Comments | unhobbityhobbit: Fic: Wasta Est

unhobbityhobbit

Fic: Wasta Est

Mar 28, 2012 23:18

Here is a thing.

Title: Wasta Est
Characters/Pairings: England, France, William the Conqueror, other OCs.
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Child abuse. allusions to slaughter and starvation.
Notes: Many thanks to girlfan1979 and elwon for brainstorming and things.
Summary: For an aph kink meme prompt. "Back in 1069-1070, William the Conqueror ordered for the destruction of ( Read more... )

fanfic

Comments 6

girlfan1979 March 29 2012, 08:21:34 UTC

OMGosh, you posted it here! Alas I am out of the house today, and don't know when I will be back. D:

BUT I am, I shall read it and I promise to try to leave proper coherent comments this time! In the meantime, please know glad I am to see this here in all its glory.

unhobbityhobbit March 29 2012, 19:14:57 UTC

How do you even have more comments?

girlfan1979 March 30 2012, 10:04:40 UTC

Well, I admit it will likely most be even more "quote" and then THIS IS AWESOME, but let's be honest, there is plenty of stuff left to say that about. If you really wish for me to write fewer THIS IS AWESOME comments, you will have to write less awesomely. Them's the rules. I don't make them.

girlfan1979 March 30 2012, 10:26:26 UTC

and he was cooped up for hours with servants who said how wonderful he looked with a distinctly bored tone in their voices

I love the "distinctly bored tone" it's so wonderfully petulant to notice this, and yet demand it of his servants anyway. It really captures the (mild) faults of a still young and too spoiled France. Really, the whole first section is a delight of wonderful snippets of characterisation.

Also, but it did set the tone for the excruciatingly long few days they had ahead of them is fantastic little piece of foreshadowing!

As is this: Having his friends with him was less of a comfort than it might have been when they were just as scared of his tormentor as he was, no matter how they fretted over him, though obviously things play out differently between France and England. And, of course, France doesn't have the sense to realise he should be scared until far too late.

England may well be frustrating, but France wouldn't abandon him.I just realized that you use foreshadowing like Chekhov's Gun. If you're going to ( ... )

unhobbityhobbit March 30 2012, 17:14:41 UTC

I love a grumpy France. Hardly anything is good enough and he is going to pout until it gets better, by gum!

Foreshadowing is needed because otherwise people might think that it's possible for things to turn out ok and we can't have that.

but France wouldn't abandon him.

Haha, I might as well have stuck a ...yet on the end there.

girlfan1979 March 30 2012, 20:50:36 UTC

Foreshadowing is needed because otherwise people might think that it's possible for things to turn out ok and we can't have that.

I'm not sure there's enough foreshadowing in the world for that. Even knowing how it ends you just want it to ... not. Not end that way.

but France wouldn't abandon him.
Haha, I might as well have stuck a ...yet on the end there.

You really don't pull your punches at all when you write. (Just to be clear: and that is part of what I love about it.)