I have to realize that when I miss him, it's usually more than just him that I miss. I grieve over the loss of love from an unavailable parent. I want him to be different, and I want to show him that It is possible, just like i believe somewhere that my parents can be different and give me the love I crave so much, only I know that it is not ( Read more... )

INTUITION ( Read more... )

A Book Of Music
by Jack Spicer Coming at an end, the lovers
Are exhausted like two swimmers. Where
Did it end? There is no telling. No love is
Like an ocean with the dizzy procession of the waves' boundaries
From which two can emerge exhausted, nor long goodbye
Like death.
Coming at an end. Rather, I would say, ( Read more... )

back to Bethlehem, PA

=

back to sanity
back to independence
back to peanut butter and cereal
back to the heart
back to people
back to dancing
back to life

the end.

I feel like i am waiting for something or standing at the precipice of something important. Am I being intuitive or overly optimistic/bored?

For some reason ( Read more... )

I am building myself up, but I am not filling the destruction you've left behind quite yet. I feel like you knocked a bunch of bricks out of my foundation, and now I am picking them up and putting them on top of what was already standing. Perhaps one day I will be ready to have someone cement away the gaping hole you left in my trust and self ( Read more... )

I thought i knew what heartbreak was, but I don't think I really knew it until now. It's not just heart break-- it's concept-break, stability-break, sense-break, and esteem-break. It's happiness-break, love-break, security-break, trust-break, and plan-break. It's a chaotic mess of feelings and sparks of anger and hurt and betrayal. It's a desperate ( Read more... )

Do you think it's better to end a relationship in the most efficient way or the most humane way?

Despite all of the awful ways you've treated me at the end, I still really miss you. I really miss us and everything that we stood for and everything that we were to me. I am so sorry that you didn't have the same wonderful experience as I did. To me, we were close to perfect, and even all of our imperfections were on the path of improvement and ( Read more... )