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"I speak of a clinical depression that is the background of your entire life"
"A background of anguish and anxiety, a sense that nothing goes well, that pleasure is unavailable and all your strategies collapse" -Leonard Cohen ( Read more... ) -
"Ambivalence is a wonderful tune to dance to, it has a rhythm all it's own" - Erica Jong
It's been a mixed day. My doctor has increased my dosages up to the max, so I'm going to have a rough couple of weeks but it should improve things in the long run. She's also let me replenish my Z drug stash with some more 7.5mg zopiclone, so that should at least make it easier to get through things if I have those to help. I always feel horrible ( Read more... ) -
5:37am
This is becoming a pattern ( Read more... ) -
4:45am
Smoked up for the first time in about 8 years tonight. It helped. I haven't felt this calm and still since way before things became such a challenge. I really don't wamt to make a habit of it, but my gods it made things better.
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Self-Indulgent emo trite.
Well hello Livejournal. It's been a long time since we last spoke, I'm surprised to find you're still here ( Read more... ) -
I'm special
Ok, how is it after... what, 18 years of education that I still don't seem to've figured out that leaving essays until the night before they're due in is a horrible, horrible idea?! XD Maybe I'm just stupid. XD Of course it's a night that I'm suddenly feeling really creative as well, so I have a one-shot on the go and I really want to paint, which ( Read more... ) -
Uni ramblings of the incoherent, 3am variety.
Hmm, I can't sleep... why is it that when I need to be asleep, I'm wide awake but can't focus on work, yet when I'm actually meant to be working all I want to do is sleep? I guess I could make a start on some 'research' for the project I'm doing at the moment. I'm doing 3,000 words on the representation of women in rock music, which causes all ( Read more... ) -
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I can't quite believe that the low fat cookery show I'm watching is sponsored by a weight loss drug, what's wrong with the world?? I swear the tv is determined to ruin my attempts to be healthy XD -
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It's been such a long time since I posted anything, I guess I abandoned this in an attempt to stop being such an emo in public lol. I don't know what to post about now I've started! I'm back to Uni full-time now, which is tiring but so good after so long doing nothing at all, I'm now halfway through my second year and suddenly doing pretty well. 68 ( Read more... ) -
Just a little update
Managed to be in uni 2 hours earlier than I needed to be because I didn't know we had a guest speaker instead of a lecture today, lucky for me Annette was here anyway so I won't miss it because it sounds like it's going to be interesting. I've got therapy at 12:30 and then a 2 mileish walk to the doctors for a double appointment.... it's going to ( Read more... )