Ryan is dying. He was the first man other than my brother who I felt loved me. I have my suspicions at this point in my life that it was puppy love but he was my boyfriend through five of the most pivotal years in my youth and during much of that time he was an anchor for me. I wonder if he knows it?

I'd been through so much- 42 surgeries between 2 ( Read more... )

Some thoughts on safety and our nervous system ( Read more... )

One of the things I do for a living is teach people how to manage crisis. Sometimes this elicits the idea that there is a magical answer that will make everything feel better, unfortunately this is just not so. Crisis is another word for Chaos and much like nature is imbued with mystery and cannot be contained with our usual sense of competency. ( Read more... )

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Oh live journal, Ive neglected you. I've had a schedule full of teaching and clients and house chores and I've been arguing most days with my old friend, anxiety. I won't go into all the boring details of why, so much of it isn't even mine- ( grown child with a broken heart, deadlines for taxes and contention between siblings ( Read more... )

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There are places I arrive that make me feel a certain way- connect me with a longing so deep, and so old, it feels as thought it must be an imprint on the very fabric of my being. I think this longing is a collective feeling we are all on intimate terms with, even if what has been evocative is unique to each of us. This place brought that forth and ( Read more... )

The first time I touched a man ( Read more... )

My thoughts are all over the place today and I am full of desire for things....material things. I want to surround myself with beauty, warm things that push winter away ( Read more... )

An important take on the idea we are "broken" and the value of writing in wellbeing. One of the many reasons that journaling is a powerful tool to use in our healing process is that our human stories are so much more complex and dynamic than what our memory story often reveals. Beyond the lens of our basic memory story, there are hundreds of other ( Read more... )