So haven't posted in forever but myspace is taking up most of my online blogging type time. I'm off for California and then Georgia for training so I'll be away from the internet until I can figure out how to set up service there. If anyone wants to add me to their myspace that doesn't have me yet my name is barbwire_lotus. Aloha all.

Steve Irwin is dead, how sad! Didn't always like his shows but you can't fault his passion for animals or for saving them. :-(

Does he think I'm a crack head? Seriously, crying over him or getting so involved that I feel like crying would be about the dumbest thing I could think of to do. I asked him if they were dating, no biggie. But I get the distinct feeling that he's taking it as a big dramatic jealous inquisition. What the fuck ever. Yes I can see where he's ( Read more... )

Haven't updated for a while...guess life has been okay lately. Money issues but then those are always around. That and a lot of revelations between me and P and what the hell is going on with us. Yeah, a bunch of talk to come to the shared conclusion that we don't know what to call us. We're not together, we're not exactly apart. I think if we ( Read more... )

Your Stripper Song Is
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I was outside almost ready to run when I realized my Garmin was completely dead. Argh! I must have left it on by mistake when I downloaded my last couple runs. So now I'm giving it some time to charge up a bit so I can get out there ( Read more... )

I'm exhausted and annoyed and a tiny bit hopeful. Wish the hope would go away and let me wallow damn it, it's easier that way.

I wish they were happening...though some things remain the same no matter how hard you try to change them. Like weaknesses, like shortcomings, like insecurity. Is there really a way to grow past those things? You'd think I'd have figured one out by now. But instead I keep traveling down the same roads thinking there might be something different ( Read more... )

Hey I keep meaning to call you but get side-tracked. I will try this weekend but give me a good time-frame okay? that way we can hopefully FINALLY talk. Miss you girl!

Things with P are okay I guess...it helps that we're in different countries right now. But we're doing the friend thing. Only problem is he still wants to screw me without being in love with me (but loving me, I do know that) and I still want to screw him only if he's in love with me. So yeah, it's a fine line between love and hate, as it always ( Read more... )