Dark Feelings

[vagabondage]

In the past three weeks, since the chemo has stopped working, I feel my body deteriorating. I have developed an almost permanent wheeze, which is extremely depressing, especially when I'm laying down to go to sleep. My feet and ankles are bloating up again, like they did when this all started nine months ago. I know that walking will help me shed

Comments

[renenet]

*hugs you supertight* Keep moving, keep fighting! I love you!!! ♥ ♥ ♥

[vagabondage]

*revels in hugs*

Will do, and I love you, too!

[gwyn_r]

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way--emotionally and physically. It is really hard to maintain that positive fighting spirit sometimes, and I know you know this, but you are entitled to that feeling. We love you.

[vagabondage]

Thank you! Kind words mean so much at times like this. I love you, too!

[ride_4ever]

I've had (and have) my own health scares, and one person's scares do nothing to mitigate another's so I'm not saying that, but what I am saying is that whenever I think about mortality -- everyone's mortality -- I think about how everyone only has the moment they are having right now until they have the one next moment and the one next one. You're having that moment now, and by the time you've finished reading this comment you will have had more moments.

Keep having moments, one by one, on and on!

I'm thinking positive thoughts for you to get into that trial after the upcoming interview, and to have more moments full of fight and life and love!

[vagabondage]

I can't thank you enough for these words, thoughts, and bits of wisdom. Ya know, the reason there is a Buddha on my arm is remind me to live in the moment, and right now I really needed to be reminded of it.

You're a wonderful friend, delightful human being, clever soul, and I am very grateful for the day that you came into my life.

HUGS!!!

[heresluck]

Yeah, that IS scary. I'm glad you have good drugs (and other coping mechanisms) to help you get you through the worst moments -- and your fighting spirit to get you through everything. I hug you hard.

[vagabondage]

I take the hugs, love, and strength, my friend. Thank you!!!

[meri_oddities]

::hugs you:: Hopefully things are better tonight. Hang in there.

[vagabondage]

I'll take all the hugs I can get! Thank you!!! I'm doing my best to wade through this crap.