A poll on crying

[van]

Based on a conversation I had with a friend last weekend, I bring you a poll on crying. I have set this poll up to be as anonymous as possible, meaning people can't click to see who voted what, so I ask that you vote honestly and not how you think you "should" vote, or whatever. I realize this is not going to be conclusive of anything more than

Comments

[kindkit]

To me it largely depends on the reason. And it's not so much the seriousness of the reason as whether I think they're crying to be manipulative. I have no problem with anyone crying at a sad movie, or for that matter a happy-to-tears movie. On the other hand, students used to cry in my office over bad grades, and sometimes it pissed me off because I felt like they were crying tactically so as to weasel a pity grade.

I'm often embarrassed to see other people crying, especially full-on sobbing, but that doesn't mean I think less of them for it. I'm just easily embarrassed.

ETA: I'm a little disheartened that someone has already said sobbing for any reason is unacceptable. Any reason? Seriously? Like, someone's spouse/partner dies and they're not allowed to sob?

[van]

All I can say is that I picked to use "sobbing" over "crying" in this poll for a reason, and I'm curious as to what that word choice will do with the results. I also linked it to a couple of places, so it isn't solely my friends voting, which may bring in some troll votes, though more likely I'm expecting anonymous honesty.

[ltdead]

I would have to say that there's a good chance many of those kids are /not/ trying to manipulate you. At least, in my case, I have a hard time with confrontation. And discussing that's both important to me (like grades) and upsetting (like a /poor/ grade) results in me bursting into tears no matter how hard I try to hold it back.

And I try really, really hard. It's really frustrating and embarrassing to me that I can't discuss these things without looking like an idiot.

[azelmaroark]

Thissss, jesus christ. I have some legit trauma lingering from a 2008 confrontation with a professor about my grade that destroyed my 4.0 last semester of senior year. She was completely insensitive and didn't pick up on what to me was Blatant Issues. To this day I still hate her.

[kathkin]

Depends on the reason - in some situations it would be pathetic for a person of either sex to cry. :P But in a situation where it's acceptable for a woman to cry it is also acceptable for a man to cry.

[lithrael]

I don't see why it can't be both pathetic and acceptable. It's kind of pathetic by definition most of the time; there aren't a lot of situations where crying is badass.

[famira]

I guess overall I'm uncomfortable with seeing crying at all? And I say this as a kind of blubberer myself (as in I'll start tearing up at any kind of confrontation and it's like this uncontrollable reaction - it's embarrassing, because I feel like it's a sign of weakness on my part and it also could look like crocodile tears, except it's not :( ). I do think reason is important, but I think just the...openness of it to me makes me uncomfortable. Like it's scary in how open the act of it is? I'm not sure if I'm making sense.

[famira]

Are you me :( Except I don't even have the foresight to try to escape, I just kind of sit there feeling it coming and being paranoid the person I'm talking to will think I'm trying to manipulate them and then that just makes me even more nervous. I'm just like, I don't know why it's happening, it just DOES.

[ltdead]

I'm the exact same way - along with the 'hiding in the bathroom' thing telegramsam mentioned.

[alk]

Personally I hate crying, myself - I always have, and avoid it where possible - but I think people should be allowed to cry (or sob) for whatever reason. Emotions are hard to control and in a tense or negative situation, someone should be allowed to display those emotions however they see fit. While I don't always agree with manipulation (crying vs. sobbing), but nobody's perfect.

[kindkit]

I don't always agree with manipulation (crying vs. sobbing)

Wait, sobbing implies manipulation somehow? I don't get it. To me, sobbing is just particularly intense/uncontrollable crying.

[alk]

I should clarify.

Sometimes it can be used for manipulation (usually by children) but that isn't the case all the time. I didn't mean to imply that sobbing was entirely a kind of manipulation.