There has to be a reason why I keep doing this to myself.

Does there have to be a reason why I keep doing this to myself?

I've run out of forward momentum, but everything I'd been pulling behind me so easily has inertia on its side.

Ouf.

But I'll burn my bridges when and if I come to them, and tonight I'll sleep.

Can't say fairer than that.

Where does the rest of you go...?

Where, indeed?

.

turn the light out, say good night
no thinking for a little while
listen, I'm trying to figure out everything at once
it's hard to keep track of you
falling through the sky
we're half awake in a fake empire

Three years, 25 days and 23 hours later, and I still can't think about it too deeply.

And I still wonder if I'll ever have those parts of myself back, or anything like them at all.

Depression is an insidious creature, not least because it creates in the sufferer the belief that things will not get better.

Once it has passed, it's tempting to think (hope?) that things will not get worse. I wonder if this is perhaps even more damaging than the former state of mind. It's only in fairy tales that foes are vanquished once and for ( Read more... )

The theory is that going through the motions is better than ... not.

I'm not sure what makes it better.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I don't have any appetite, just a series of habits and cravings ( Read more... )

My parents are growing older and my family is growing further apart.

If I don't tell anybody what I think or feel, I'm the only person who knows. Maybe that's why I want to tell people things, and why lately I haven't wanted to.

Riding the waves and rolling with the punches.