This is to all of you who knew me before I dropped off the face of the earth. I apologize to those from which I seemed to fade completely. I had to start over; I had to break my life down in order to be reborn. I had to jump. I think the decent is almost over, I can feel the ground nearly beneath me like a person so close you can feel their breath ( Read more... )

it's been one of those days...months...years

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she called while i was sitting at Denny's earlier tonight. we were on the phone for about an hour, which is impressive for me because i am not a phone person. she used to work at the open mic i went to before it closed up, so we've known each other (once a week) for the better part of a year. about a ( Read more... )

so tonight was the night of a date, that may have not been a date, with a woman whose age is indeterminable. i've come to the conclusion that she's somewhere between too young to be my mother and older enough that people would look twice. date or not, it was a good night full of even better conversation (with the most eye contact i've gotten from ( Read more... )

so i've been tagged by the vacuumer of walls to list six offbeat things about myself. i've never actually followed through with one of these things before. the only reason i'm doing this now is because i'm curious as to what things about myself i consider offbeat. here it goes:

i write letters to people knowing full well it will never reach them. ( Read more... )

i dream in acid trip flashback fashion
defy the laws of physics
to write through one part osmosis
one part passion,
mentally willing words to flow from my fingertips
as steady as this technicolor technicality
of a heartbeat supposedly sustaining
the mortal fabric of my being,
but reality isn't all it's cracked up to be.
i'd rather drift through dreamscapes
( Read more... )

ask me how things are,
and i'll tell you life is blurry.
ask me what i mean,
and i'll say i feel abstract.
ask me how that works,
and i'll tell you to imagine
losing everything
just to realize you had nothing.

a friend of mine saw that as my away message and automatically went to Google to try and find out where it was from. i can now say that i've been ( Read more... )

(eventually) virgin eyes are proven blind
and you're forced to face
the fading light of innocence
setting, while you head due west,
watching reality dim all the colors
you were taught before you learned to sin.

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i'm long overdue for one of those frustrating to read entries chock-full of name avoidance and instead using pronouns like she and you, which ( Read more... )

this could be so much less of a task if i could just defy the laws of physics and write through osmosis. just set my fingers on the keys and let words flow through me like my pulse that's racing. i want my tears of rage to drop and leave words in their wake instead of just water marks or blood stains. i want relief to flow through me and out of me ( Read more... )

i'd cry if there were anything left ( Read more... )

so i'm watching Dr. Phil. not because it's something i would normally do, but because this is the tag line "A 16-year-old boy disapproves of his 45-year-old father's relationship with a 17-year-old  girl". and it just so happens that the 16 year old boy is my friend Jeremy and yes, his dad is engaged to a chick who's 17. i've seen first hand what ( Read more... )