Now and Forever...Itsumademo... - Chapter 23

[unare_haineko]

Title: Now and Forever…いつまでも…

Author: Unare Haineko

Pairing: [Juntoshi] Matsumoto Jun x Ohno Satoshi

Rating: R-ish, but NC-17 for this chapter

Summary: [Revised] Three years after the ending of ‘Kodoku kara Umareta Ai’, we have Juntoshi trying to raise their son Ayumu while the demons from the dark shadows that separated Arashi in KodoAi come back to

Comments

[mmestrange]

My sweet, I hope you're safe and okay. I'll start on the postmortem and analyses after I've had dinner - oh, the themes you're rehashing over the knowledge vs true opinion, reality vs dreaming and whatnot - pure delight. I miss your writing and the process of your mental cogitation. Analyses to come later tonight or tomorrow. <3

[athena_jun]

oh, I am very exciting because of your update , you know, I am glad to know my favorite fiction will not be dropped . Love you so much ^_^ About you chapter, I feel something will happen, may be not good thing, but I sure it will make Juntoshi close more and more ;)) I love the scene of Ayumu and his papa;)) always kawwai and sweet , >+< I can't stop waiting for your next chapter , gumbene, I hope your work will be alright and you will update your fic as soon ás you can. Thanks again ne

[unare_haineko]

Thanks. I don't know if anyone else is still following the story, but I write for me because I enjoy it. I feel slightly bad for putting out chapters and then getting too busy to update. But I am slowly working on it.

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Themes, part 1

[mmestrange]

There are two basic themes in this chapter, that of illusion vs reality and opinion vs true knowledge.

Reality vs illusion - A recapIllusion/appearance vs. reality constantly conflict with one another through images and the setting of the story. It is as if you are waging a visual and mental war between that which the characters think he/she sees and what actually happens behind the scenes in the story. It is easy to succumb to the illusion of a loving family or to dream of becoming rich and going to Pastry School, having a beautiful home and happy domestic life. But the images of everyday life we see in the Juntoshi flat, the Sakuraiba household and in the Ninomiya-Daisuke flat are offset by the hardships of their reality - none of them can escape from the past which has not been resolved. The appearance/illusion is that Arashi has disbanded and all the ties to all the members are cut. The reality is that people walked away without resolving the wherefores and the hows of the issue resulting in the disbandment. The setting of the

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Themes, part 2

[mmestrange]

This theme is significant in Itsumademo because we have truths that are cunningly hidden between two lies. It’s like a truth sandwich. Lies are the bread and Truth is the thin sliver of ham in the middle. How does one tell the difference between the truth and the lies in Itsumademo when everyone is lying and keeping truths from one another and themselves? Most of the players in your story want others to be taken in by the picture of the sandwich; in short, they want others to have a certain opinion of the lies masquerading as truth. But every now and then, the turkey ham peeks out and tells the people looking at it that it’s more than a sandwich. It’s a jambon beurreLet me illustrate this more clearly - imagine truth (the ham) as a balloon. The person with knowledge ties the balloon to a chair, and in this manner secures it for future enjoyment. Why? Because everyone walking past the chair can see how pretty the balloon is. The person without knowledge sets the balloon down, only to recoil in horror as the balloon floats out of reach

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Themes, part 3

[mmestrange]

Notice that Sho, Aiba, Iago, Jun, Ohno and Daisuke started out Itsumademo with some kind of illusion they have of themselves, each other or their situations and have received hints that the illusions/opinions they had of each other, themselves and/or their situations are not what they seem. Yet these individuals still cling to the illusion. To cling to the illusion/opinion, something in them has started to change. And this in turn has affected them so much that they see the illusion as reality, and take their unsubstantiated opinion to be the absolute truth. Nino has woken up to the unpalatable truth and is playing against it by creating a suitable diversion for his opponents to believe. Jun is starting to revolt against the illusion even though he doesn’t quite know it yet. But the rest are desperate to entrench themselves in the illusion - so Sho loses his humanity, Aiba turns to drugs and alcohol and self-mutilation, Ohno turns to sex, Daisuke turns to whatever affection and affirmation he can get, Iago tries to control everyone to

Re: Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Themes, part 3

[unare_haineko]

Bravo, well said. The illusion theme that has been carried from the beginning of Itsumademo is finally coming to light. Yay!

There are just so many characters and the subplots extensive that it has taken me a while to get to this point. I feel like I've been foreshadowing (still in progress) and setting up the pieces of the chess game for an eternity. The story in general has taken on such a dark tone. It must be so odd to envision such a dark and sinister degeneration of Arashi when they're known as such a happy harmonious group. My mother told me the other day that she finds it more and more disturbing that I delight in those crime shows about solving murders and catching serial killers. If she only knew of this story! I can't wait until I get to play sudden death chess with Iago. *cackle*

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Juntoshi Dynamics, part 1

[mmestrange]

The notion of rejecting knowledge and truth so as to cling to opinion and illusion is illustrated in the Juntoshi and Sakuraiba relationships.

On OhnoNASA!Ohno is what happens when illusion has taken over the whole brain so much so that he believes it as his truth. Compare how Ohno is here and how he was in Kodoai - he had sense then and used truth (how much Jun loved and cared him) to override his illusion (his relationship with Nino that was going nowhere) and made a conscious decision to pursue happiness in a loving and supportive relationship. But now, in Itsumademo, he has given up believing in this truth and is ironically using Jun’s affection for him to satisfy his own carnal lusts. His pre-occupation now is sex, sex and more sex. He blindly believes in his illusion that so long as his selfish wants are met, all will be well. Accordingly, he has let himself go. This is so much so that he does not even bother to clean himself up, as evinced by the mess in his art studio, the failure to put away his flaccid penis and his

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Juntoshi Dynamics, part 2

[mmestrange]

On JunSlowly but surely, Jun is becoming aware of the cracks in his illusions of the Juntoshi relationship. At the start of Itsumademo, Jun believes Ohno to be a reasonable man and a loving man. This is the illusion Ohno has created through whining that he can’t do without Jun and always needs Jun around. But we know it is an illusion because Ohno only craves Jun’s company for sex and that’s why he crafts the illusion of being a loving partner. The illusion is slowly being eroded for Jun, which is why he realises something in his opinion of Ohno being a good man is not quite right. And this is why he feels sick at the thought of Ohno giving him fellatio. He has an idea that although Ohno appears attentive to him, it’s not so much that he’s kind and gentle but because he just has lust and more lust on his mind. This inkling leads him to feel revolted when Ohno bounces on him following his return from hospital and sucks him off before wanking. While he is relieved that Ohno isn’t asking for sex, he still feels disconcerted. Why? Because

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Juntoshi Dynamics, part 3

[mmestrange]

Interestingly, Ayu’s innocent question has sparked off something in Jun. I believe this could lead not only to more reminiscing, but could translate into Jun being more receptive to being in contact with the other Arashi members once again. His question on Nino is telling because it seems like he’s gauging as to whether Nino still holds antipathetic thoughts and feelings towards him. He may keep the memories of Arashi back in the locked box, but with Ohno so different now, Jun will make the invariable comparison and when that happens, the floodgates will open.

(04) What will give Jun the final push to speak to Nino? Will it be through Ayu? Or will it be through Miyazono?

(05) Speaking of Miyazono, why exactly was Miyazono at the television studio? And who did he follow there? Will he make the connection between what Jun told him about Kakia, Iago and the club (in an earlier chapter) with Kakia (whom he meets in this chapter) and the doubles that Ayu told him about?

Re: Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Juntoshi Dynamics, part 3

[unare_haineko]

It is only a matter of time before Jun no longer allows the parasitic NaSA!Ohno to have any part of him. Detached from the host, the miserable parasite will have to seek out another or risk extinction. Haha

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 1

[mmestrange]

The Sho and Aiba dynamics is rapidly sinking into depravity and mayhem. On one hand, this relationship serves as a foil to the Juntoshi one. While there are some similarities in that both relationships appear to be strained to breaking one, the key difference - Jun is starting to see through cracks and Ohno is too addled by his NASA! problem to see anything beyond his wanking penis. Sho and Aiba are both deceiving themselves and why they are remaining in their relationship. From this chapter, it is clear that their relationship is like a ticking time bomb which could destroy both of them. Unlike Ohno who is only staying with Jun for selfish NASA! reasons, Sho remains his relationship with Aiba because he thinks he can have it all (appeasing his mother, having Iris and having Aiba and his career) and Aiba remains in the relationship because he wants Sho’s attention at any cost. Unlike the Juntoshi relationship which is being destroyed by NASA!Ohno, the Sakuraiba relationship is being destroyed by the both of them destroying themselves

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 2

[mmestrange]

His behaviour towards Aiba is also telling - it’s one of long suffering resignation and embarrassment and annoyance. These feelings are easy to read from the get-go because Sho immediately loses his façade of urbanity and flails in a kind of panic and freezes when he sees that it’s Aiba who has called. Iris has to goad him into answering the mobile when all Sho wants to do is pretend that the caller is unimportant and the call is unimportant. This may be interpreted as fear that he could be associated with Aiba, this fear is in turn based on how he is embarrassed of Aiba and ashamed of his relationship with Aiba. The emotions of embarrassment, shame and fear are hallmarks of Sho being embarrassed, ashamed and fearful of what his life has become now outside of Arashi. The damn thing is that he doesn’t realise this

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 3

[mmestrange]

However, like a person who believes in his own opinion even though they are delusions, Sho firmly believes he is in the right and Aiba is in the wrong. This is why he continues to verbally attack Aiba for being unappreciative of his care, going so far as to insinuate that Aiba ought to be grateful for whatever scraps of affection and attention he throws to him

Commentary and Analyses, Chapter 23 – Sakuraiba Dynamics, part 4

[mmestrange]

All of which points to several questions.
(06) Why is Iris so insistent on offering to go with Sho? What is she hoping to uncover to use against Sho? Why is she doing this? What does she stand to gain?

(07) Will Sho’s dissatisfaction with himself away from the disbanded Arashi result in him destroying himself? It seems likely given how it seems like Sho believes he has nothing left outside the band and is stuck in a rut.

(08) Since he has taken out his anger and resentment of Arashi’s disbandment on Aiba, it may be safe to conclude that Sho blames his current funk career wise etc on the disbandment of Arashi. It gives rise to the question as to whether Sho ever saw the band members as individuals rather than as a support group through which he received affirmation and a means of bolstering his self confidence?

(09) Will Sho eventually realise his resentment is more against himself for being powerless with the other Arashi members to back him up rather than any real resentment against the band per se? Under what circumstances will