I am wondering why I do not have alot of friends. Maybe I am too particular about people. I always find fault in them. Maybe it is my aquarian nature shining through, but I am not absolutely sure. Maybe because I am EXTREMELY critical of myself that I am critical of others as well. too young. too old. not kind enough. not smart enough. no sense of ( Read more... )

I had a dream last night that Blake was playing a show and I was running behind him and yelling that he should remember me, and that I was the one he took the virginity of. He did not even look back at me and he went to this room where all thses young girls were dressed in indie outfits and look really hot. I think I was wearing sweat pants and I ( Read more... )

Last night I had a dream that I went into a sex shop and it wasn't every stocked with vibrators and I was looking at all the different kinds and I was dissapointed. I asked for assistance and the lady brought me what I wanted. I told her that all the vibrators seem to be very cold and dislodged from the world. She brought me over to this huge ( Read more... )

There is a man that I work with that is so sweet and funny and I feel like he is so lonely. Every time I see him walking down the street after work is over I cry, and I don't stop until I have reached my house. The time it takes me to drive from work to my house is spent crying about him. I just hope that he can feel it ( Read more... )

There is nothing more important in life than giving and receiving love. I love expressing myself creatively to the world, but is that expression tangible? Can I touch it? I am beginning to think that no amount of paintings or sculptures could truly express my true self. The only way to do this is by loving people. Creating within them a bloom of ( Read more... )

I went to the diesel party and drank alot, but not too much. I was sitting outside in high heels, hot pink fishnets, and a really short skirt and I looked around at everyone. I looked very hard and realized that none of these people are mirroring myself in any way, but maybe they are thinking the same thing about me. I do not want to get drunk and ( Read more... )

Tonight I am going to Boston again. Should be fun. When I am on the bus I like to peek down at the floor real quick. Just peek down real quick. I have decided to begin to sew the bikini's I am making for people. This shall be divine ( Read more... )

I have decided recently to devote myself completely to the betterment of humanity. I want to live somewhere in India and love and hug and feed people. I want to give everything I have to all of everyone. I feel as though that is the reason I was put on this earth. To protect and nurture others. To show others how to love. My needs and wants are so ( Read more... )

I cried with my sister on the phone last night. She is completely in love with a boy. She has never even kissed him. We cried about how much love we have to give to others. She told me her art work is what saves her from total colapse. It is her outlet for all the love she has. Mine too. I have decided that when I go to this diesel party I am going ( Read more... )

I have been keeping my window unlocked in hopes that someone will break into my apartment and rape me.