I tend to have this thing when I get in relationships where I feel that I have to constantly entertain to keep the person around. Perhaps because as a child that was actually the case with my school friends. If I wasn't making them laugh then I was of no value to them. Little did I know that's just because they were terrible people. Anyway, I ( Read more... )

One of these days...I'll be good enough and worthy of someone's love...until then though, work keeps the mind from being the devil's playground.

Lately, not unlike always actually, I've taken to having pregnant woman-like cravings for ice cream. Unfortunately they don't make barely-there cotour costumes for people with no protruding collarbone. SO I've settled for a piece of gum and a bottle of water. Hoorah ( Read more... )

O MY GOD!
The tree in my room is blooming.
My tree is growing actual flowers.
Big, red, beautiful flowers.
This means I can have children!
I can take care of a tree.
I MUST be able to take care of children
It was the agreement my roommate and I made!
Oh hell yea!

It's things like the letter I received in my Inbox today that make me continuously desirous of the ability to erase 90% of the first 14 years of my life and each and every person it involved. Where do people get off thinking they can say and ask me such things?! I'm a fucking human being!! Crawl out from under your rock and get a life. Please, it ( Read more... )

I just made my first official trip to the grocery store for food for my new place. Mint Milanos were purchased as well as a bevy of overpriced organic goods that I felt crucial to sustaining my health and girlish figure. Grocery shopping makes me excited. More excited than say...winning in Candyland...or Scrabble even. So you can imagine the ( Read more... )

Scratch that. It's not because I need a jacket and electricity, but because people perpetually, ceaselessly, endlessly disappoint. The close ones, the distant ones, and everyone in between. I don't want to be one of those people who has lost all trust and belief but that's quickly the direction I'm headed.

Lately I've taken to eating only banana-nut muffins, touching myself and others a lot, thinking about boy incessantly, and finding pictures of deconstructive poses ( Read more... )

The illusion has faded and the new smell worn away, leaving me with thoughts like this running, screaming, buzzing through my head whenever there's a moments silence:

I HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE SO MUCH IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT EVERY MORNING WHEN I WAKE UP!Pleasant, huh? :) It's just begun. 6 days! I'm 6 days in and this is how I feel ( Read more... )

"Rocky Horror" auditions were today. Let's recount the day ( Read more... )