I am on day 8 of not puking with is phenomenal... But last night I binged..it was all healthy stuff but still. I wasn't even hungry AT ALL. I was feeling fat, ugly and miseraable even though I had eaten healthfully all day.
I ate 2 light whole wheat english muffins with PB, a mini-bag of popcorn, dannon fit 'n light yogurt w/some blueberries, ( Read more... )

I am 1/2 way through day 5 without puking...that is the longest I have gone in over a year!!! :) Today I am miserable about my size...I miss feeling and seeing my ribs. I miss feeling skinny. SIGH. I keep trying to remind myself that I want to be healthy and strong, fit and trim... I am trying to focus on the energy I have, the joy of movement and ( Read more... )

I'm really sad today... I'm sad because I feel like a completely incompetent loser. I can type and answer phones, but converting things from Excel to tables in word and formatting is not my forte. I spent the majority of last week trying to figure it all out using Word 2007 here at work...I realized today, after spending HOURS last week, that I ( Read more... )

PersonalityYou are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more religious than atheist, more loner than dependent, more workaholic than lazy, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more introverted than extroverted.

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I'm making it today though that is easier said than done... I wanted to binge so badly on chocolate covered peanuts but I reminded myself that I NEVER felt proud when I did that...it ends in self loathing, more stuffing myself and then severe anxiety, sadness and stress b/c of all of the food left to digest due to my refusal to get most of it up... ( Read more... )

I haven't been updating regularly...but I most definitely need to! Mostly it's due to being really busy. Working, moving, my class... It's been crazy. I guess I've been doing okay. I'm still puking about once a day. My body is ever expanding--probably gained about 15 pounds since January...which I 'needed' to do but hearing how 'healthy' I look is ( Read more... )

I've asked it more times than I can count...and I am confident I will ask it many more times than I'll ever be able to count... But WHY is recovery SO HARD?! I want so badly to just eat and nourish my body without freaking out but it seems nearly impossible. There are very RARE days where I am hungry and ready to eat, nourish my body and am MOSTLY ( Read more... )

I'm doing really well...but it hasn't been easy. Eating lunch was AGONIZING!!! The only thing that got me through was knowing that I was eating healthy food. I'm fighting the urge to binge/purge....I won't b/c then I'll have that bad food in my tummy...and I do not want to do that. It's better to wait until dinner and eat food that will nourish my ( Read more... )

I did it!! I ate meals and snacks and I kept them down!!! It's been hard...but I made it!!! I was thinking of going to the store to get bubble gum to stuff in my face b/c I wanted to binge...but instead I got my healthy bedtime snack and am eating it now. YAAY!!! It's not much...but it's a start...and I don't feel guilty or sad about one thing I've ( Read more... )

has anyone heard from threeamcoffee? She hasn't posted in forever...I miss her...