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I'm glad you're having a laugh
I swear, I'm not being petty. Ok, i am, but not totally. You know what i mean.
I'm glad you're down there, playing your game. Having fun. I'm glad you're having a good time. 25 minutes ago you were sitting up here with me as I lay crying, try to tell you how I felt. Having a lot of anxiety and guilt.. I feel weird. I've been telling you about all ( Read more... ) -
Oh my heart
I cry. I cry for the baby I lost last year. I cry for the development of fertility issues since my miscarriage. I cry for the stress and uncertainty I feel about new pains and unending worries something is wrong. I cry for the baby I should feel hopeful for, but know I will never have. I cry for a loss on so many levels that has deeply affected my ( Read more... ) -
I'm just... sad
Drinking sucks. It makes you think of the things you are already thinking of, but magnified. Magnified to a point that you can't control how massive it is. Your brain is like "hey, let's take that speck of something that's bothering you and magnify it to such a HUGE magnitude, that it basically consumes any ration you had left"... whatever was left ( Read more... ) -
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Every day I just feel like I'm drowning. My anxiety eats me. Depression laps at my heels. I just don't know how to feel. I still can't process that Tye is gone. Every day. Multiple times a day I think of him. I think "he can't be gone." But he is. He's gone. My heart aches. My eyes well with tears. My soul feels cracked. I search the internet in ( Read more... ) -
Heartbroken
It's been almost exactly 12 hours since I heard the news. I can't believe how much life can change in 12 hours. I'm devestated. Heartbroken. Guilty. Sad. Pissed off. I'm so many things, I can't even process it. I hate how I left things with him. I'm racked with the guilt and loss I feel over not talking to him for the last year. I'm at a loss that ( Read more... ) -
Yikes
So I'm kind of at a loss and this will probably be a quick entry, because my mind is already spinning, it's almost 11 pm, and I have 2 interviews tomorrow, plus work. That's right ( Read more... ) -
I think I can I think I can I think I can
Some days I feel like I'm the little blue train. I'm pretty sure I have the motivation and the skill to get up the big mountains and around the obstacles. The other days I'm like.. meh.. fuck it.. Imma sit on the couch and drink my diet coke ( Read more... ) -
MOTHER$*@^#* Brain Drain
So... seriously fucking confused. I could tell he had a few drinks, because he is never this open. But what the fuck. And seriously... this was where our conversation ended. I shit you not, my texts were the last. Passed out or went to bed, who knows.. Then I made the mistake of getting SHIT faced the next day and this has been weighing heavily on ( Read more... ) -
Rest in Peace my baby kitty
My eyes are burning. I can't cry anymore. My poor baby kitty Jose is gone. It was so quick. When I got home last night, something was definitely wrong. Somehow I talked myself into thinking he was a bit better, but tired, when I went to bed. When I woke up, he had a heartbeat, but wasn't moving. I got him to a vet within a half hour and he was gone ( Read more... ) -
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I'm pretty much out of things to say by now. It's too bad... I've had some great thoughts tonight!