forgotten both my password and my username. A tumultuous year is now in the books. Difficult would be a good way to describe it, hellish would be another, catastrophic would be a third; there are others not immediately coming to mind that probably describe the year even better ( Read more... )

ever happened to me? Holy shit how am I still mostly alive? But I am worldwidewebwired again, woohoo.

I am so far gone. Not having the internet is strange, not in a missing-it-desperately way, but in the way that all things that sooner or later collapse and fall into themselves do, missing-it-without-remembering-why-I-needed-it way ( Read more... )

I ran into two things yesterday: a barbell at the gym, resulting in a bad bruise on my thigh; the vanity in my bathroom, which I almost knocked off its perch. Despite those two run-ins, or maybe because of, I am really beginning to doubt the solidity of objects. Someone will find the space between spaceless things, and all matter will be ( Read more... )

And we think we've seen all there is to see, darkest nights and deepest spaces, so many distant suns we call stars and a million million planets hidden unreflecting.

I miss the Cities. I am listening to a song by The Plastic Constellations called "Smallest Skyline," and I can only think of the Cities. I didn't know them that well, maybe someday I'll learn them better and they'll learn me as well. But at least they're still there, and can be counted on to be there for a lot while longer. But I don't know why ( Read more... )

Most people only exist as negatives of themselves, so much that it's never hard to imagine them not being there, harder to imagine them as actual physical entities necessary to whatever space they occupy. Remove all the people from a crowd who don't exist except as part of the crowd and almost no one is left. Almost as if they are only brought ( Read more... )

So imagine you know two people you would consider dating: the first is similar to yourself in attitudes, learning, interests and those sorts of things, but while certainly attractive is not your physical type; the second is gorgeous, the embodiment of your personal physical ideal, but has markedly different interests, personality and tastes. Which ( Read more... )

I am avoiding my friends again. They have become boring and they are waiting for me to liven things up a bit. Which I have no intention of doing, so they can leave me the fuck alone for a while. It's not that I don't like my friends, sometimes I just have no use for them. They don't need me to be there for every fucking activity and every get- ( Read more... )

At the shore of all first oceans and maybe the last man that all suns set behind, to talk about shadows without mentioning light he says, "Mine is not merely shadow, mine is only shadow." Leaving me nothing but maybe an arc-light image, some indistinct visual echoes without signifiers. And his waving arms that move entire galaxies cascadingstar ( Read more... )