:(

sooo tonight for some weird reason i had a strange awakening.. ive never felt the way i do about chris about anyonw before.. and tonight when i was hanging out with justine and her 2 guy friends and chris left i felt like a part of me left.. and i didnt want to be there anymore.. like wtf. ya i wanted to be with justine but i needed chris.. and ( Read more... )

it sucks when you feel like the only thing thats was constant in your life feels like a lie. :[

so i had a pretty cool weekend... friday: me and shannon fupa went to the mall and hung out then chris got home and i went to his house and we were bored like usual so we went and got juice from juice it up cause his friend casey at work gave him like 6 free juice cards.. so then we decided to get drunk and go to the football game.. it was trabuco ( Read more... )

i have to get up in 6 hours :[ im so not looking forward to that... but ANYWAY ive been really testy lately.. like i have NO tolerance whatsoever for stupid people and their stupid brains. even my sister is making me mad by doing little things like jumping on the couch when im sitting on it or other things.. usually im not an angry person.. maybe i ( Read more... )

soooo i keep having these crazy dreams about chris.. in all of them hes dying.. one of them he drowned.. then last night i had this dream that really got to me for some reason.. in my dream chris died.. i think in a car crash of something.. and i was doing alright like it had been a few days and i hadnt cried and i felt ok..like i was going to be ( Read more... )

i cant believe its been a whole year. wow... fuck haha

What greater thing is there
for two human souls,
than to feel that they are joined for life
to strengthen each other
in all labor,
to rest on each other
in all sorrow,
to minister to each other
in all pain,
and to be with each other
in silent, unspeakable memories.

George Eliot

1 week until one year! oh joy...

ew.

i dont even know where to begin right now. or why i feel this way. i hate everyone. its not even that time of the month or anything like that. i just fucking hate the world right now. everyone i know is irritating me. i dont want to talk to anyone or be around anyone. i dont want to talk to justine. i cut things off with kayla... i dont want to ( Read more... )