So Friday I thought I was dead. No joke. Scared the shit out of myself. Makes you think about a whole lot way too fast when you think you are dying. Thats all I'll speak of as for Friday. Saturday I attended a wedding reception and a costume party. I went as the guy from Lost In Space. I'm too lazy at the moment to actually look it up. I had the ( Read more... )

So its been over a month and well i guess nothing much is really new. Still figuring things out, but I'm sure that'll be the case till my dying day. Interested in starting a new band but don't know where I'd begin. Plus I'm still a little nervous about the idea of a new band. For obvious reasons but also because I feel like I'm still finding my ( Read more... )

woke up from a dream today, and so far its doing all it can to keep me upset. i slept so restlessly. my bed was in shambles when i woke up. i hurt my hand i think i hit something while i was sleeping. i used to be a really restless sleeper when i was a child. when i was in the hospital they would have to strap me in at night so that i wouldn't ( Read more... )

dear no one ( Read more... )

i need to find an outlet. i feel so backed in with emotion. i mean i am not just sad and shit. there are things i can see worth being happy about, but i just don't know how to express them. talking just doesn't seem to be my thing anymore. my guitar or my hands have something against me because it doesnt work when i try to play. i can't write ( Read more... )

this weekend was ok for the most part. i didn't do much at all. i did have a great saturday morning. i sat in my room with my headphones on, after about 10 minutes, and 3 bowls. i could not help it i just had to play guitar. there was some cool shit going on. for some reason i just can't write a song. maybe i am just not cut out for this. ( Read more... )

last night i was up much later than i normally am. i just sat around on my computer doing nothing. things are so confusing right now. i don't know who my friends are anymore. i can't help but feel like something worse is about to happen. this morning i woke up pretty early. i decided to sit and listen to some music on the headphones. ::french ( Read more... )

well its almost been a month since my last entry, and how things have gotten so much worse. luckily i won't be winning i'll just talk about something that happen to me tuesday. i went to work as scheduled. when i get i am fine no problems. then BAM!!! my asthma kicks in strong. i start having an attack. i haven't had an attack like it since i ( Read more... )

hey now world here is your biggest winer. only i can't begin to wine. i guess i can try to think logically about everything. some people were just born to die. i have been a strong believer that everyone has a purpose for living. the hard fact is that simply no matter how hard we like to think there is a purpose for are existance, some of us ( Read more... )

its been a bit. well i was getting over the weird feeling that i was having. when last night it seemed like everything that could possibly destroy me started happening. i won't go into details i guess because there is no point. the worse hasn't happened but i am sure it will soon. no matter how hard i try it seems like i am on an unfinished ( Read more... )