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if I got sick
If I got seriously sick, my first thought would be to send everyone away. I'd rather be alone than have to deal with everyone else's sadness, my mother's homeopathic counseling, S.'s childish attempts to make me happy with sweets and flowers. Having to be strong and smiling and cheerful all the time, just so they don't crumble around me. No, I'd ( Read more... ) -
a bowie kind of day
A friend organised an all-Bowie DJ session at a nearby bar, so S. and I went, had beer, danced, I got my face painted. I never thought I'd be regularly invited to these kind of events, much less I'd actually have fun at them. I still catch myself thinking, wow, look at me, here I am, at a party, with people, having a good time. Someone brought a ( Read more... ) -
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Just spent the afternoon throwing some new fancy veggie soup in a bottle S. had bought for me. I'm sure something was wrong with the soup, but anxiety may also have been a factor. Every week from now until Easter seems to be bursting full of work, and my calendar is full of colourful little stickers telling me what to do when and whan not to forget ( Read more... ) -
get to summer
It's time for winter to end. I know it won't for at least a month or two. But I've had enough. Maybe noticing that the days are getting noticeably longer has made me impatient ( Read more... ) -
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I have an appointment with an analyst next week. I'm looking forward to it. I'm so used to thinking about myself, it will be nice to do it with the assistance of a professional ( Read more... ) -
vacation crayon rouge style
Spending my few days of vacation in mild anxiety for the usual mildly stupid reasons ( Read more... ) -
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Had a few intense days with an exhibit in Düsseldorf. It was a bit like a theater production: lots of sitting around doing nothing, then shouting and and screaming, scrambling to get last minute props ("I need scissors RIGHT NOW!"), being convinced that everything will have to be cancelled because we can't show *this* to the public, and then ( Read more... ) -
decision fatitgue
It's a thing, you know. There are studies about it ( Read more... ) -
chill
It's been a long time since I did a tarot reading for myself, so I figured New Year's Eve was a good time. The results were - surprising.
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end of year meme
As always with the real good memes, courtesy of minnesattva1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before ( Read more... )