So the last time I got fucked on pills I swore I wouldn't do it again. The night before last I was so miserable. I really just wanted to go to sleep so I wouldn't have to cry anymore. well...I hadn't been taking my sleeping pills [not really sleeping pills...anti-depressants to help me sleep] so the eight that I hadn't taken I took all at once. I ( Read more... )

Everyday I want to be my last. I fucking hate my life. It sucks when the only person who can really cheer me up is too consumed in their own problems. it hurts. I'll never be good enough for anyone ( Read more... )

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me.

It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

Then post this to your journal.

See what people remember about you...

Here's some writing I did the other night. All three were written in the same night...they're pretty self explainitory..and each one is so different. My emotions right now are so mixed. It's fucking me up. I don't know what's right or what's wrong...or if I'm mad,sad, or what. I think I'd be much more happy if I knew. I can't even say whether or ( Read more... )

Goergina encouraged me do do this. She says I express my feelings best in poetry and since I was having trouble explaining how I felt, I wrote this.

Notion of a Heart
Is it you I want ( Read more... )

Yesterday... The twenty eighth of October...One year ago yesterday I messed up the best friendship. I had planned on talking to her [nicole] Did I? no. I was too chicken shit. I don't have that much courage to confront her. It's like there's a shield between us. I think she remembered too what yesterday was. I also think she knew I wanted to talk ( Read more... )

Here are the plans I thought of last night:

- Text her and have her meet me somewhere [during school]
- call her that morning and have her meet me.
- Stop her in the hallway and talk to her.
- Go to her house after school
- Tell Paul that I want to talk to her and have him set me up.

That's how I would start...Once I choose one of those I have ( Read more... )

For the first time in a while I actually have time to update. A good update like I used to write. Well that's what I'm hoping anyway. Ted and I have been toether for almost three weeks and we've had the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing for a week and one day. Sometimes I have doubts about us. He's great to me. And great excluding the diamond and ( Read more... )

=) Starting with yesterday... Heather and Yvonne came over after school and we went to dance. Heather is joining which is so awesome because I love to dance with her. Everyday in school we dance...especially during lunch. Anyway, then we came home and practiced our dance team dances. That was fun. Around 6 we got ready to go to the movies where Ted ( Read more... )

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