Life is really like this ongoing roller coaster. I'm sure I've said that before, but I hate it. "Life is like that" he said. Well, I hate life. I haven't really even felt like writing anything. Nothing artistic, nothing bland. Just nothing. Maybe I hadn't the need to? Everything seems to be loving and happy. Will things drop soon?

My boyfriend loves me. Sometimes I think he almost has split personality. I don't mean the real mental cases or anything. The ones that take on new abilities and voices. How the range drops dramatically. Anyway, nothing like that. His chronic case of Mr.Indecisive tends to weasel his way in though. It's sad sometimes. I almost feel sorry for him, ( Read more... )

I'm confused today. Or life, in general I guess. He's starting to do that forsaken thing again. Indulging in drugs. And I will sit and watch. I'll be this zombie on Gordon's leather chair while he sits anxiously with his friends, like a child. Just waiting for his chance to be fucked up.
I admit the relationship has gotten so bad that almost ( Read more... )

There's always a reason to be in love. And I've found it.

And god, it's been so long since a happy entry was honestly written. Are things better? Am I being calm? Is he actually loving me?

I can't stand to sleep alone. It hurts to lay down tonight next to an empty space; a place where your form molded to my sheets. Come home to me. <3

I hate that you lied to me.
I hate that you smoked.
I hate that you almost left me for drugs.
I hate that you watched that godforsaken shit.
I hate that you said stupid things at the meeting.
I hate how you hit me.
I hate how you think.
I hate how you are critical of my views.
I just hate you.

Maybe it's because Raf and I are soul mates. In a non-relationship way. Yeah. That must be it.

You could say I'm a little lost. A little bit betrayed. Silly, a fool. I don't want to be oblivious. Do you know how stupid it makes me feel? I'm glad Justin came in and ruined your fucking scandal. God, you're scum.

I once had a dream. And it diminished. I'm afraid of him failing, and it completely crushing his spirit.

I'm content [again] with life. I mean.. this home is another story. I want nothing more than to flee these walls. But alas, I need a year before that can even be an idea. Still, I know I'm getting out. And that's the most important thing to me. Getting out.
I need to get out.