009. la tension

[un_beau_coquin]

[ action ; 1445 Mitchell Road ]

[Thanks to a certain Scout's recent birthday party and an oh so lovable not!wife's deviousness, the Spy household is currently devoid of alcohol. There happened to be a bottle of red wine hidden in the back of the pantry and Spy is currently drinking from the bottle as he cooks.

Yes, that's right: he's stress cooking.

Comments

Can't... resist....... [phone]

[bye_to_yer_head]

You can cook?

Never bother trying to fight back, hehe

[un_beau_coquin]

Oh, oui. Better zhan you, definitely.

Resistance is futile?

[bye_to_yer_head]

That's hardly an impressive distinction.

You tryin' t' poison the whole town?

Pretty much, yeah. Better just give up while you're ahead.

[un_beau_coquin]

Just wanted to 'ear zhat from yourself.

Non, I zhink I've suffered zhe brunt of zhe cheese overdose. Zhe town 'as nozzing to fear.

Was I ever ahead?

[bye_to_yer_head]

Glad t' be a self-esteem booster fer ya. I'm sorta surprised you do things that aren't related to sneaking up on people and watching them.

Hmm. Not sure about that one.

[un_beau_coquin]

I am, as well. 'Aven't 'ad many opportunities to do so once I arrived 'ere. I'm not working for anyone anymore, so what's zhe point?

Sniper can't ever win. It's his curse.

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Well that doesn't sound like Spy. AT ALL.*

So you're gonna make nice with the town by cooking them nothing but cheese?

Does that mean he's never credit to team?

[un_beau_coquin]

I did not say zhat. Zhis was to burn off some steam wizzout killing anyone, since, zhanks to Pyro, zhe alco'ol in my 'ouse is gone. It just 'appens zhat I made too much.

He only wins when it applies to headshots. he can't win social situations.

[bye_to_yer_head]

You live with Pyro? Ouch.

You know there's a bar roight?

*Why is he helping Spy? He looks at the phone suspiciously as if it's somehow forcing him to not hang up on his hated rival here.*

Well, it's not like winning those is any sort of picnic.

[un_beau_coquin]

Oui. It is not so bad, mon ami. She is on my team, for instance, so she 'as no desire to burn me to deazh.

Oh, what fun, getting drunk in front of ozzer people. I'm aware of zhe bar, oui.

There should be awards for social achievements: YOU MANAGED TO NOT HIT ANYONE! /parade

[bye_to_yer_head]

Enjoy gettin' drunk at home and drownin' in cheese then.

Consolation prize but upgraded?

[un_beau_coquin]

I zhought I said zhat zhere is no alco'ol over 'ere, mon ami.

[Ah ah ah, don't hang up on him just yet!]

Exactly. also gamerpoints and trophies.

[bye_to_yer_head]

You sure? Because you sound loike you already got started in on some.

Way to defeat the purpose of the game, man.

[un_beau_coquin]

[There's a pause before he chuckles.]

Fine, fine. Zhere was a single bottle of wine and it's already screwing wizh my accent.

It's my special power. Also... heheheheheeeee

[bye_to_yer_head]

Well I'm not sharin' any of mine with you. Go ask yer Sniper for his stash.

*Because having a secret stash of beer in odd locations in the house is totally normal and in no way means something is wrong.*

Delirious laughter. SPY DOES NOT APPRECIATE IT SOB

[un_beau_coquin]

[Longer pause this time.]

I zhink zhat if I asked 'im, I'd get zhe same response as if I'd asked you.