i woke up with pink paint spattered on my naked torso, not knowing how it got there. perhaps it has something to do with the epic dream i had last night about candy bars & loose teeth & the marketing thereof. clotilde's got a ticket. ten days ten days.

you wish you had my girl. hot damn.

right. so ( Read more... )

we meet again, gentle friends. did you really think i would abandon you, just like that. oh no, i'm no deadbeat father, & all my child-support payments are up to date. i'm going to slowly peel back some days here, not all of them, just the most important parts. the big stuff. the huge stuff, so big i can barely fit it in my brain.

( peel slowly. be careful not to rip out any hair. expose the wound, festering at the edges. infect! infect! )

confidential to max: i broke into your house. sorry, dude.

so i finally caved and joined that whole "myspace" thing, mostly to keep in better touch with my sister. little did i know that over the weekend i would be featured in the "cool new people" section and go there this morning to find something like 350 comments in my inbox and about 450 friend requests. i keep getting messages from 15 year old ( Read more... )

can anybody tell me what the phrase "knuck if you buck" means?

what i'm learning about: movement of ocean waves, addiction to television, displacement of space, containment of space, the mounting fossil fuel crisis, the melting of the polar ice caps, the value/beauty of being quiet, that people are way easier to talk to than i ever thought, that i shouldn't necessarily talk to someone just 'cause it's easy, ( Read more... )

this weekend i rode around in a ricketty red rv camper that, when you flushed the toilet in the back, would just dump all your poo onto the street ( Read more... )

theres nothing i love more in this world than a bald, booshy-moostachio-ed, middle aged white guy wearing a solid-colored polo shirt, chinos, and white new balances. honestly, is there a man woman or child on this earth that doesnt love that guy?

a plethora of well-being to you and yours.