Perception of you

[vastatuuli]

This is something I've been pondering on for a few months.

Poll Perception of you

I use 'better' and 'worse' to represent a scale from good to bad in anything. Whether it's your skill in any activity, your moral/ethical goodness or another quality of your character. It doesn't matter if the scale isn't objective; just pick the most suitable alternative for you

Comments

[vastatuuli]

I chose worse. There are many reasons against it - a good reputation would be to my benefit when taking out a loan, for example, and in the end I wouldn't have to get to know very many people so well that they would know what I'm like in reality. In my personal view, however, close relationships with people are more important. Therefore I'd rather be seen as someone worse than make out to be better and disappoint the people I care about.

[dustofempires]

Woh, this is really difficult.. In fact I'd wish to be seen as I really am; but that's not gonna happen either I guess.
If you'd choose "better", anyone who gets to know you better will be disappointed.. If you'd choose "worse", perhaps no one would want to get to know you..
Interesting question.. But I couldn't answer it myself =)

[vastatuuli]

perhaps no one would want to get to know you

Hmm, good point, though 'worse' doesn't directly mean 'bad'. But I hadn't thought about it! It's a difficult question indeed.

[werdnus]

Oh, there's one more interesting point, beyond what palvana wrote. If you choose "Better" for the quiz, you're making everyone that reads it think you're actually worse than they did before, so you're making them think worse of you. So, than you must want them to think worse of you. So you ought to choose worse. But if you do that, they'll assume that you better than you seem, because you want to seem worse than you are. And that makes you look better to them. So how can you answer honestly

[vastatuuli]

Heh, very true! I tried to be honest and think about this outside the entry and the poll - which I did, having thought about it before saying anything... Well, deep inside everyone knows whether their conscience is clean or not.

It does make sense. I'm not sure if it'd work for me, though... I'd like to seen as good, sure, but I'd also like to be just that good. If someone always expected more and better from me, I'd go mad, though I agree that it'd be efficient self-improvement for a while.

Probably evolutionary, yeah, another good point. I think it could be cultural, too. Modesty is an old Finnish virtue, but we're constantly told by foreigners to show our abilities more. Writing a letter of application (especially if you're applying for a job abroad) can be tricky, because presenting ourselves as incredibly enthusiastic and more than competent workers seems shallow (even when it's true!). I know Americans and Brits are better at marketing themselves. :]

Speaking of verbose... Oops. I do have the knack of rambling too.

[smurfindisguise]

I chose worse. This is difficult to articulate, but I shall attempt to do so concisely

[vastatuuli]

would make me feel more confident because I would be aware of my own ability to succeed where underestimated

Yes! That's a brilliant point, and I agree with you in general. Thank you for sharing that. :]

[gaia_child]

I chose I'd like to be perceived as better. I think people thinking of me as a good person/ talking about me in superlatives, even if they were untrue or too good(?) create good life for me, good vibrations, they would motivate me to set myself 'higher standards' That of course could create an unnecessary tension and a feeling of guilt that I'm not the person they would expect me to be...

But all in all, it doesn't depend on us, how people perceive us... whether we are good or bad... that duality is misleading too, because there are never INHERENTLY good or bad people... Every person has both good AND bad sides of personality, behaviour etc

[vastatuuli]

You're right, the scale isn't as black-and-white as I've made it. I tried to soften it by saying 'better' and 'worse' instead of downright good and bad. But I don't doubt your reasons for a second - you draw your motivation from many places, and that is great.