Beginnings - 小悪魔ヘヴン (15/15)

[unwritten_ideas]

Title - Beginnings - 小悪魔ヘヴン (15/15)
Author - unwritten_ideas
Beta - write_my_dreams
Rating - eventual NC-17, this part NC-17Word Count - 7,251 (69,000ish total

Comments

[nihon_hamano]

Waaaaaaai, it's finished! *throws confetti* おつかれ~

I enjoyed this part so much ^__^ Gotta love Chacha and Jun-ji, there were too many lines that made me crack up that I want to quote that I'll just skip that part and say they pwn XD

But yes, Beginnings is a really fitting name for this! I like it how you leave the end/future open but it still feels like you come full circle. I'm satisfied with this and don't want more, this is perfect (excluding the tiny typos throughout the chapters that I haven't bothered to point out because they are just that. Tiny).

This part flowed, possibly hitched a little at the end of the smut part, but it still worked. Natural all the way, I actually loved the teasing banter they had on in the bedroom XD gave it a nice flavor, if you could say that.

Total thumbs up and a hug as well! *refer to icon used for this comment*

I'll get to rereading chapter 14 someday soon and figure out why it didn't feel OK to me, promise!

[unwritten_ideas]

Like I say, I fail at smut. Foreplay and banter I can just about do, but actual smut? It takes forever and fails.

Thank you for reading and commenting throughout! It's really appreciated.

And don't feel you have to go back to chapter 14. I'm interested, but if you don't have time or the will to do it then that's fine!

[nihon_hamano]

I'll go back to it when I have the BRAIN to think and ponder with... =___=;; work kills it when it comes to anything else than just taking stuff in, as in, reading and staring at dramas/movies on the screen.

Tuesday will be my ninth day in a row at work and after that I have one day off. I'll try to get to chapter 14 on Tuesday, or Wednesday at the latest, just because you're worth the CC.

[saurgristiel]

Yay for the accomplishment!

You don't fail at smut! Their banter was funny and so them and I think you gave it just enough description to let our minds fill in the blanks ^_^.

I loved it! You did a wonderful job on this (except for the here and there typos ^^). I like the "Sparkles" version of why his eye wigged-out juuuuust a little more. But within story context, mystery+no sleep is good too XD. This G is a little smarter than that one XD

#4: I agree, a very fitting title ^_^

♥

[unwritten_ideas]

Haha, I kinda like the "Sparkles" version more too but it wouldn't fit in this, XD This Gackt is a lot smarter (I hope)

Thank you for reading it all! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[saurgristiel]

But dumb GACKT can be so fun! XD

I eagerly await your next story (and the continuation of "Dead to Rights". Ooooooooooh, I really like where that one could go!). (⌒ω⌒) ♥

Edit: *looked through later comments* OH! Yes! JunJi's worst case scenarios were hilarious!

[unwritten_ideas]

I haven't forgotten about Dead to Right's... parts 2 and 3 are written and 4 is fully planned out. I just need to get back to it.

I love Jun-ji.

[shyone05]

Ah, such a good story. And very inventive--the way you followed the building of their relationship throughout the tour.
Hot and sweet, and very self-conscious, just like new lovers in RL--good job; I know what you mean about writing smut, I truly fail it comes across very realistically in this context.
Thanks for sharing :)

[unwritten_ideas]

I'm glad that it was realistic. That's what I was hoping for.

Thank you for reading and for your comments!

[gabba_camui]

;O; the end... buaaaa *cries*

Well...I love the reaction of everybody, they were like... o.O what´s the big deal? we all know that you are in love!
And the smut was so well written! I mean they have the perfect mix of foreplay and...action. Yep they talked a lot XD But I think it didn´t affect the smut at all.

I will miss this, I was used to wait for all your updates. Anyway.. *saves the serie into her favorites*
Well done sweetie!!! You are a great writter ;)

*huuugs*

[unwritten_ideas]

They really did talk a lot... I couldn't keep them quiet.

Thank you for reading and thanks for all of your comments!

*hugs*

[runne]

oh, that's final part! Thanks for everything!

[unwritten_ideas]

Thank you for reading!