Comments | ursulahitler: What doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you

ursulahitler

What doesn't kill you, doesn't kill you

Jan 08, 2015 03:22

(I posted this as a comment on Metafilter, with a joke that it had kind of turned into a Livejournal entry. Then it hit me: Oh, yeah, I have a Livejournal. So, here you go.)

2014 was an astonishingly horrible, God Said, "Ha!" kind of year for me. In a year that included losing a good chunk of my colon to cancer, my career imploding yet again and ( Read more... )

Comments 6

mr_sadhead January 8 2015, 15:24:37 UTC

You sure are still here. We're both still standing. 2014 was a hurricane of razor blades for both of us, and we're still here.

ursulahitler January 9 2015, 13:20:46 UTC

Wasn't it, though? I feel like 2015 kind of HAS to be better, because it would be hard for any year to be crappier than 2014. At the very least, I won't have to watch my cat die again this year.

morbioid January 23 2015, 22:26:09 UTC

I’ve always suspected this about life and survival. I hope I never have to find it out first-hand in too hard a way. Normal, non-depressed people have an amazing ability to recalibrate emotionally and accept the new normal. They might be in a war or an accident and get paralyzed from the waist down, but a year later, their mood is the same as before-they have good days and bad days and moment to moment, everything is just normal. I worry that with depressives that isn’t the case, that we never really recalibrate. I still don’t feel OK.

I also had to watch my cat die, a year ago yesterday, and my mom went through the same thing as you with her cancer. I just don’t get life sometimes. It’s too random and too real.

morbioid January 23 2015, 22:26:32 UTC

P.S.: [hug] You are beautiful.

ursulahitler January 31 2015, 11:33:02 UTC

I just saw your response! Thanks so much, hon. You've been through your own hard times, and you're a lot stronger than you think.

chanfaina February 4 2015, 18:45:43 UTC

Just wanted to pop in and say that I'm glad you're still here. And yes, I've had times when I was convinced that I could not possibly bear it any longer. And yet I did. Gracelessly. But I did. And at the time, it felt worse, knowing that I was in this unbearable situation that wasn't getting any more bearable and yet I kept existing.

And yet here we are.

Love to you.