SPN BigBang: Above and Below, Part 2
See masterpost for summary, rating and further information.
Understandably, Jimmy expects the skin of Sam’s stomach to sport a burn the shape of Dameal’s hand, much like the mark Castiel once left on the skin of Dean’s arm in the shape of Jimmy’s hand. He’s wrong, but it’s a while before he learns that.
Sam never get another shirt and thus remains naked from the waist up, but when Jimmy next goes to him he’s curled up on his knees, his arms wrapped around himself as best he can with his hands still chained, and his wings are folded close to his body like a shield. His forehead touches the ground and his hair falls down to hide his face. He doesn’t react to anything Jimmy says to him.
The next time he’s a little more upright, but the sickly pallor of his skin frightens Jimmy. Once again he has to think of Dean’s warning that his brother wouldn’t last a year in Heaven. He doesn’t even know how much time has passed since Sam was brought here, or if the time was as long or as short for Sam as it was for him.
This time, Sam is using his arms to shakily push himself into a sitting position, leaving his stomach unprotected. What Jimmy sees there isn’t a handprint, but an Enochian symbol he has never seen before. Its lines are blackened and the skin around them marked by angry read streaks as if it were poisonous, or rotting its way through Sam’s body. It’s obviously still very painful and Jimmy winches at the sight.
“I’m sorry,” he says, but Sam only looks at him as if he were speaking an unknown language.
Since he can’t think of anything else to say, Jimmy sits on the floor a few feet away from the demon and leans his back against the wall. Sam keeps looking at him like he expects something, but doesn’t say anything. He looks like he could badly use some sleep, even though Jimmy is pretty sure something like that doesn’t even exist in this place.
Eventually, Sam speaks. “Did you hear anything?” he asks, and Jimmy is shocked at the audible tremor in his voice. “About what happened with Dean and that angel?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I don’t know any more than you do. Dean attacked Dameal and tried to kill him. I don’t know why.”
To his surprise, Sam laughs. It sounds strangely emotionless. “If Dean wants to kill an angel,” he says, “that angel is dead afterwards. He doesn’t ‘try’.”
“Well, apparently he did.”
“No. He didn’t. He’s not that stupid.”
“So you’re saying Dameal lied?”
“You say that as if it was outrageous to even suggest it.”
If Jimmy thinks about it, it really isn’t. After all, the hatred between angels and demons goes both ways and on top of that Jimmy knows that some angels are so loyal to Castiel and his cause that they take the Winchester’s attempt to stop him from absorbing purgatory very personal. Maybe this was all just a ploy for a chance to hurt the boy king.
The thought still doesn’t sit well with him.
“If he did, Castiel would have known about it.”
Sam shrugs, like he doesn’t think it would make a difference.
+*+*+
The next time Dean is ordered to the great hall, Jimmy doesn’t even notice until he enters Sam’s cell and finds it empty. Dread fills him the very same moment; he doesn’t for one second think that the angels simply let him go.
No one stops him from entering the hall, but after three steps it’s like he ran into an invisible wall and he can’t move on. He’s inside just far enough to see what’s going on, even though his vision is obscured by a couple of angels standing in his line of sight.
He can’t see Dean, for example, but he can see part of an angel he recognizes as Dean’s personal guard whenever he’s up here. Castiel he can’t see either, until he speaks and Jimmy realises he was looking in the wrong place: for once, the New God isn’t sitting on this throne but standing beside Sam at the bottom of the stairs.
Jimmy only knows Sam is there because he can see one wing behind the angel right in front of him.
“… no point in denying it,” Castiel’s voice is ringing through the hall just now. As always, it makes Jimmy shiver to hear his own voice like that, vibrating with power and yet strangely empty. “We know you have found more of the weapons than you handed over to us. You will tell us where the remaining ones are hidden.”
“Fuck you,” Dean replies, much to the shock of the surrounding angels, and much to Jimmy’s shock as well. He doesn’t even know what this is about, but he knows Sam will pay the price for whatever Dean did wrong and that Dean can’t possibly want that. “Your buddy Balthazar has hidden them damn well - that’s why I haven’t handed them in yet. The easiest way to find them would be simply to ask him - but, oh, I guess you didn’t think that far when you killed him, did you?”
Jimmy frowns, not understanding what that was about. But the New God ignores the open accusation and just says, “The hiding places are magically protected. I can feel the disturbance when the protection is broken. One for every weapon in that spot. Six protections broken - four weapons handed in.” He turns away and the angel in front of Jimmy moves a little, allowing him to see Sam.
Like last time, he’s hanging in chains from a ceiling so high it’s invisible, and his upper body is still naked. The symbol burned into this skin stands out like a stigma for all to see. His black eyes are fixed on Dean and ignore everyone else in the hall, including the God right beside him.
He doesn’t look good, but then he hasn’t looked good in a long time. What Dean must think when he sees his brother’s greyish skin and bloodshot eyes, Jimmy can only guess.
“You will get a chance to hand over the objects afterwards,” the New God says graciously. “This is a warning.” And when the other angel in Jimmy’s way steps aside, Jimmy can see the knife in Castiel’s hand.
It looks ordinary enough: a short, old knife with a worn handle and no markings that set it apart from every other old, ordinary knife. But there’s a curse coming from Dean’s direction and Sam goes pale when he sees it. Then he closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them again they are set on his brother and as calm and collected as before.
“You recognize this, of course,” the New God says to Dean. “I believe it is hard, even for you, to forget the weapon you killed your brother with.”
Now it’s Jimmy’s turn to gasp, but no one pays attention to him. He becomes aware again of just how little he knows about the boy king and his second in command.
“I trust you know what this means?” the New God goes on, sounding disconcertingly like a school teacher. “Since this is the weapon that killed Sam, it is the only one that can permanently harm him.” As if to underline his words, he sets the knife to Sam’s upper arm and cuts his skin; Jimmy sees the blood that immediately runs down his arm and drops to the floor, soon after joined by the blood from a second cut a few inches above the shackles around Sam’s wrists.
“These cuts are harmless, but they will never heal.” Jimmy doesn’t know if this is supposed to be a reminder for Dean or an explanation for everyone else. “Keep that in mind when you make your decision - if you continue to work against me, I will next cut off one of Sam’s ears. After that I will start with his fingers.” He crooks his head in the way Castiel always did - a gesture Jimmy never consciously did himself that looks alien on his body. “Where are the weapons, Dean?”
“Dean doesn’t have them,” Sam suddenly speaks up. “Do you really think he’d be so stupid to hide them from you if you have a hostage?”
“Yes, I do,” the New God says without batting an eye. “Because Dean has a history of not thinking things through.” After a second of silence he adds, as if in an odd and completely out of place attempt to comfort his prisoner, “He simply did not consider the consequences of disobeying me. It’s impossible to imagine he wanted you to come to harm. And now be quiet - any further words and I will cut out your tongue.”
Sam looks like he’s going to ignore that threat and Jimmy’s heart sinks to his stomach. But before Sam can provoke the New God into doing something Jimmy really, really doesn’t want to see, Dean yells, “Okay, alright, I’ll tell you, you fucking asshole!”
“Dean!” Sam snaps and Jimmy swallows, but the New God merely smiles.
“I knew you would,” he says.
+*+*+
“Do I get this right? You wanted him to maim you?” Jimmy asks, exasperated, when he takes care of Sam’s cuts later and Sam is still steaming with anger at his brother. “Because even I don’t believe he wouldn’t have done it.”
“Of course he would have done it,” Sam says exasperatedly. “He would have had to. But that’s not the point! Dean can’t just let every decision be influenced by his need to protect me. Do you have any idea how many messes he created just because of that? How can I trust him to do what he has to do when I always have to worry he’ll throw everything away just because someone pulls a gun on me?”
Jimmy doesn’t think this is a very good argument, or a very healthy world view. But maybe being a king in Hell changes the perspective. In any case, he would have appreciated if Sam didn’t move around so much, because it makes stitching him up very hard.
“So, you wouldn’t have tried to protect Dean is your roles were reversed?” he asks.
Sam glares at him in irritation. “Only if the circumstances allowed it,” he says. Jimmy doesn’t believe him for a second. But he says nothing and concentrates on his work instead.
The cuts are pretty deep, and even though an hour or so has passed, the bleeding hasn’t lessened in the least. Jimmy supposes the New God was right about the wounds not healing. It makes him feel slightly sick when he thinks about it, and somehow it doesn’t help that Sam doesn’t seem to care that he might be blessed with two bleeding wounds in his left arm for the rest of eternity.
Maybe Castiel will heal them when he’s back to normal again. Jimmy can only hope that’s actually possible.
“So, Dean killed you?” he asks, aiming for a conversational tone. He’s trying to distract Sam from the pain of the stitches, but he’s also trying to satisfy his own curiosity.
On closer observation, Sam doesn’t really seem to need distracting. But at least he’s forthcoming with information this time.
“Yes.”
“Yes? That’s it?”
“That’s all you asked.”
Sam is in a bad mood because of Dean’s decision not to let his nose get cut off. Jimmy can totally get behind that.
“You act like my daughter when she was five,” he says. “Why did he kill you? I can’t imagine he did it for fun, especially with both of you bound for Hell.”
“Actually, I wasn’t bound for Hell at that time. I don’t think Dean would have done it otherwise.” Sam’s voice is softer now, his anger apparently forgotten. When he realises that Jimmy is eager for an explanation, he offers it willingly. “I was insane,” he says with a shrug. “Completely out of touch with reality. My mind was trapped in the memories of Lucifer’s cage and there was no hope of me ever getting better. Dean didn’t want me to suffer any longer, so he killed me. Afterwards he slit his own throat.”
It sounds easy the way Sam tells it; just a statement of facts, no hint of the suffering and desperation that have driven a good man to murder and suicide. “Then why aren’t you in Heaven?”
“Because I wouldn’t go without Dean. I actually waited for him, outside my body, with a reaper basically tapping his foot in impatience.” He smiles at the memory thought it doesn’t seem all that funny to Jimmy. “But Dean committed fratricide and then suicide - two pretty big sins, and Castiel wasn’t so big on forgiveness at that time. He stuck to the old rules, ignored circumstances… later he showed up himself and made it very clear that there was nothing he could do for Dean’s soul. Examples, I guess. He had to strengthen his position as ruler of Heaven, after all, so exceptions were out of the question, and on top of that he was pretty pissed at Dean. So Dean stayed on earth as a ghost rather than move on to his final destination, and I stayed with him.”
It’s the longest speech Sam has given since getting here, and Jimmy is determined to make use of his talkative mood. “You were ghosts? Is that how you ended up in Hell as well? Because you turned into angry spirits and slaughtered random victims?”
“No. With me being the way I am, Hell had a certain… pull on me. Also, I was going insane again because it was my soul, not my mind that was damaged. So there was the choice of either sticking around and eventually losing it and being pulled down to Hell again, or going to Heaven without my brother.”
He says it like that was a no brainer. But Jimmy once turned down paradise for a potential eternity of being prisoner in his own body in order to protect his daughter, so he isn’t really one to judge Sam’s choice insane.
Though that insanity he mentioned might have had a certain influence on his decision. After all, being a vessel to a moderately nice angel isn’t the same as eternal torture in Hell.
“So when you went to Hell in the end…?”
“Dean came with me,” Sam confirms.
“And then you just became king?” Jimmy asks doubtfully.
Sam merely shrugs. “I was kind of predestined for it. Also, Dean and I, we’re only ruling a tiny little corner, and we pick our followers very carefully, since demons have a tendency to stab you in the back.” He says it with a smirk as if there’s a private joke in there that Jimmy doesn’t get.
“Still. It’s an unusual career choice for the good guys,” Jimmy says uncertainly.
“Just consider us good demons, then. We don’t even have racks in our territory. And we don’t possess people.”
“Even on earth?” Jimmy frowns, confused. He once heard that Sam and Dean Winchester appeared to someone in their old shapes, but short of them possessing their own corpses, he doesn’t see how that would work. “How is that possible?”
“Demons are, in the end, nothing but ghosts,” Sam explains. “Depending on the ghost, they sometimes are pretty damn material as well. Especially if they don’t know they’re dead. We’re merely copying the method.”
“So you would pass for living people on earth?” That does sound a little unlikely now.
“Mostly.”
Jimmy has a lot more questions about this but Sam seems distracted, and he realises that this conversation is over. Still, it served to make him like this demon a little more.
Or rather, to make him feel less bad about liking him anyway. Disliking Sam somehow was never on the menu, even though he tried.
*+*+*
Neither of them knows it at the time, but right after Dean’s second visit would be the last significant conversation Jimmy has with Sam. Afterwards, he gets summoned to the New God and spends an indefinable amount of days as his vessel on earth. He doesn’t know what happens in that time - as usual, the New God keeps Jimmy’s own consciousness far under and the next thing he is aware of is being back in his Heaven and for all he knows no time has passed at all.
Time doesn’t matter there, so it takes a while before he begins to wonder why he hasn’t been summoned to Sam for so long. Usually, he’s pulled back out of his own paradise automatically in more or less regular intervals, but this time nothing happens for so long Jimmy actually finds himself beginning to worry.
In his Heaven, it is hard to remember that Sam even exists. The place is designed to keep away all worries. But a nagging voice at the back of his mind won’t leave him alone; a kind of expectation that is never fulfilled.
By the time he finally is called back, Jimmy appears in the usual spot with a feeling of dread.
The feeling is justified. The New God, he learns from an angel coming to pick him up, has left the building - in the literal rather than the figurative sense. Castiel is busy somewhere, doing something. He obviously isn’t on earth, since he doesn’t need his vessel, but he’s caught up in some serious matters and can’t take care of his prisoner anymore. Therefore, the responsibility for Sam has been transferred to Dameal.
Jimmy feels sick when he hears that, though the angel who tells him doesn’t seem to think much of it. In the time since Dameal burned his sigil into Sam’s skin, Jimmy learned a bit more about him. He knows this is one of the angels who used to follow Michael and later Raphael and converted to Castiel’s side out of fear rather than loyalty. He also knows that he hates demons with a passion and hates Sam more than anything because he averted the apocalypse and is responsible for Michael ending up in Lucifer’s cage.
For a moment Jimmy wonders if Castiel wants to get rid of this one for good, because he keeps giving him opportunities to do things to Sam Dean will kill him for.
Apparently, Dameal was not of the opinion that Jimmy was needed until now. The human soul dreads what state Sam might be in when he finally get to see him. He’s pretty sure the New God would not appreciate his hostage dying on them, but short of that, anything is possible.
Jimmy wants to get to Sam’s cell, but he’s taken to the great hall instead. It confuses him only until he is led to the throne, where the angel accompanying him steps away to take care of other business he has.
The throne is empty, as expected. There are some other angels present, doing whatever they do in this place whenever Castiel isn’t holding court. They don’t pay attention to Jimmy and Jimmy isn’t paying attention to them; his attention is immediately taken by the chains hanging down from the impossibly high ceiling. The ones that are never there if they aren’t needed.
He finds Sam at the end of them. He’s kneeling on the ground beside the pedestal of the throne because the chains don’t leave him another choice. His hands are no longer bound loosely in front of his body but tightly, wrist to elbow, on his back, forcing him to bend over. And his wings…
His wings have been tied with iron clips that are fastened around the bones and pierce the black, leathery skin between them. These clips are also attached to chains and hold the wings completely unfurled and pulled upwards in a way that somehow reminds Jimmy of a pinned butterfly on display. His stomach turns when he remembers how sensitive they are, flinching away from even the lightest of touches.
“He nearly killed two angels before they managed to restrain him,” the angel that accompanied Jimmy said, not without grudging respect, before he left. Jimmy can well imagine Sam doing that.
Now Sam is still, kneeling with his head bend and his face hidden by his hair. Jimmy’s heart races when he runs over to him.
Absurdly, he feels the need to apologize.
Only after a second does Jimmy realise that Sam also is naked, adding further to the humiliation of being put on display like this. The only things he’s wearing are the chains and the bandages around the stitched wounds in his arm. They’re soaked with blood now - fresh blood, even days or however long it was after receiving the wounds.
Jimmy knows he’s here because he’s supposed to do something for Sam, but he can’t for the figurative life of him imagine what.
Sam flinches every so slightly when Jimmy touches him, but that’s all the reaction he gets out of the demon before he gently places his hands under his chin and lifts his head to he can look at his face.
As expected, Sam is conscious, because unconsciousness exists in this place just as little as sleep does. More small mercies that are taken from Sam - though Jimmy doesn’t even know if he sleeps in Hell.
He’s pale - paler than he was before, though Jimmy hardly thought that possible. Dark, bruised looking rings circle his eyes and his colourless lips are flecked with dried blood. Even his black eyes seem dull as he blinks at Jimmy.
“Hey,” he breathes.
It’s not quite the greeting Jimmy expected. In fact, he didn’t expect any greeting at all. And he doesn’t know what to say in return, because ‘How are you?’ seems to be a pretty silly question at the moment.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks instead, and to his surprise, Sam answers immediately, as if he’d just waited for someone to finally offer.
“Water,” he whispers roughly.
Water it is, then. Jimmy carefully lets Sam’s head sink down again and stands, looking around. Of course, no water basin randomly opens up to offer him a cup. In fact, he doesn’t remember ever having seen water before in this place. No one actually ever needs it here.
In his own Heaven, he’d know where to get water. The water tab in the kitchen, for example. But it’s not like he can go there by choice, and even if he could, he doesn’t know it he could take anything out of it but himself.
So he leaves Sam, hard as it is, and goes searching. The angels he asks only look at him as if he had a second head growing out of his chest and obviously don’t know what to make of the question. Jimmy leaves the great hall and runs around outside, but he only gets lost in the corridors and always ends up back in front of he hall. Even Sam’s cell seems to be gone. Maybe it is.
There’s nothing he can do except return to Sam and tell him as much.
“It’s not like you can die of thirst here,” he tries to offer as consolation.
“No,” Sam croaks. “But I can feel like it.”
Jimmy winces. So much for comfort.
He does his best to fight down his own despair. This isn’t the Heaven he always believed in. And these aren’t the angels he sacrificed his humanity for.
What he can do for Sam is change the dressing of his wounds. The next bandages will be soaked soon enough, too, but with the stitches the cuts aren’t bleeding as badly as they did before and at least the bandages will keep the blood from running down Sam’s body and tickling him on top of everything else.
Unfortunately, due to the way his arms are bound, getting the old bandages off and applying new ones is awkward and inevitably causes Sam more pain.
In the end, Jimmy sits and keeps him company, trying to distract him as much as he can. Then, one second to the next, he’s standing in his yard watering the flowers and watching four-years-old Claire run about playing with the doll she got for her birthday.
+*+*+
After that, things go from bad to worse so quickly Jimmy can hardly keep up. He’s taken to Sam only every once in a while, and every time Sam seems to be weaker. Once, Jimmy can only watch helplessly as Sam is once again thrown around by some kind of seizure - just like he has seen before, in the cell. Only this time, Sam is bound tightly and his wings are pierced, and he’s inevitably causing himself even more pain.
The next time Jimmy sees him he’s not seizing, but he also doesn’t speak and sneers at the human when he tries to change the bandages that are once more soaked with blood. Another day, he’s fighting his bonds regardless of the pain he causes himself, his eyes wild but unseeing as he calls out in a language Jimmy doesn’t understand. One of the words sounds like “Dean”. A couple of angels stand by and watch, and Jimmy realises with a sinking feeling that Sam has finally snapped under the pressure of his captivity and the alienness of his place.
However, one day later Sam is calm again, recognizing him and talking coherently. Still, there is something in the way his eyes won’t quite focus that tells Jimmy that his sanity isn’t going to last.
All this is taking its toll on him. He has been here for a long time, without sleep or any kind of comfort, chained naked in a public spot to further humiliate him, in a place that makes him sick. Even without the torture - Jimmy really doesn’t have it in him anymore to call it anything else - any normal person would have snapped long ago. In the face of all the things he’s been put through since coming here, Jimmy couldn’t help admiring this man, demon or not. It’s painful, now, to watch him break.
Then the time comes when Dean is summoned again. Castiel is back and in charge, with Dameal standing somewhere in the background, one eye on his bound victim, the other on his God. Jimmy arrives in the hall before Dean does, and he tries to plead with Castiel the moment he sees him. He wants his angel to put an end to this, to put Sam back in his cell, where he’s as safe as a demon can be in Heaven. But the New God ignores his pleas. All this actually happens for a reason, he tells his vessel, generous as he is these days. Dean is taking his sweet time with his task, stalling as an act of rebellion, the New God says. Making his brother suffer constantly shall inspire him to hurry. Regardless Dean is still taking his time showing up here and he also missed to report back to the angels about his progress. It is time, now, to remind him what is at stake.
Jimmy doesn’t know what that will come down to, but he has seen Sam’s earlier punishments. And he doesn’t know, weakened as he already is, how Sam can possibly handle another permanent injury.
So he summons all his courage and steps up to the throne, in front of all the angels and a demon who might not even hear. “Please,” he says, bowing his head but keeping his eyes on Castiel’s face. His own face. “Have mercy. He’s just a boy.”
“He is a demon and far older than you can imagine,” the New God replies. “Hell created him.”
“He’s a child!” Jimmy snaps. “He didn’t have thirty years on earth! And he doesn’t deserve this.”
“Do not question my judgement!” The New God shoots back, his tone calm but his voice like thunder. “And do not try my patience.”
The last bit is added almost as an afterthought, but Jimmy senses, instinctively, that it’s time to retreat. Castiel doesn’t take well to critique these days. He sees it as betrayal, and traitors can hope for no mercy.
The New God probably won’t destroy him, since he needs him as a vessel. But then, maybe he will. Maybe he’ll just take another vessel, one that’s female and so much younger…
It was, perhaps, the parental instincts in Jimmy that made him step up there. It’s the father in him that makes him step down.
He tries to get closer to Sam, see if he’s even aware of what’s going on around him, but angels block his way and Jimmy is almost certain they do it on purpose.
The dread nearly kills him, figuratively speaking, with every second the doors remain closed and Dean refrains from entering. Eventually, even the angels begin to get restless. When finally the doors open Jimmy flinches, but it’s only an angel in a black suit who runs up the steps to the New God and whispers something in his ear.
If the New God is surprised by whatever he hears, he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t even blink but calmly stands and announces, “The demon Dean Winchester is in hiding. He has wilfully ignored a direct order to appear here. The punishment of his brother, the boy king, will be doubled and executed in his absence. Make sure the demons learn of it.”
Jimmy nearly wails in desperation when he hears the words. When two angels take his arms and usher him out of the hall before the show starts, he is almost glad.
*+*+*
The next time Jimmy sees Sam, the boy is in a pitiful state. He’s covered in bruises that already look old, which either means he heals quickly even in Heaven or that he hung here, on his own, for a long time.
The injuries, by and large, look superficial and upon fleeting observation, Jimmy can’t find anything worse. It’s not reassuring. There are a hundred things the angels could have done to Sam that are not obvious on first sight.
As always, Sam is conscious, but it takes awhile for his eyes to focus on Jimmy. His lips are once again dry and flecked with blood.
“Dean…” Sam groans, softly. Jimmy’s heart sinks and he sets to tell the kid that he’s not Dean when Sam starts again and manages, “Something’s wrong with him.”
Jimmy thought about that as well, and judging by what he saw of Dean since this whole mess started, he believes Sam might be right. “He would have come if he could,” he says.
“So he can’t,” Sam agrees. “Something’s wrong. He’s in trouble.” He looks at Jimmy and for the first time in ages, his black eyes are clear again. “You have to help me get out of here.”
NEXT
Understandably, Jimmy expects the skin of Sam’s stomach to sport a burn the shape of Dameal’s hand, much like the mark Castiel once left on the skin of Dean’s arm in the shape of Jimmy’s hand. He’s wrong, but it’s a while before he learns that.
Sam never get another shirt and thus remains naked from the waist up, but when Jimmy next goes to him he’s curled up on his knees, his arms wrapped around himself as best he can with his hands still chained, and his wings are folded close to his body like a shield. His forehead touches the ground and his hair falls down to hide his face. He doesn’t react to anything Jimmy says to him.
The next time he’s a little more upright, but the sickly pallor of his skin frightens Jimmy. Once again he has to think of Dean’s warning that his brother wouldn’t last a year in Heaven. He doesn’t even know how much time has passed since Sam was brought here, or if the time was as long or as short for Sam as it was for him.
This time, Sam is using his arms to shakily push himself into a sitting position, leaving his stomach unprotected. What Jimmy sees there isn’t a handprint, but an Enochian symbol he has never seen before. Its lines are blackened and the skin around them marked by angry read streaks as if it were poisonous, or rotting its way through Sam’s body. It’s obviously still very painful and Jimmy winches at the sight.
“I’m sorry,” he says, but Sam only looks at him as if he were speaking an unknown language.
Since he can’t think of anything else to say, Jimmy sits on the floor a few feet away from the demon and leans his back against the wall. Sam keeps looking at him like he expects something, but doesn’t say anything. He looks like he could badly use some sleep, even though Jimmy is pretty sure something like that doesn’t even exist in this place.
Eventually, Sam speaks. “Did you hear anything?” he asks, and Jimmy is shocked at the audible tremor in his voice. “About what happened with Dean and that angel?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “I don’t know any more than you do. Dean attacked Dameal and tried to kill him. I don’t know why.”
To his surprise, Sam laughs. It sounds strangely emotionless. “If Dean wants to kill an angel,” he says, “that angel is dead afterwards. He doesn’t ‘try’.”
“Well, apparently he did.”
“No. He didn’t. He’s not that stupid.”
“So you’re saying Dameal lied?”
“You say that as if it was outrageous to even suggest it.”
If Jimmy thinks about it, it really isn’t. After all, the hatred between angels and demons goes both ways and on top of that Jimmy knows that some angels are so loyal to Castiel and his cause that they take the Winchester’s attempt to stop him from absorbing purgatory very personal. Maybe this was all just a ploy for a chance to hurt the boy king.
The thought still doesn’t sit well with him.
“If he did, Castiel would have known about it.”
Sam shrugs, like he doesn’t think it would make a difference.
+*+*+
The next time Dean is ordered to the great hall, Jimmy doesn’t even notice until he enters Sam’s cell and finds it empty. Dread fills him the very same moment; he doesn’t for one second think that the angels simply let him go.
No one stops him from entering the hall, but after three steps it’s like he ran into an invisible wall and he can’t move on. He’s inside just far enough to see what’s going on, even though his vision is obscured by a couple of angels standing in his line of sight.
He can’t see Dean, for example, but he can see part of an angel he recognizes as Dean’s personal guard whenever he’s up here. Castiel he can’t see either, until he speaks and Jimmy realises he was looking in the wrong place: for once, the New God isn’t sitting on this throne but standing beside Sam at the bottom of the stairs.
Jimmy only knows Sam is there because he can see one wing behind the angel right in front of him.
“… no point in denying it,” Castiel’s voice is ringing through the hall just now. As always, it makes Jimmy shiver to hear his own voice like that, vibrating with power and yet strangely empty. “We know you have found more of the weapons than you handed over to us. You will tell us where the remaining ones are hidden.”
“Fuck you,” Dean replies, much to the shock of the surrounding angels, and much to Jimmy’s shock as well. He doesn’t even know what this is about, but he knows Sam will pay the price for whatever Dean did wrong and that Dean can’t possibly want that. “Your buddy Balthazar has hidden them damn well - that’s why I haven’t handed them in yet. The easiest way to find them would be simply to ask him - but, oh, I guess you didn’t think that far when you killed him, did you?”
Jimmy frowns, not understanding what that was about. But the New God ignores the open accusation and just says, “The hiding places are magically protected. I can feel the disturbance when the protection is broken. One for every weapon in that spot. Six protections broken - four weapons handed in.” He turns away and the angel in front of Jimmy moves a little, allowing him to see Sam.
Like last time, he’s hanging in chains from a ceiling so high it’s invisible, and his upper body is still naked. The symbol burned into this skin stands out like a stigma for all to see. His black eyes are fixed on Dean and ignore everyone else in the hall, including the God right beside him.
He doesn’t look good, but then he hasn’t looked good in a long time. What Dean must think when he sees his brother’s greyish skin and bloodshot eyes, Jimmy can only guess.
“You will get a chance to hand over the objects afterwards,” the New God says graciously. “This is a warning.” And when the other angel in Jimmy’s way steps aside, Jimmy can see the knife in Castiel’s hand.
It looks ordinary enough: a short, old knife with a worn handle and no markings that set it apart from every other old, ordinary knife. But there’s a curse coming from Dean’s direction and Sam goes pale when he sees it. Then he closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them again they are set on his brother and as calm and collected as before.
“You recognize this, of course,” the New God says to Dean. “I believe it is hard, even for you, to forget the weapon you killed your brother with.”
Now it’s Jimmy’s turn to gasp, but no one pays attention to him. He becomes aware again of just how little he knows about the boy king and his second in command.
“I trust you know what this means?” the New God goes on, sounding disconcertingly like a school teacher. “Since this is the weapon that killed Sam, it is the only one that can permanently harm him.” As if to underline his words, he sets the knife to Sam’s upper arm and cuts his skin; Jimmy sees the blood that immediately runs down his arm and drops to the floor, soon after joined by the blood from a second cut a few inches above the shackles around Sam’s wrists.
“These cuts are harmless, but they will never heal.” Jimmy doesn’t know if this is supposed to be a reminder for Dean or an explanation for everyone else. “Keep that in mind when you make your decision - if you continue to work against me, I will next cut off one of Sam’s ears. After that I will start with his fingers.” He crooks his head in the way Castiel always did - a gesture Jimmy never consciously did himself that looks alien on his body. “Where are the weapons, Dean?”
“Dean doesn’t have them,” Sam suddenly speaks up. “Do you really think he’d be so stupid to hide them from you if you have a hostage?”
“Yes, I do,” the New God says without batting an eye. “Because Dean has a history of not thinking things through.” After a second of silence he adds, as if in an odd and completely out of place attempt to comfort his prisoner, “He simply did not consider the consequences of disobeying me. It’s impossible to imagine he wanted you to come to harm. And now be quiet - any further words and I will cut out your tongue.”
Sam looks like he’s going to ignore that threat and Jimmy’s heart sinks to his stomach. But before Sam can provoke the New God into doing something Jimmy really, really doesn’t want to see, Dean yells, “Okay, alright, I’ll tell you, you fucking asshole!”
“Dean!” Sam snaps and Jimmy swallows, but the New God merely smiles.
“I knew you would,” he says.
+*+*+
“Do I get this right? You wanted him to maim you?” Jimmy asks, exasperated, when he takes care of Sam’s cuts later and Sam is still steaming with anger at his brother. “Because even I don’t believe he wouldn’t have done it.”
“Of course he would have done it,” Sam says exasperatedly. “He would have had to. But that’s not the point! Dean can’t just let every decision be influenced by his need to protect me. Do you have any idea how many messes he created just because of that? How can I trust him to do what he has to do when I always have to worry he’ll throw everything away just because someone pulls a gun on me?”
Jimmy doesn’t think this is a very good argument, or a very healthy world view. But maybe being a king in Hell changes the perspective. In any case, he would have appreciated if Sam didn’t move around so much, because it makes stitching him up very hard.
“So, you wouldn’t have tried to protect Dean is your roles were reversed?” he asks.
Sam glares at him in irritation. “Only if the circumstances allowed it,” he says. Jimmy doesn’t believe him for a second. But he says nothing and concentrates on his work instead.
The cuts are pretty deep, and even though an hour or so has passed, the bleeding hasn’t lessened in the least. Jimmy supposes the New God was right about the wounds not healing. It makes him feel slightly sick when he thinks about it, and somehow it doesn’t help that Sam doesn’t seem to care that he might be blessed with two bleeding wounds in his left arm for the rest of eternity.
Maybe Castiel will heal them when he’s back to normal again. Jimmy can only hope that’s actually possible.
“So, Dean killed you?” he asks, aiming for a conversational tone. He’s trying to distract Sam from the pain of the stitches, but he’s also trying to satisfy his own curiosity.
On closer observation, Sam doesn’t really seem to need distracting. But at least he’s forthcoming with information this time.
“Yes.”
“Yes? That’s it?”
“That’s all you asked.”
Sam is in a bad mood because of Dean’s decision not to let his nose get cut off. Jimmy can totally get behind that.
“You act like my daughter when she was five,” he says. “Why did he kill you? I can’t imagine he did it for fun, especially with both of you bound for Hell.”
“Actually, I wasn’t bound for Hell at that time. I don’t think Dean would have done it otherwise.” Sam’s voice is softer now, his anger apparently forgotten. When he realises that Jimmy is eager for an explanation, he offers it willingly. “I was insane,” he says with a shrug. “Completely out of touch with reality. My mind was trapped in the memories of Lucifer’s cage and there was no hope of me ever getting better. Dean didn’t want me to suffer any longer, so he killed me. Afterwards he slit his own throat.”
It sounds easy the way Sam tells it; just a statement of facts, no hint of the suffering and desperation that have driven a good man to murder and suicide. “Then why aren’t you in Heaven?”
“Because I wouldn’t go without Dean. I actually waited for him, outside my body, with a reaper basically tapping his foot in impatience.” He smiles at the memory thought it doesn’t seem all that funny to Jimmy. “But Dean committed fratricide and then suicide - two pretty big sins, and Castiel wasn’t so big on forgiveness at that time. He stuck to the old rules, ignored circumstances… later he showed up himself and made it very clear that there was nothing he could do for Dean’s soul. Examples, I guess. He had to strengthen his position as ruler of Heaven, after all, so exceptions were out of the question, and on top of that he was pretty pissed at Dean. So Dean stayed on earth as a ghost rather than move on to his final destination, and I stayed with him.”
It’s the longest speech Sam has given since getting here, and Jimmy is determined to make use of his talkative mood. “You were ghosts? Is that how you ended up in Hell as well? Because you turned into angry spirits and slaughtered random victims?”
“No. With me being the way I am, Hell had a certain… pull on me. Also, I was going insane again because it was my soul, not my mind that was damaged. So there was the choice of either sticking around and eventually losing it and being pulled down to Hell again, or going to Heaven without my brother.”
He says it like that was a no brainer. But Jimmy once turned down paradise for a potential eternity of being prisoner in his own body in order to protect his daughter, so he isn’t really one to judge Sam’s choice insane.
Though that insanity he mentioned might have had a certain influence on his decision. After all, being a vessel to a moderately nice angel isn’t the same as eternal torture in Hell.
“So when you went to Hell in the end…?”
“Dean came with me,” Sam confirms.
“And then you just became king?” Jimmy asks doubtfully.
Sam merely shrugs. “I was kind of predestined for it. Also, Dean and I, we’re only ruling a tiny little corner, and we pick our followers very carefully, since demons have a tendency to stab you in the back.” He says it with a smirk as if there’s a private joke in there that Jimmy doesn’t get.
“Still. It’s an unusual career choice for the good guys,” Jimmy says uncertainly.
“Just consider us good demons, then. We don’t even have racks in our territory. And we don’t possess people.”
“Even on earth?” Jimmy frowns, confused. He once heard that Sam and Dean Winchester appeared to someone in their old shapes, but short of them possessing their own corpses, he doesn’t see how that would work. “How is that possible?”
“Demons are, in the end, nothing but ghosts,” Sam explains. “Depending on the ghost, they sometimes are pretty damn material as well. Especially if they don’t know they’re dead. We’re merely copying the method.”
“So you would pass for living people on earth?” That does sound a little unlikely now.
“Mostly.”
Jimmy has a lot more questions about this but Sam seems distracted, and he realises that this conversation is over. Still, it served to make him like this demon a little more.
Or rather, to make him feel less bad about liking him anyway. Disliking Sam somehow was never on the menu, even though he tried.
*+*+*
Neither of them knows it at the time, but right after Dean’s second visit would be the last significant conversation Jimmy has with Sam. Afterwards, he gets summoned to the New God and spends an indefinable amount of days as his vessel on earth. He doesn’t know what happens in that time - as usual, the New God keeps Jimmy’s own consciousness far under and the next thing he is aware of is being back in his Heaven and for all he knows no time has passed at all.
Time doesn’t matter there, so it takes a while before he begins to wonder why he hasn’t been summoned to Sam for so long. Usually, he’s pulled back out of his own paradise automatically in more or less regular intervals, but this time nothing happens for so long Jimmy actually finds himself beginning to worry.
In his Heaven, it is hard to remember that Sam even exists. The place is designed to keep away all worries. But a nagging voice at the back of his mind won’t leave him alone; a kind of expectation that is never fulfilled.
By the time he finally is called back, Jimmy appears in the usual spot with a feeling of dread.
The feeling is justified. The New God, he learns from an angel coming to pick him up, has left the building - in the literal rather than the figurative sense. Castiel is busy somewhere, doing something. He obviously isn’t on earth, since he doesn’t need his vessel, but he’s caught up in some serious matters and can’t take care of his prisoner anymore. Therefore, the responsibility for Sam has been transferred to Dameal.
Jimmy feels sick when he hears that, though the angel who tells him doesn’t seem to think much of it. In the time since Dameal burned his sigil into Sam’s skin, Jimmy learned a bit more about him. He knows this is one of the angels who used to follow Michael and later Raphael and converted to Castiel’s side out of fear rather than loyalty. He also knows that he hates demons with a passion and hates Sam more than anything because he averted the apocalypse and is responsible for Michael ending up in Lucifer’s cage.
For a moment Jimmy wonders if Castiel wants to get rid of this one for good, because he keeps giving him opportunities to do things to Sam Dean will kill him for.
Apparently, Dameal was not of the opinion that Jimmy was needed until now. The human soul dreads what state Sam might be in when he finally get to see him. He’s pretty sure the New God would not appreciate his hostage dying on them, but short of that, anything is possible.
Jimmy wants to get to Sam’s cell, but he’s taken to the great hall instead. It confuses him only until he is led to the throne, where the angel accompanying him steps away to take care of other business he has.
The throne is empty, as expected. There are some other angels present, doing whatever they do in this place whenever Castiel isn’t holding court. They don’t pay attention to Jimmy and Jimmy isn’t paying attention to them; his attention is immediately taken by the chains hanging down from the impossibly high ceiling. The ones that are never there if they aren’t needed.
He finds Sam at the end of them. He’s kneeling on the ground beside the pedestal of the throne because the chains don’t leave him another choice. His hands are no longer bound loosely in front of his body but tightly, wrist to elbow, on his back, forcing him to bend over. And his wings…
His wings have been tied with iron clips that are fastened around the bones and pierce the black, leathery skin between them. These clips are also attached to chains and hold the wings completely unfurled and pulled upwards in a way that somehow reminds Jimmy of a pinned butterfly on display. His stomach turns when he remembers how sensitive they are, flinching away from even the lightest of touches.
“He nearly killed two angels before they managed to restrain him,” the angel that accompanied Jimmy said, not without grudging respect, before he left. Jimmy can well imagine Sam doing that.
Now Sam is still, kneeling with his head bend and his face hidden by his hair. Jimmy’s heart races when he runs over to him.
Absurdly, he feels the need to apologize.
Only after a second does Jimmy realise that Sam also is naked, adding further to the humiliation of being put on display like this. The only things he’s wearing are the chains and the bandages around the stitched wounds in his arm. They’re soaked with blood now - fresh blood, even days or however long it was after receiving the wounds.
Jimmy knows he’s here because he’s supposed to do something for Sam, but he can’t for the figurative life of him imagine what.
Sam flinches every so slightly when Jimmy touches him, but that’s all the reaction he gets out of the demon before he gently places his hands under his chin and lifts his head to he can look at his face.
As expected, Sam is conscious, because unconsciousness exists in this place just as little as sleep does. More small mercies that are taken from Sam - though Jimmy doesn’t even know if he sleeps in Hell.
He’s pale - paler than he was before, though Jimmy hardly thought that possible. Dark, bruised looking rings circle his eyes and his colourless lips are flecked with dried blood. Even his black eyes seem dull as he blinks at Jimmy.
“Hey,” he breathes.
It’s not quite the greeting Jimmy expected. In fact, he didn’t expect any greeting at all. And he doesn’t know what to say in return, because ‘How are you?’ seems to be a pretty silly question at the moment.
“Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks instead, and to his surprise, Sam answers immediately, as if he’d just waited for someone to finally offer.
“Water,” he whispers roughly.
Water it is, then. Jimmy carefully lets Sam’s head sink down again and stands, looking around. Of course, no water basin randomly opens up to offer him a cup. In fact, he doesn’t remember ever having seen water before in this place. No one actually ever needs it here.
In his own Heaven, he’d know where to get water. The water tab in the kitchen, for example. But it’s not like he can go there by choice, and even if he could, he doesn’t know it he could take anything out of it but himself.
So he leaves Sam, hard as it is, and goes searching. The angels he asks only look at him as if he had a second head growing out of his chest and obviously don’t know what to make of the question. Jimmy leaves the great hall and runs around outside, but he only gets lost in the corridors and always ends up back in front of he hall. Even Sam’s cell seems to be gone. Maybe it is.
There’s nothing he can do except return to Sam and tell him as much.
“It’s not like you can die of thirst here,” he tries to offer as consolation.
“No,” Sam croaks. “But I can feel like it.”
Jimmy winces. So much for comfort.
He does his best to fight down his own despair. This isn’t the Heaven he always believed in. And these aren’t the angels he sacrificed his humanity for.
What he can do for Sam is change the dressing of his wounds. The next bandages will be soaked soon enough, too, but with the stitches the cuts aren’t bleeding as badly as they did before and at least the bandages will keep the blood from running down Sam’s body and tickling him on top of everything else.
Unfortunately, due to the way his arms are bound, getting the old bandages off and applying new ones is awkward and inevitably causes Sam more pain.
In the end, Jimmy sits and keeps him company, trying to distract him as much as he can. Then, one second to the next, he’s standing in his yard watering the flowers and watching four-years-old Claire run about playing with the doll she got for her birthday.
+*+*+
After that, things go from bad to worse so quickly Jimmy can hardly keep up. He’s taken to Sam only every once in a while, and every time Sam seems to be weaker. Once, Jimmy can only watch helplessly as Sam is once again thrown around by some kind of seizure - just like he has seen before, in the cell. Only this time, Sam is bound tightly and his wings are pierced, and he’s inevitably causing himself even more pain.
The next time Jimmy sees him he’s not seizing, but he also doesn’t speak and sneers at the human when he tries to change the bandages that are once more soaked with blood. Another day, he’s fighting his bonds regardless of the pain he causes himself, his eyes wild but unseeing as he calls out in a language Jimmy doesn’t understand. One of the words sounds like “Dean”. A couple of angels stand by and watch, and Jimmy realises with a sinking feeling that Sam has finally snapped under the pressure of his captivity and the alienness of his place.
However, one day later Sam is calm again, recognizing him and talking coherently. Still, there is something in the way his eyes won’t quite focus that tells Jimmy that his sanity isn’t going to last.
All this is taking its toll on him. He has been here for a long time, without sleep or any kind of comfort, chained naked in a public spot to further humiliate him, in a place that makes him sick. Even without the torture - Jimmy really doesn’t have it in him anymore to call it anything else - any normal person would have snapped long ago. In the face of all the things he’s been put through since coming here, Jimmy couldn’t help admiring this man, demon or not. It’s painful, now, to watch him break.
Then the time comes when Dean is summoned again. Castiel is back and in charge, with Dameal standing somewhere in the background, one eye on his bound victim, the other on his God. Jimmy arrives in the hall before Dean does, and he tries to plead with Castiel the moment he sees him. He wants his angel to put an end to this, to put Sam back in his cell, where he’s as safe as a demon can be in Heaven. But the New God ignores his pleas. All this actually happens for a reason, he tells his vessel, generous as he is these days. Dean is taking his sweet time with his task, stalling as an act of rebellion, the New God says. Making his brother suffer constantly shall inspire him to hurry. Regardless Dean is still taking his time showing up here and he also missed to report back to the angels about his progress. It is time, now, to remind him what is at stake.
Jimmy doesn’t know what that will come down to, but he has seen Sam’s earlier punishments. And he doesn’t know, weakened as he already is, how Sam can possibly handle another permanent injury.
So he summons all his courage and steps up to the throne, in front of all the angels and a demon who might not even hear. “Please,” he says, bowing his head but keeping his eyes on Castiel’s face. His own face. “Have mercy. He’s just a boy.”
“He is a demon and far older than you can imagine,” the New God replies. “Hell created him.”
“He’s a child!” Jimmy snaps. “He didn’t have thirty years on earth! And he doesn’t deserve this.”
“Do not question my judgement!” The New God shoots back, his tone calm but his voice like thunder. “And do not try my patience.”
The last bit is added almost as an afterthought, but Jimmy senses, instinctively, that it’s time to retreat. Castiel doesn’t take well to critique these days. He sees it as betrayal, and traitors can hope for no mercy.
The New God probably won’t destroy him, since he needs him as a vessel. But then, maybe he will. Maybe he’ll just take another vessel, one that’s female and so much younger…
It was, perhaps, the parental instincts in Jimmy that made him step up there. It’s the father in him that makes him step down.
He tries to get closer to Sam, see if he’s even aware of what’s going on around him, but angels block his way and Jimmy is almost certain they do it on purpose.
The dread nearly kills him, figuratively speaking, with every second the doors remain closed and Dean refrains from entering. Eventually, even the angels begin to get restless. When finally the doors open Jimmy flinches, but it’s only an angel in a black suit who runs up the steps to the New God and whispers something in his ear.
If the New God is surprised by whatever he hears, he doesn’t show it. He doesn’t even blink but calmly stands and announces, “The demon Dean Winchester is in hiding. He has wilfully ignored a direct order to appear here. The punishment of his brother, the boy king, will be doubled and executed in his absence. Make sure the demons learn of it.”
Jimmy nearly wails in desperation when he hears the words. When two angels take his arms and usher him out of the hall before the show starts, he is almost glad.
*+*+*
The next time Jimmy sees Sam, the boy is in a pitiful state. He’s covered in bruises that already look old, which either means he heals quickly even in Heaven or that he hung here, on his own, for a long time.
The injuries, by and large, look superficial and upon fleeting observation, Jimmy can’t find anything worse. It’s not reassuring. There are a hundred things the angels could have done to Sam that are not obvious on first sight.
As always, Sam is conscious, but it takes awhile for his eyes to focus on Jimmy. His lips are once again dry and flecked with blood.
“Dean…” Sam groans, softly. Jimmy’s heart sinks and he sets to tell the kid that he’s not Dean when Sam starts again and manages, “Something’s wrong with him.”
Jimmy thought about that as well, and judging by what he saw of Dean since this whole mess started, he believes Sam might be right. “He would have come if he could,” he says.
“So he can’t,” Sam agrees. “Something’s wrong. He’s in trouble.” He looks at Jimmy and for the first time in ages, his black eyes are clear again. “You have to help me get out of here.”
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