Everyday I miss him more and more. Everyday I hurt more and more. If I see him, I am the happiest I have ever felt in my life. If he avoids me or I avoid him, I feel horrible again. Hurt, pain, lonliness, suffering... These are all the things that I feel on a daily basis. He loves me but is not in love with me. He is not ready for a relationship. ( Read more... )

so everyone sees the smiling face, the same ole jokes coming from my mouth, but does anyone see whats hiding behind that mask of my former self? nope. i dont know if i want anyone to see it or not. i just dont get the way my dad codles my sister and tells me to toughen up. i have always been stong but sometimes a hero needs a hero. i keep waking up ( Read more... )

im an idiot... that much is clear. i wish i could make it all just go away and forget about him, my world, just everything. seems that when you do so much you get absolutely nothing in return. im done trying or caring for another... its just a big fucking waste of time... he is going to leave, find happiness withput me, and never come back. never ( Read more... )

He was caught for the last time. He has either pulled his head out of his ass or has just gotten better at cheating and hiding it. I want to bad to believe what I see. I have checked everything of his and I have found nothing. But after being lied to time and time again, should I believe it? Or should I just trust my heart again and believe that he ( Read more... )

I am done. I have had all I can take. I want to scream. I want to break things. I want to cry until my ducts are dry. I tell myself I am beautiful just so I don't have to think of the way you look at her. You lied to me. You still are. Why are you such a gutless coward? Why can't you just fess up and tell the truth when you are wrong? I know why ( Read more... )

Everything has an end, you just don't always see it coming. I really wish I had this time. I really wish I could go back and take back things I said that I didn't mean, spend five more minutes holding you... but its too late... I have lost again. I am finished with feelings, with love, with trying. I will become the robot that just lives everyday ( Read more... )

I am a believer in there is no fate but what we make... but what if you put your everything into something and you still can't win or even get ahead? What do you do if there is something you want so bad but you just can't seem to get it? We are told as children the world is at your fingertips, you can do whatever you want as long as you work hard ( Read more... )

Have you ever just wanted to scream what you want at the one you love because you feel that is the only way they will get it ( Read more... )

Just another brick in the wall,
Another thing I've done wrong.
People laugh and joke,
I cry and choke.
I am happy alot.
I am sad often.
It is me.
I have been told a hundred times.
It must be true.
Should have ended it a long time ago.
Now I am  "crazy".
A "whore".
"Stupid"
Tired...
I know I have real problems.
Most hide it and tuck it away.
Its just not that ( Read more... )

i'm in the pitcher's box.
i can feel the tension.
the crowd is undecided.
the pitcher is fierce,
COLD HEARTED.
i make no eye contact.
i swing with everything i've got.
with all my heart and soul.
swing.
miss.
strike one.
MOM.
the crowd boo's and yells.
this time, i meet his gaze slightly.
swing.
miss.
strike two.
DAD.
i've got nothing left.
i can ( Read more... )