Fuck

[unmotivated8]

 This is the only word I want to say at the moment: FUCK. I hate my life. I slept til noon today. NOON!!! I haven't gotten anything done. I was late to go look at an apt because I slept so late. Then I didn't even like the apt. It's small and messy and seems like rich-ish people live there. I don't have anything against rich-ish people, I just don'

Comments

[ski_to_live]

Excessive sleeping can be a sign of depression. Any change in sleep can be - either a switch to not sleeping or sleeping too much. Are you on any sleep meds? Because sometimes those can make you sleep A LOT.

Hun, I just want to warn you that if you say "I can purge once a week", I don't think it'll be much of a stretch to say "It's OK, I'm already purging on Sunday, what difference does it make if I do it again now?" You know? It might be a good way to help you from purging all the time though, so it might actually be helpful, and then when you're comfortable with that, trying cutting that out entirely. You know yourself best, sweetie. But be safe. You know the health risks of purging. Please take care of yourself!

<3

[unmotivated8]

I ended up purging five days in a row. It was a bad week. It got off to a rough start by purging on Sunday night and then I just kept purging. I cut too. I just couldn't get our of my funk. I'm feeling better now and have decided to stop purging. I'm going to try and find an ED specialist so I can try and get over this. It's going to take a lot of work though.

I'm not on any sleep medication, just anti depressants and some anti anxiety meds. I've had to increase them this semester. I think I'm out of whack because I've been drinking a lot of caffeine and had some really busy stressful weeks. And then all the purging made me even more depressed.

Thanks for everything :)
xoxoxo

[ski_to_live]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. *hugs* How are you feeling now? I'm really proud of you for going to get help. Have you had any luck yet?

Anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds can cause you to be lethargic. Do you feel low energy just all the time? Ahh...caffeine can be a curse, can't it?

Head up, darling, you're amazing, and so strong!

[unmotivated8]

Caffeine is a curse, but I love it too much to give it up. And yes, I feel low energy most of the time. Like today, I'm not going to class because I have a bad cough and I just don't feel like going.

I haven't had any luck yet, but I'm going to look now and see if I find any. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for all the love.
xoxoxo