(Untitled)

[unknownid]

OMG AM WRITING PRESS RELEASE WOULD RATHER CHEW OFF OWN ARM HELP ME HELP ME SHOOT ME NOW ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH

"Promotional language imposes a cognitive burden."
-J.Nielsen

Comments

[danielray]

i'll trade. you can finish my article about blood volume and pharmacological treatment of heart failrue, and i'll write your press release.

[unknownid]

don't tempt me, Frodo.

[dracunculus]

The weird thing is that so-called press releases CLEARLY aren't written for the benefit of the press. The more I read about industry-leading end-to-end best of breed out of the box initiatives leveraging industry standards to provide instant ROI, the more likely I am to trash the whole thing in a spasm of confused irritation. They seem to be written for the benefit of executives, who apparently speak a whole different language than me or anyone I know.

[unknownid]

actually, i have been thinking of you, as you are the face of EveryJournalist to me. am trying to write what would bug the shit out of you the least.

*pets favorite feral pig, dangles bucket of slops*

[dracunculus]

Heh.

Try not to use the word "enable," please.

Send it to me when you're done? I promise not to make fun. Well, not MUCH fun.

[yosemitesam]

But do they have histograms to back up their statements.

Crackhead Observation Index

Yosemite's Apartment ############################################################
Dracunculus' Apartment ###

[spillingvelvet]

que??

[unknownid]

stoopid work, not worth details, just whining.

[spillingvelvet]

*petpet*

[sparktastic]

I did learn once how to write press releases. I don't think the knowledge survived a recent purge of all non-essential non-slash memory.

*hugs in lieu of useful help*