battery, he hit his adoptive father. i really hope he does't go, i rly don;t. i've known him for 4 years, loved him for the first two, and been good friends and loved him for the the last two. i'm so afraid that if he does go, he'll come out the same person, only worse. [he's acting like it's no big deal]
Well the no big deal thing is just bravado, but he probably won't admit to you that he's scared. Assuming the adoptive father deserved to be hit, is he doing anything to get out of his house? *hug* it's a crappy situation but there's really nothing you can do except be there for him. Depending on how long he goes in for, it may or may not change him. I wish I could give you better advice buy I only have experience of the British prison system.
yeah. yr absolutely right. ricky will NEVER admit to being scared or sad. the only way i every found out that he could be was one time when i walked in on his in a closet in school crying. It just i feel like all of its my fault because i've watched him fuck up his life for a good year now, and this is what its coming to. i mean, he's been a major part of my life for 4 full years. the thought of him not being there is a scary one
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its no problem. he hit his adoptive dad because he was being rly mean, who is now pressing charges against him. he might get expelled from school. and i'm soo worried about losing him.
I totally understand, hon, my brother is in jail. It seems to be doing good for him, he is actually taking better care of himself, and they have him working in a library.
Anyway, hopefully the truth about what the adult did will come out and everything will work out ok.
the thing that's scaring me about this is this "it's nothing attitude" you know? i mean, the boy literally has a 7 inch long, 1 cm deep cut in his arm from where some kid tried to knife him. when he left for his hearing, he was talking and joking around. i get that he doesn't want to act like a "baby" and get upset, but i actually think that he doesn't care. if he does go to jail, I'm scared out of my mind that either he's going to turn out worse, or that if something happens to him, or if he dies, the school won't find out, and tell his friends for like two weeks because "he wasn't a student" [it's happened twice, and both kids were my friends.]
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I've never known anyone who's gone to jail, so I don't know how much 'advice' I can give. Just be there for your friend, show them that there is someone who cares for them. I hope everything turns out ok.
(I know I haven't really talked to you, so I feel a bit guilty for even commenting and messing with your business. Sorry.)
How are you doing right now? I know you're worried about your friend, but make sure that you don't end up neglecting yourself. I'm hoping everything will pan out for you and your friend.
hun, trust me, it;s okay. half the people that responded i've never rly talked to. the other half have become good friends of mine because they replied to some of my posts, were amazingly supportive, and now talk to me a lot. mess away. =]]] i honestly think i'm past worried. this is going to sound stupid, i honestly can't stop thinking about him. on saturday night, the first night he had to spend in jail, i was lying awake thinking 'hmmn, i wonder what ricky's doing? he's probably in some sort of trouble right now." i have this really strong maternal instinct towards him, so i'm always taking care if him, and getting him out of trouble, and defending him and ect., but i really can't help get him out of this and my brain seems to be equating that to it;s my fault. i know it's not, but it seems easier to believe then it being his fault. i'm just scared out of my head that i'm going to lose him, figuratively or literally. and after putting 4 years of my life into this boy, i'm not read to do that.
You know, I understand a lot better. Maternal instinct, right? I know how that feels. It's okay for you to be scared, of course, but instead of blaming yourself, maybe you could put your energy into something productive. Does he have a lawyer yet? (It sounds like he's a minor, so he must) You might want to get in touch with them, even if they can't tell you anything about the case. That way, they can get in touch with you if they need to have character studies or if they need to hear about any problems in the home. Also, there may be a social worker involved. They would also have information and may want to talk to you. Sorry for sounding so clinical. I behaved poorly in your situation, so I feel like I can't really help that much. I hope you're taking care. Have you gotten a chance to talk to him?
well, we have exams this week, so i did see him. he said that basically he got let off easy because it was his first MAJOR offence [i have to wonder what he was looking at]. so if he does anything, even cursing, at his parents, they can call the cops and he WILL go to jail. so that's better... i guess. i just wish he would talk to me more about stuff, because i really hate to find out stuff about him from other people.
i just worry about him so damn much, and if i even start to tell him anything he blows it off, and calls me a hypocrite [which is rightfully so, because i've done worse things than him.]
i just wish i could sit him down and talk to him, and have him take me srsly, because he has no clue how much i love about him. =//
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*hug* it's a crappy situation but there's really nothing you can do except be there for him. Depending on how long he goes in for, it may or may not change him. I wish I could give you better advice buy I only have experience of the British prison system.
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It just i feel like all of its my fault because i've watched him fuck up his life for a good year now, and this is what its coming to. i mean, he's been a major part of my life for 4 full years. the thought of him not being there is a scary one ( ... )
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he hit his adoptive dad because he was being rly mean, who is now pressing charges against him. he might get expelled from school. and i'm soo worried about losing him.
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Anyway, hopefully the truth about what the adult did will come out and everything will work out ok.
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i mean, the boy literally has a 7 inch long, 1 cm deep cut in his arm from where some kid tried to knife him.
when he left for his hearing, he was talking and joking around. i get that he doesn't want to act like a "baby" and get upset, but i actually think that he doesn't care.
if he does go to jail, I'm scared out of my mind that either he's going to turn out worse, or that if something happens to him, or if he dies, the school won't find out, and tell his friends for like two weeks because "he wasn't a student" [it's happened twice, and both kids were my friends.]
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How are you doing right now? I know you're worried about your friend, but make sure that you don't end up neglecting yourself. I'm hoping everything will pan out for you and your friend.
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i honestly think i'm past worried. this is going to sound stupid, i honestly can't stop thinking about him. on saturday night, the first night he had to spend in jail, i was lying awake thinking 'hmmn, i wonder what ricky's doing? he's probably in some sort of trouble right now."
i have this really strong maternal instinct towards him, so i'm always taking care if him, and getting him out of trouble, and defending him and ect., but i really can't help get him out of this and my brain seems to be equating that to it;s my fault. i know it's not, but it seems easier to believe then it being his fault.
i'm just scared out of my head that i'm going to lose him, figuratively or literally. and after putting 4 years of my life into this boy, i'm not read to do that.
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It's okay for you to be scared, of course, but instead of blaming yourself, maybe you could put your energy into something productive. Does he have a lawyer yet? (It sounds like he's a minor, so he must) You might want to get in touch with them, even if they can't tell you anything about the case. That way, they can get in touch with you if they need to have character studies or if they need to hear about any problems in the home.
Also, there may be a social worker involved. They would also have information and may want to talk to you.
Sorry for sounding so clinical. I behaved poorly in your situation, so I feel like I can't really help that much. I hope you're taking care. Have you gotten a chance to talk to him?
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i just worry about him so damn much, and if i even start to tell him anything he blows it off, and calls me a hypocrite [which is rightfully so, because i've done worse things than him.]
i just wish i could sit him down and talk to him, and have him take me srsly, because he has no clue how much i love about him. =//
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