I hate my life. epic fail. im an idiot and i really want to die most of the time. aslo this bar is beat

ugh sober and annoyed. kind of want a beer. but i promised my self i'd not drink tonight. though i'm tempted to run to Gravel. I kind of want to leave in Feb. I mean really . I took a good hard look and I've got nothing. My bestfriend returns my calls and texts about 40% of the time. Like seriously if Mike dosnt want to do anything jsut let me know ( Read more... )

So i have deleted all of my pictures of my ex. she is forever gone from my computer. I've kept the becky and mia and kellie and jess pics.

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Its not all razorblades and rain clouds. I do a good job of pretending like I'm having a good time out in public or at work. I do function like a normal human being in public. ITs not like I dont have a bunch of interested girls. I 've hooked up with quite a few of them, it's just me that's not really interested. I', just sad a lot inside, i guess ( Read more... )

new scars are like a new tattoo and it dose make me feel better

I hate my life I really do. i jsut dont know anymore. im tired of being sad. i cant belive i was so replaceable. becky was a better ex than my current ex. she didnt dump me for someone else. she didnt waste a year and a half of my life. i want my fuckin time back. the worst is the feeling of being let down. and i hate that she ruined my ( Read more... )

So fucking cold this winter. ugh i hate it. cold at work, cold out side, cold at home. grr. Hung out in North Wales yesterday. Weird ebing there. I have been up there since my ex. Hadnt been to the mall since the Alkaline Trio show. Not one of my finer moments. Hung out with Lauren, Mike and Aubrey. Had a lot of fun. I felt like my old self in the ( Read more... )

... is for to the hysterical crying to stop

old habits die hard unfortunately

I don't know whats worse, the depression, alcoholism or being heart broken. I once asked someone to help me with depression and she turned her back on me. I once asked someone to help with the drinking and she dumped me. I dont want to drink anymore but I cant help it. Its the only thing that makes me feel normal. Thats what I get for putting faith ( Read more... )