Things get so complicated! I dunno, I dunno what to even say. I have tons of RAGE that I  want to take out and someone in particular is forcing me to my breaking point!

I hate life, Things keep getting worse when I am trying to make it better. I hate it I have anxiety attacks all the time. I got diagnosed with PTSD. I got an eviction notice. Hopefully it won't go through and I can get the funding to pay for it. I am jobless and I am pretty much hopeless. I don't have the strength not to hurt myself but I have a ( Read more... )

    I feel lost! I don't know what to do anymore! I don't have control over my life! Today is the day io go down hill. I don't want to deal with anyones shit. I am stupid, the dumbest person I know. I depend on other people and what they say which is stupid. I probably did lose my job because I thought I would be able to go to the ENT this week and ( Read more... )

I have been going crazy with all the stress in my life. Sometimes i just don't know if I can survive with everything that goes on. My friends seem distant and i don't think they really care about me anymore. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am afraid to live the next day, afraid of something worse happening. I still wake up and try but it's ( Read more... )

I am not sure what to think anymor or handle certain situations. My internal stress levels are extremely high and I feel like they can explode at anytime. Its scary! When I say explode I don't mean anger. I feel as if i am going to go into a break down. I don't know how i can handle all of it! I feel like I am juggling everything and I have to fix ( Read more... )

    I am so glad Cole is back, but its kind've weird. I have forgiven him, but I am always wondering if he lives again if he will come back. I trust him and I love him. The last 24hrs has been wonderful, but I have felt awkward and weird. Its like nothing has changed at all, and I don't know where we stand so that makes me feel awkward. I want to ( Read more... )

    I have never felt so numb before! Out of no where I start to cry, a depression came over me. At first I thought it was because I miss Cole, but there was no emotion attatched to the crying. I felt like a zombie and I couldn't be in the apartment any more. I felt dead as I walked.
    I went somewhere I could look at the stars and be free and ( Read more... )

I love my new outlook on life! Work was the best thing today because I never once got yelled at by a customer and I even stayed for extra hours. I love this! Its amazing ( Read more... )

So I have been alone the last few days and I have been fine. I have learn to live with myself with or without mistakes. I can't avoid my problems but I shouldn't bring ohters around me down because of it. I can't expect to be helped if I don't try to help myself! I miss Cole but I know this is good for us! Without him in Spokane I realized how much ( Read more... )

I feel lost in this world. Nothing makes sense. I feel as if no one can understand the depth of how I feel. My life is hectic and I stress is getting to me. I become afraid of reality and afraid of what will happen next. I am bringing this negative energy around me and I want it to stop. I am sick, I hate my job, Cole and i don't understand each ( Read more... )