Here I am, at the airport, waiting for the flight that departs in an hour and a half, I think this the ideal time to figure myself out. Especially in light of the last few days, I think that its time I finally did this. Last night, Elaine told Missi to be gentle to Dann since they were going to get together after a long time. This started a ( Read more... )

Goin' home tomorrow at nine. Friends are gonna see their S.O's and get laaaaiiid. I will go home and sleep. And then worry about getting a job. *half-smile, half cry* Oh well... thats what alcohol is for! Erasing those annoying insignificant feelings of worthlessness!

Meeeeh, can't draw worth shit today. >_< I swear, something is stopping me from drawing, making it a chore. People around me can just whip out awesomeness, yet I have a hard time deciding what to draw, let alone the complications of getting it down on paper. Gaah, I also got, besides the stupid realization about going home, to feel like I have ( Read more... )

Crud. I've gotta go home in a few days. Besides seeing grandma and a few friends, I've been not really enjoying going back home. If theres nobody here, than its CERTAIN there's nobody for me there. Here is the first place I've really felt accepted and celebrated, the first time I've enjoyed myself here. I want to hang out with Missi and ( Read more... )

I kinda had a breakdown tonight... but I think I've stumbled across something very true. Its not just me, everyone has to put up with these shitty feelings. Some people have an easier time falling for people. I'm just not one of them. I guess I'm just waiting for that ideal girl or that gorgeous yaoi boy to come and sweep me off my feet, and ( Read more... )

I just got up and its 2 pm. O_o I must've been really really tired! At least I have minimal homework to occupy me this weekend, but more pressing are the things I have to pack and what not to pack. Eesh, five days. Not saying in the least that I'm particularly looking forward to going home ( Read more... )

Okay, well, if I can't do anything about it, I may as well ask for adivce. And so I got some. I must apparently be more emotional. I must contemplate this...

I've been thinking. With all this retorical nonsense about attitude... maybe people just want me to shut up. And I am tired of raining on everyone else, so if I fake being happy, maybe I can convince myself that I am without ever being happy? I don't know if that'll work but its better than the alternative. Denial is better than the

I get to go home. I'm so not looking forward to it. Few people come over for the holidays, and of course, being alone; now that Danny has moved on all hope is gone from there, and now I get the change your attitude crap. Thats all I ever hear. Its not true, but everyone is convinced that its a choice on my part. I wish I could stay here, where ( Read more... )

Today I was able to beat off some die-hard creationists by finally using a compiled answer to the 10 most common attacks (I'll post the link soon). They piss me off, telling me that I'm going to hell, while they [obviously] are enlightened and so much better than I (because the Christian God obviously loves people who are arrogant and judgemental ( Read more... )