These days I keep a private journal here, mostly a medical log but sometimes including little rants about stuff that's bothering me. Recently I posted one publicly by mistake, and it was up for a few days before I caught it. It was a particularly rough one, hastily written and giving voice to some shitty thoughts I wouldn't even agree with myself, ( Read more... )

I just learned today that Mark Campos took his own life this month. We were online friends for a long time and I find myself grieving a person I never met in person. I only ever knew him as words on a screen. But God, what words.

Oh, Mark. Oh, honey. I wish you hadn't done this thing. You will be missed.

The other day I did a good deed, and came away feeling awful ( Read more... )

Click to view

Some songs just kill me, every damn time. This is one. I don't know why it's so powerful for me. I mean, it's some 2007 band that nobody ever heard from again, and it kind of sounds like one of those no-hit-wonder acts that used to show up at the Bronze on Buffy. This song is best known for being in a freaking Dentene commercial ( Read more... )

So, I didn't keel over dead on Friday. I suppose it must seem terribly drama-queen-y of me when I post something like that, but all's I can say is that I really was scared I was going to die. Things were not good.

See you the next time I think I'm dying.

I'm having one of those mornings when I'm kind of scared I might suddenly die. It's a long story, and a silly one. I'm probably OK. But maybe not. You'd be scared too, and you'd feel silly about it ( Read more... )

(I posted this as a comment on Metafilter, with a joke that it had kind of turned into a Livejournal entry. Then it hit me: Oh, yeah, I have a Livejournal. So, here you go.)

2014 was an astonishingly horrible, God Said, "Ha!" kind of year for me. In a year that included losing a good chunk of my colon to cancer, my career imploding yet again and ( Read more... )

I read Buzzfeed semi-daily, even though there are a lot of things I don't like about it ( Read more... )

Well, I survived that. So much for the easy way out.

Now I spend some time limping around, while I figure out What Is Next.

Click to view

So, I'm going in for cancer surgery. I felt like I should post something here, because... well, maybe I'll die.

This year has ripped me to shreds, stomped on the shreds and then backed a truck over the shreds a few times. 2014 wants me dead, so bad. I don't know what the fuck I did to 2014.

I'm afraid of dying. But I'm not so afraid of it. I'm ( Read more... )