Lay down in the deep grass and weeds.

[unburiable]

I hate when bottles grow too rapidly from being beautifully cold to sickeningly warm as a result of slow drinking, but I’m just not always into drinking so fast. Often, if I have enough cash on me, I’ll just set the half-empty warm bottle on the bar in front of me, scoot down a few seats and then hail down a different bartender to order another.

Comments

I never thought any of this was possible...but it is.

[miss_ladybug]

Holy shit. I just finally saw that videotape of last year’s Oscar Awards when you got into a fistfight with Joaquin Phoenix in the parking lot after he made some shitty loud comment about his part of Max California in 8MM being a better supporting role than when Tom Savini played the part of Christina’s boyfriend Arthur in George A. Romero’s epic 1978 coming-of-age drama Martin. And I agree with what you said to him after he threw that left hook into your stomach, about how Joel Schumacher was only trying to reclaim the much thrown-up-on Hollywood-horror-suspense throne after directing 1987’s The Lost Boys. You could tell Joaquin was fucking shocked too, which made it all that much easier for you to doorstop the back of his foot and then push him down the embankment, a phenomenally frightening flight that sent him soaring from the parking lot all the way down to the fountain. I’ll never forget the look on Joaquin’s face, bleeding at the forehead, when all he could do was raise his arms and yell “fuck you Jaret!” and you just smiled at

Remembering the old days, cold drink in hand.

[unburiable]

That was a pretty crazy night, actually. That son of a bitch Phoenix boy is always giving me shit about something or other. I've seen Frank Whaley punch his fucking mouth out, too. I guess since Joaquin has been fated to try living up to River's reputation he's always got something smart to say. Like I fucking care, though. Who does he think he is, huh? John Sheen?

Pass me your telephone code. I made an attempt to call you yesterday about the washer/dryer situation, but realized I had no clue where your contact information was.

when life hands you lemons cut them open and spray the juice in life's eye.

[whiskeyandashes]

jaret/jarret/jarit/jay ret/jairit/jahrite/you.

im free tomarrow (tues) and weds. i close on thursday, and work on saturday after that. just let me know when it is you wanted to get together....i dont drive, so ill have to find a way to get there. just let me know whats up.

a to the jizzo.
(a.j. for the honkies)

How very fucking boring.

[someatheiryoung]

People, could we please pull our collective lips off of the asshole of Neil for long enough to take a breath of the fresh, non-dysphoric, air that does exist around his writing. Yes, yes, he's very talented, blah blah, no fucking shit. Neil, I for one refuse to stroke your ego. I challenge all of you critics/groupies to add a little more to the conversation than "your so talented." Honey, don't you mean YOU'RE? I mean, he doesn't really own "so talented," now does he?
Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I might actually read old Neil's little story here, though I don't even fucking need to to say "you're such a great writer."

I can really shake my ass,
Colene Raye Cannarella

A letter that I just received, and that I'm very fucking pissed about.

[unburiable]

---begin transcript---

From: John Sheen
To: Clipper Banks Subject: since i'm banned from her journal and i can't stand to just delete this

Re: A letter that I just received, and that I'm very fucking pissed about.

[someatheiryoung]

You know what, Mr. Sheen? You're a real dick.

Starting to make me just a bit sicker than I was when you first came here.

[unburiable]

Tell it to Mr. Sheen, asshole. I'm not going to be nailed on your crushed velvet cross of indecency for simply relaying a message to you that somebody else paid me $34 to handle. Okay?

For you, Lover

[someatheiryoung]

Brave use of the present tense throughout all live action. It's works well and allows a foreshadowing of the desperation of character that ends the piece. The juxtaposition of tone and setting also presents an accurate image of the main character, though I think he's a little too stuffy to be believable. I think you can lose the eighth paragraph. I deserve a better discription of the bar of the bar than for you to just tell me that it was a dump. I want to see the toothless barmaid and feel the threadbare green felt of the one wobbly pool table. Oh, and since the cowgirl is obviously me, don't forget to mention her ghetto-fabulous airbrush nails and her enigmatic, bold smile.
Hugs,
Your mom

You want to kiss me. I can feel it in the way you're pointing that gun at me.

[unburiable]

A massive girl the size of a panda bear and a wingspan of six and one half feet, , who herself has the ears of an elephant flopping out like leather leaves from under her rhinestone studded cowboy hat sits down next to me even though there are plenty of other seats empty at the bar at which she could sit without being directly next to anyone else. Her skin smells of pancakes, and the draft leaking through the ceiling from the ventilation ducts makes it all but impossible to turn my head away to avoid the pancakes. It starts to remind me of those times my mother would tie me to the chair at the kitchen table with her nylon panty hose and force-feed blueberry pancakes to me with a batter spoon. If I were to choke, my mother would hit me with the spoon, the make of which was a very strong oak from Canada. So I turn to the girl with the elephant ears and the rhinestone hat and I mouth “go away,” hoping she’s the type to sense discomfort when it’s thick in the air. If I were her I’d sit somewhere else. I’ve been muddy with desperation for

Re: You want to kiss me. I can feel it in the way you're pointing that gun at me.

[someatheiryoung]

Exactly! Now that's what I'm talking about. Your very talented.

Giggles Pond, Nevada.

[unburiable]

Your so cute.

I hate you

[pinksound]

you're mean and I hate you please kill yourself

talking shit on the internet is like running in the special olympics no matter who wins you're still retarded

hello I am a hypocrite

I could not have written an analogy that bad even if I stole it from somewhere else, like you did.

[unburiable]

Have cups of this