i've been going to the gym everyday for about 3 hours and i've been eating minimal. i'm planning to keep this up for the rest of the break and hopefully past (depending how busy i get... today i had a pce of toast, two of those wheat thin crackers, some ice cream (god i know.... ) and an apple. i think thats pretty good considering i went to the ( Read more... )

no one understands and no one cares. no one. if i died tonight. no one would even notice at school tomorrow. after a week news would trickle out. rumours would start: 'robin killed herself' 'drug overdose' 'shot herself in the dead' jumped off a building' 'drowned herself'... no one would really care. i would jsut be the story of the month. then a ( Read more... )

I'm getting so fucking fat. WHY CANT I JUST STOP FUCKING EATING. i just want to sit at home, play my music really loudly, read psychology books, do drugs, sleep, watch tv, hang out with freinds and go on the computer; FOREVER. I am failing at school more and more everyday. why do i even bother.

all i can say is: i love rent. with a passion. yes, i must admit, i am a harsh musical junkie... seriously, for me, a good musical is like better than being drunk (especially the experience i had last night, sick for the first time, VERY embarassing... w/e I GOT AN IPOD NANO. and saw rent. and i saw max at the mall and he smiled and waved!) other ( Read more... )

i've been getting better with my artwork. My subject mater has shifted from drawing waif thin women to waif thin women who are dead... not saying i want to die, its just... it all seems so peacefull... Why is it that i never draw smiles? you'd think that my ideal would be to draw these beautiful and thin models who are finally happy, but i think i' ( Read more... )

my weight is starting to go down again :) i'm really hoping that i can make it for AT LEAST the last two weeks of school which will be hard because i've only even been able to keep up one week of restricting. i'm going to allow myself some leeway though ( Read more... )

pretty much i'm failing at life. 75 is spanish, 83 in chem, 79 in physics, etc... School was something i used to be good at. what the fuck is wrong with me. its days like these that make me want do drop out of school and give up. where is my life even going... whats the point. i'm a failure.

just got a call from my school ( Read more... )

I did it . i ate and i didnt binge i only ate as little as i could get away with:) go me. too bad its the holiday season and pretty much everyone i know keeps trying to take me out to dinner. grrrrr.

I think i've done it. i dont want to speak too soon but, i HONESTLY have no craving for food. i dont want it at all. nothing. i'm barely even thinking about it anymore. i'm still hungry but i dont want food. I'm going out to dinner tonight so i guess it'll be the real test. my stomach hurts:) so i have a valid excuse... it probably wont work too ( Read more... )