ive been plotting
ive been planning
new things for the future
better things for the future
and a plan that cannot fail
im just counting down the seconds

please please
oh please
someone
oh someone please
tell me who i really am.

i always feel like i'm about thirty seconds from completely shattering. breaking down into a million pieces. to scream so loud that i shatter walls. to cry until my eyes run dry.

i feel like i don't know how much longer i can hold on.

i don't know if its worth hanging on.

i wish... i had something. anything. anyone.
someone.

save

easy come, easy go
cancerslug was fucking epic.
lots of fun
very much reminded me of the old days, how i miss it
oh well
working 2458289 hrs until the end of time
hanging myself from a streetlight until next wednesday
god how i love/hate everything

could i see this coming? maybe.
did i expect i would get left in the dark as well? probably not.

signed the deal on that one, didn't you gutterslut?

i'm gone as soon as i can be.

cats out of the bag now
everyone knows my secret plan
i couldnt cover it up if i wanted to
at least the truth is out
even if it hurts,
its better now then later
forgetting me will be easier this way

with the come of winter,
my path is forked again
the cold brings out the worst in me
time to start thinking again
just forget me completely, i barely matter to you now anymore
nothing matters
no one matters
its all about you.

its such an effort for me to want to do anything anymore
i'd be almost perfectly content with crawling under a rock and never coming out
no one would notice anyway
they are all too busy
they all too cool
they are all having too much fun $^^0!

8-25: The Bled [w/ Saosin ( Read more... )

boys are stupid.
girls are silly.
plastic makes perfect.
i hate what i am.