happening to me. I feel like I've been in a downward spiral for years, and no matter what happens, everything seems to become a mess soon after. I feel like I have a chemical imbalance. I need medication. But then again, it never helped me then ( Read more... )

Life is strange sometimes. I think that's usually obvious. I can't remember why I'm even digging back into this. What happens if nothing turns out in my favor, and I'm fucked up all over again? It would be my fault. An even bigger problem. But can I control this? Am I capable of twisting this person to what I want? It seems so wrong sometimes, but ( Read more... )

I have a feeling that she's going down. Without question.
I hate lying skanks.

 I felt myself open and continue the vulnerability that I've pushed away for so long. What the fuck am I doing? It's not like I want to cry. I'm not even depressed. It's just.. it bothers me. Don't leave, it's pointless.

And did I make a mistake? Do I even feel regret? Because when I hear love, you're not the face that comes to mind anymore. It's more like abuse, hate, unhealthy wtvr. Do I care someone else gets hurt? Or do I justify that with the 'stormed my territory' anyway? Obviously this is a mess, and just a mix of emotions. Maybe I needed something to ( Read more... )