Theres a Darkthrone song about Norway that begins with the lyric "I come from a land of systematic erasure of optimism and positiveness, you don't want to encourage me" and i feel that the truism for the grim forests of Norway could just as easily be applied to the land of pine trees and sweet tea from whence i hail. Its a matter of little debate ( Read more... )

"he tendency for entropy to increase in isolated systems is expressed in the second law of thermodynamics - perhaps the most pessimistic and amoral formulation in all human thought." - Greg Hilllast semester i took a biology class, which i had gained interest in for the sole purpose of extracting from life processes some kind of existential ( Read more... )

matt and i started a portland metal blog of sorts, so far my only contribution has been an essay deconstructing the broader implications of a Disrupt video on youtube, i think it will be entertaining, and anyone who finds that the minutes they fill reading my dribble on here slightly better than those they fill getting fillings or sitting in a ( Read more... )

in my on going struggle against hippies who's egos have long since been ravaged by acid overdoses to get one of them to take one night off of the rave culture and freebasing their brain matter with repeated ecstasy doses to cover my shift, i have won a victory. since a week before my birthday i've been haggling with these subhuman dreadlocked scum ( Read more... )

perhaps its adulthood dawning on me, but i feel a sea change in myself boiling in my blood these days. i could be the result of dissatisfaction, of anger, of the seasons, whatever the cause is these days i find myself wearing a scowl allot and having to fight a whole lot harder against the tides of depression and spite that threaten the fragile ( Read more... )

i believe the "indian summer" in portland has passed, and winter has begun to descend like a shade coming down between my window and the sunshine. its not going to be easy i'm sure, but i'll come out the other end allot stronger for having owned up to my seasonal depression and will cherish every fucking nanosecond of spring and summer when they ( Read more... )

"time can't be measured in days the way money is measured in pesos and centavos, because all pesos are equal, while every day, perhaps every hour, is different." - jorge borgesthe weather this weekend in portland has been excruciatingly beautiful, before el nino and global warming i can recall the days of my youth when the leaves changed and fell, ( Read more... )

i love my new room in portland, and i love portland. just lying on my bed and watching rain mist by the street lights and listening to miles davis is a pretty sublime experience alone. day by day i have become increasing aware of the fact that i cannot in any way justify going to college, other than it is the predetermined path of my generation in ( Read more... )

i find myself with an escalating frustration at myself for my apparent inability to make myself hash out what your average person would consider "a life". when i review my habits and day to day actions, they haven't progressed at all since i undertook the endeavor of figuring out adulthood and lay the foundation for my forthcoming existence. I have ( Read more... )

four long and eventful weeks are now blurry undocumented memories in pdx since i last set in cyber stone my feelings and happenings on this journal. I've re-entered the university education system in america. this tuesday marked the start of me dipping my big toe into the murky green waters of higher education, i'm only taking one class at portland ( Read more... )