I have a more than rational fear of my bed. Perhaps it comes hand in hand with my fear of being alone, in most situations. I force friends to go to the water fountain with me, to go a few meters away with me. Why? Because i'm petrified of being alone, having an invisible spotlight where no one but myself can see it, burning down onto me. I'm not ( Read more... )

Another built in tradition, maybe the only one i'll perpetually indulge in. Maybe not ( Read more... )

I know i've been screaming sorrow and dancing to misery for the last...fuck...few years i suppose, enjoying small breaks here and there. Though, i think that last night...i had more fun than i ever have in a very..very long time ( Read more... )

i don't understand you, and i don't know where we stand, and secretly i really wish i did know.

and yet, maybe it's just nowhere, therein we'll never know where we stand because we just don't. i wish that weren't the case.

yeah...it's all about the silence these days.

Sometimes when I talk to you it's like everything melts away, all the pent up anger that I had for you is gone...because...you're you. And suddenly you seem to understand, is that good enough though? Should I expect more than that? Perhaps it's when you try and force a square and a triangle together they make a surreal sort of art that's as ( Read more... )

Hanging over a balcony that looks over the edge of the world, I don't think I can see you anymore. Maybe it was just another illusion, brought about by my self-delusions of something better. Perhaps when you come down to it, it's for the best. I'd kill you and I know it before the eyes ever met, I know I would. It's not out of self pity, perhaps ( Read more... )

Confessions of love and unsaid feelings are still running through my head, giving a different sort of jump to every step I take. Even if the words were breaking through a screen door of caution like insects on a hot summer’s day, I think they were real enough. No, they told me so themselves when the screen was back up. Whispering a hope for ( Read more... )

I think, even now in my somewhat drunken state i have some sort of coherency that is relatively impressive amongnst potential fuck ups. yes. that's right folks. the ability to derive pleasure from pain is an interesting experience. why, i remember many a time in social studies, i would get megan to slap my arm, the stinging sensation running up my ( Read more... )

In German class right now. The Donzel is probably off sick, that or butchering small puppies in acts of satanism. Which ever is fine, I really don't care ( Read more... )