You know when you're flying high in the clouds, nothing can bring you down? The sun is shining and the birds are chirping and you've never been happier.  You've fought so hard to get there and you're trying to enjoy it while it's still there? Then the clouds darken the icy cold fists of rain start beating you, you try to fight back because you know ( Read more... )

010607
159 am

Technically only one day left.  I'm not sure what really I'm going to say to him, or how I'l react to seeing him.  Things haven't gotten any easier this week, time is dragging and it's torture, it feels like it has been eternity.

I don't really know how to describe the pain that I am feeling.  There's many analagies that I could use, ( Read more... )

Today is the first day that I've eaten anything in the past three days.  I'm not doing it on purpose, I'm not hungry, food looks unappetizing and it takes like nothing.  Last night is the first night that I slept more then 3 hours, although it was fitfull sleeping...but I finally passed out somewhere near 1 from sheer exhaustion.  Things aren't ok ( Read more... )

Is today really happening, I mean was last night real?

I feel like I'm walking through fog today, that somebody is playing a joke on me.  I don't know what I am doing...the only person that was keeping me grounded....

When I woke up this morning I forgot for a minute why I was sleeping on the couch.  I keep expecting him to walk in the door any ( Read more... )

So I just came home from work because I threw up all over the Exxon bathroom floor, and now I can't fall asleep.  So I guess I'll post what I wrote last night and then see about sleeping.

01/01/07
835 pm

I don't really know what is going through my head right now.  I just...numb, completely numb.  I've never hurt so bad in my life.  I put myself out ( Read more... )

It could all be so simple
But youd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity see
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you cant stay
Tell me, who I have to be
( Read more... )

          Happy New Years!

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
    ~Hinder Better- than me

I'm gonna take a freight train, down at the station
I don't care where it goes
I'm gonna find me a hole in the wall, gonna crawl ( Read more... )

It's that dark feeling that you've buried down inside of you.  You've tried to ignore it but it's slowly rising up, it's slowly gaining momentum.  Too soon before you realize it it's started choking you.  Something that brought you so much joy before only brings tears.  You're scared, terrified that the person that brings you the most joy will be ( Read more... )

What really means the most to you? Is it the things that you've worked hard for, computers and cars and game systems? Is it the things that we all want, that we all need, stability, comfort, security? Is it the things that don't really matter at the end of the day? Is it the ability to feel, the love, and to lose, to laugh, and cry? To smile and ( Read more... )