Lots of things running around in my head. Couldn't sleep so I researched more grants and learned more about making grant proposals. It's almost 6am now but I feel smarter and I'm not dwelling on personal losses at the moment. I think it's better this way, though it's hard. Looking forward to meeting new people and making fresh starts. Learning ( Read more... )

I feel like a lot of things have been happening that will better my situation and finally give me the chance to help others in a measurable way. I feel like I'm gaining something really good, but at the same time losing something I worked really hard to keep. I have a feeling things with Cyndi won't ever be the same again, and it makes my heart ( Read more... )

I've entered into some new territory, and it's taking some getting used to. I have a project that I've been getting more and more involved in. It's almost like a therapy, I can't explain. I've never done anything like this but it's helping me more than I ever thought possible. I'm anxious for Frank to get here....

So I'm going into a lot of new territory lately, both in my relationship and in my work. Have some very interesting new job prospects that look promising. Did some correspondence with them today and it's looking good. Also began research work on a very big project I'm doing both for to better myself and benefit humanity, which has always been a ( Read more... )

Wrote a long email to my Pee-oh and and tried to sing along with Tool's Vicarious for awhile. I finally read the lyrics and was really impressed. I've always loved Maynards style but this particular song struck me. Here's the lyrics in case anyone cares ( Read more... )

Just woke up with a pretty vivid memory of a disturbing dream I had. It's a little fragmented, but here goes: I try calling an old friend of mine, and when she answers the phone she can't hear me, but I can hear someone else starting a conversation with her. It's another female voice, but there's something odd about it that I can't place. I ( Read more... )

Listening to Tools latest 10,000 days and It rocks in a way I can't put into words. Gotta send this to Joel. And there's no way I'm going to sleep tonight. Been up playing counterstrike online and doing laundry while having obsessive thoughts about the hours to come. Got a bus ticket to the forbidden land tomorrow at 11am it departs. I only ( Read more... )

Cyndi just left a few minutes ago. She and Chloe are headin' to Spencer to visit friends and family. Woulda gone with but couldn't get permission from my pee-oh since he wasn't around the office. She stopped for a couple hours or so and will be back Sunday when she passes through again. I wasn't prepared for how I felt when I saw her again. ( Read more... )

I've been thinking an aweful lot about war and the act of destroying something. I think it may have started when Frank mentioned his intention to join the mercenary unit known as Blackwater. He got the invitation through a guy at his ammunition production job. They applaud the time he spent as a soldier in the US Army and welcome his skills. ( Read more... )

Grrrr.... My weekend with Cyndi has been foiled. How rotten and perverted the world is! I couldn't get my Fiero in good running order but my parents already had plans to visit rapid. Would have worked out perfectly but my dad decides having his furnace fixed on his project house this weekend is more important. They may go next weekend instead, ( Read more... )