I never think of anything other than what a disgusting animal that I am. Horrifyingly putrid and essentially disgusting. I cannot wait to be alone. That is all I want. Is that so much to ask? I feel terribly angry with myself for not being true to people. I am not being truthful and I feel deceptive and foolish. It is hot and I feel horrible. I ( Read more... )

The other night I went to a party with my male and female counterparts. We swayed to music at a place we had partied at before. We made friends and then we went to a bar called lil' joy. Hip. Ultra-hip. Those fuckers didn't know what hit them. A boy in a salmon tank top who is obsessed with us was following us around and trying to get us to talk to ( Read more... )

The other day my friend was saying the word Jebidiah out loud and I thought he said dry abortion. I went to go pick up one of my books at this pathetic loser's house. He was so critical of me from the moment he met me. He thinks that I am vapid and shallow. If that is what he thinks then he is obviously incapable of truly seeing someone for who ( Read more... )

Tonight my friend wants to go with me to a gay club. I can't go though, I have no money to spend there. My other friend is having a party and wants me to go to that. Luckily both my friends are friends of each other, so maybe I could coordinate a party plan for tonight. I don't even want to go out anymore. Am I being snobby and childish by saying ( Read more... )

After I get home from work I feel that my muscles in my face are tired from smiling all day long. Only when smiling is not geniune do they hurt. My muscles that is. After bid farewell to a customer at my store I muttered "burn in hell" under my breath. It was almost inaudible and I was not really even turned towards her, but I think she heard it. ( Read more... )

also, last night I had a dream that a really short and deformed young girl was chasing me around with a live wire and zapping me with it. She was squealing and laughing with delight and I was angry and not very scared at all.

So I was thinking alot today about how I enjoy life so much. I was sweating and walking with my father. It took alot to get him out of the house. I forced him on a walk with my dog and me. When my mother got home from work she had brought food with her. She immediately started screaming at me for not making a dentist appointment(one of my teeth ( Read more... )

So my friend who is going to have a book discussion with me after we read books gave me fight club to read last night. I am almost done, and how do I tell him it is one of the stupidest, unorigional books that I have ever read? Granted there are parts that are redeaming. When Taylor was sitting in the palm of perfection for 60 seconds, or the fact ( Read more... )

Last night in my dream I was in a room with the last boy I dated and a new boy that I was trying to go out with to forget about the other one. I saw my old boyfriend with a new girl that was very tiny and short. I started to cry hysterically. They had a twin bed on one side of the room and me and the new boy I was seeing had a twin bed on the other ( Read more... )

Today I worked and then went back to work to purchase some produce. I am going to try and quit eating sugar again. Hey, I did it once before. I am sure I can do it again. Tomorrow shall be very hectic. I have to head straight for the bus stop after work and then when I get to boston I will be going directly to get ready for da club ( Read more... )