Comments | uglyfatty1: sorry for mia was depressed

uglyfatty1

sorry for mia was depressed

Oct 16, 2005 21:41

ok well long story short I had invited people from grad school class (via email) to my bday outing downtown one said she'd let me know if she could make it then didn't hear from her. then another girl said she'd come. I was high high anxiety that day. I considered calling her and telling her it was canceled because I didn't feel well mostly bc I ( Read more... )

Comments 8

use_less_ October 17 2005, 02:23:47 UTC

i don't think its wrong to want more.
i don't think anyone is ever happy with what they have or even who they have in their lives.
you should be thankful (and i know you are) that you've for such awesome housemates and a boyfriend thats always there for you. Those types of people are hard to find and at times when they are there, they just don't seem like it till you need them.
*hugs*
feel better hun
love ya!!

uglyfatty1 October 18 2005, 22:01:04 UTC

I am so thankful for them, which is why I feel badly for wanting more when I have so much. Not only by having them, but because of my chance for a good education, love from my family, support, intelligence, no real physical health problems. Thats allot of good stuff... why isn't it good enough to make me happy, not just some times but all the time.

use_less_ October 19 2005, 02:12:11 UTC

i've got no idea.
i try to think about everything i've got and try to see what i'm missing from making me happy but i can't figure out whats not there either except for the obvious but theres not a whole lot i can do about that.

rumbushle October 17 2005, 15:13:29 UTC

i don't think it's ever wrong to want more hon :)

sorry your b-day was kinda sucky; life is like that sometimes......so....

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

janezan October 18 2005, 17:00:54 UTC

hi - just wanted to say that i know what you mean! i usually don't even celebrate my birthday for those very reasons. sometimes i try to set small goals and then hopefully feel a little better about myself for reaching them - and i'm talking tiny! then hopefully soon you will start to recognize what your friends and boyfriend see - that you're lovable and worthy. (and thanks for your email!)

janezan October 18 2005, 22:05:23 UTC

The burden thing is just so deep within me. I also feel like its a self fufilling prophecy... I feel so afraid to be a burden so much that my actions and emotions(when expressed verbally) eventually do become a burden to others, thereby reinforcing my own feelings of worthlessness. Its horrible.. I try to keep that in mind sometimes... that the more I believe I am a burden the more its true. that seems to help sometimes, but its just difficult to not see myself as "in the way", or "something that must be painstakenly dealt with"... I wish I wouldn't feel this way... thanks for your repy

sunnybeaches85 October 22 2005, 02:28:48 UTC

hey for some reason i thought you werent updating anymore so i deleted you about a year ago. i was going through my "old friends" today and i saw that youre upadating. i added you back. a lot has happened this past year. i b/p about 3 times a day now, i was diagnosed last year, threatened to be put on medical leave, went to counseling for a bit, etc. etc.

my entries are boring...im sorry:(. i write about how i cant stop b/p almost every single time.

but i really want to start reading your entires again. i added you back:)

uglyfatty1 October 23 2005, 15:26:32 UTC

thanks hun! no prob! glad to have someone reading them!

take care -me