She kept flipping birds at everybody there; even the ones who weren’t looking at her, but most especially those who were. Me and her had a lot of things in common. Gourmet Scum was our favorite band, and we both liked The Pogues. But she still sort of said some mean stuff to me when she felt like it. When I got elected as the class treasurer she laughed so hard that milk came out of her nose at lunch. I tried turning the tables around on her and laughing about the milk thing to make her feel embarrassed, but she took a handful of cheese off some kid’s pizza and threw it in my face. It stained the yellow Gourmet Scum sweatshirt I had on. She said I would make an awful scientist. “Why’s that?” I asked her.
“Because you’re terrible with numbers. It’s practically a fucking joke that anyone could take you seriously.”
I told her that was some pretty mean stuff to say, but she didn’t apologize. And I got detention when a teacher caught me throwing the pizza cheese back at her.
remainders can be cute. pesky, but cute.
anonymous
May 4 2003, 14:59:45 UTC
i knew a boy who only missed one question on the math section of his s.a.t.'s, but he didn't know shit about building giant whirligigs, either. what's a girl to do?
Break the cat's head open with the barrel of a rifle.unburiableMay 4 2003, 22:06:14 UTC
I couldn’t believe my luck when I finally reached the Carolinas. She was waiting there on the tracks, wearing a dark vest and a dark shirt, with an eyebrow raised and one corner of her mouth scrunched to the side. I raised my shirt, and she took one of the revolvers tucked into my pants. And then we walked out into the field where the whirligigs were to count the bullets we had left between us, not afraid to feel good about the future.
you can rest your head in the oven, while you fumble for answers to rhetorical questions--fine by me
anonymous
June 8 2003, 02:32:08 UTC
a compiled, abridged list of unpleasantries (in the form of questions which isn't really necessary given the obvious nature of the circumstances) adding up to you, you, you:
1. "just a chick"? almost like the no doubt song? fucking cool.
2. betty page, of all useless ugly things?
3. are you half the whiny of a son of a bitch as this "vaughnb" is? (i suppose i don't really mean to step on any reasonably aquainted toes, exactly...pardon me, while muster up a fuck to give. god...this smacks of effort. okay. sorry, i'll have to turn you away empty handed. maybe tomorrow. keep your chin up.)
Re: you can rest your head in the oven, while you fumble for answers to rhetorical questions--fine bjust_a_chick_03June 8 2003, 08:49:15 UTC
1) Nothing to do with No Doubt, just a generic name. 2) I like the old Bettie Page pics, I also like Dita Von Teese 3) Lately I have been whiny, yes.
Why insult me and tell me to stick my head in an oven, then tell me you don't mean to step on any toes? Why ask anything if you don't give a fuck? Empty handed??? You are just some anonymous fuck, easy for you to get all snotty.
I think I saw that Dita girl at a party in Madison last week.unburiableJune 8 2003, 21:09:48 UTC
My rolodex showed up one name slow today. I had my secretary Belinda write me up an outline specifying the Who and the Why of basically everyone there. It didn’t really solve a goddamned thing, I suppose, technically, but she’s paid well to do what I tell her to. And with the perks she gets around here (just last week she got felt up by Kevin Bacon), I don’t rightly feel she need speak up even if she felt my proposals of financial expenditures were a bit too modest. Which they aren’t. Ever.
On the way back to Los Angeles I telephoned from the jet Bacon’s agent’s office and I told him-Jeff Skarlito-that if Kevin ever steps foot in my office again he better be wearing body armor.
“I don’t care if he was in Footloose,” I told him through my teeth. I don’t care if he was in fucking five Footlooses. My secretary is my secretary, not a frigging hand towel for the cast of FlatlinersAnonymity is for people who clip out pictures of Joshua Jackson and hang them up inside their closets. Especially rat bastards who speak up when they’re not
( ... )
horse hairs and bridle strapsdurwoodsaulsJune 13 2003, 13:07:56 UTC
well whet my canker sores, i ain't seen a more colorful usage of useless words in my entirity. pretentious little pricks. hey missy take it from me. if ol bagabones insults ya it's on account a he probably wants to ly you down and softly whisper pretty things in your ear. jesus mary an' joseph. you people can't take a fucking joke. even an illiterate hick like myself located in a dried up town full of dried up ol' hags can enjoy the fiction spewing forth from this self appointed maniac. and post a decent icon for fucks sake. betty page is dead. lets see some boobies. or at least some meaningless pop star
( ... )
Proverbs and Psalms, Durwood, is what's gonna drown them in.unburiableJune 15 2003, 20:56:22 UTC
3 March, 1973.
When I sent word to the chaplain that I wouldn’t be able to show up for mass, it was a very sure thing. Like you’d been seein’ out by the cornstalks before the sheds caved in, I been seein’ out by the reds of the wheatfields just before sundown. I ain’t proud of this city no more, Durwood. It’s been the worst of me, and now like the fire from God’s throat it’s gonna be the caving in of my farm.
I just shoulda kicked that Just_A_Chick_03 out into the sheds with the horsefare like I done the sisters before her.
By the time you read this, Durwood, I might well be dead.
Re: horse hairs and bridle strapsvaughnbJune 16 2003, 14:04:03 UTC
Pull up your cover alls goat boy your inbreeding is starting to show. Or is that just the brand your daddy stamped you with after you and he finished your little two man rodeo in the hayloft?
Re: horse hairs and bridle strapsdurwoodsaulsJuly 4 2003, 13:18:48 UTC
don't mistake the love my lord and saviour, our father jesus christ almighty hath given to his faithful servant for that bull and cock fight crap you and yours get down to in the still of dusk over in the abandon Heckle Farm. Don't think those folks don't understand just what you sissy lil' mama's boys are doing in there. just the very thought of seein another man's goods and services ain't right with the lord, it just ain't right you here me?! my uncle can't be spoken for and Dolly (that's bubba's new queer queen name) knows what you and the rest of you penis touchin sonabitches be up to. you should be ashamed to act that way especially on a saturday night the evening before the sabbath.
god be damned for you queer folk, cause i won't be. durwood, and don't take a shining to my nominiture just cause it got your favorite play thing in the title. fag!
Comments 80
Reply
“Because you’re terrible with numbers. It’s practically a fucking joke that anyone could take you seriously.”
I told her that was some pretty mean stuff to say, but she didn’t apologize. And I got detention when a teacher caught me throwing the pizza cheese back at her.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
1. "just a chick"? almost like the no doubt song? fucking cool.
2. betty page, of all useless ugly things?
3. are you half the whiny of a son of a bitch as this "vaughnb" is? (i suppose i don't really mean to step on any reasonably aquainted toes, exactly...pardon me, while muster up a fuck to give. god...this smacks of effort. okay. sorry, i'll have to turn you away empty handed. maybe tomorrow. keep your chin up.)
Reply
2) I like the old Bettie Page pics, I also like Dita Von Teese
3) Lately I have been whiny, yes.
Why insult me and tell me to stick my head in an oven, then tell me you don't mean to step on any toes?
Why ask anything if you don't give a fuck? Empty handed??? You are just some anonymous fuck, easy for you to get all snotty.
Reply
On the way back to Los Angeles I telephoned from the jet Bacon’s agent’s office and I told him-Jeff Skarlito-that if Kevin ever steps foot in my office again he better be wearing body armor.
“I don’t care if he was in Footloose,” I told him through my teeth. I don’t care if he was in fucking five Footlooses. My secretary is my secretary, not a frigging hand towel for the cast of FlatlinersAnonymity is for people who clip out pictures of Joshua Jackson and hang them up inside their closets. Especially rat bastards who speak up when they’re not ( ... )
Reply
Reply
When I sent word to the chaplain that I wouldn’t be able to show up for mass, it was a very sure thing. Like you’d been seein’ out by the cornstalks before the sheds caved in, I been seein’ out by the reds of the wheatfields just before sundown. I ain’t proud of this city no more, Durwood. It’s been the worst of me, and now like the fire from God’s throat it’s gonna be the caving in of my farm.
I just shoulda kicked that Just_A_Chick_03 out into the sheds with the horsefare like I done the sisters before her.
By the time you read this, Durwood, I might well be dead.
Sincerely yours,
Cabe Houghton.
Reply
Reply
god be damned for you queer folk, cause i won't be.
durwood, and don't take a shining to my nominiture just cause it got your favorite play thing in the title.
fag!
Reply
Leave a comment