Ficspam pt.1
TITLE: Conversations with Muses.
RATING: NC-17
GENRE: Humor/smut/tardness
WARNING: Rape, toys, OOCness. Wishfulfillment. Self-insert.
A/N: This is the cleaned up, spell checked and better worded version of the fic I wrote when I was drunk. In case you are interested in seeing the raw drunken version it's over Here
I tapped my glass to call the meeting to order - actually, not so much a glass as it was a beer bottle, which was made out of glass, and therefore made the same tone, I suspect. Around the living room my muses gave up their individual conversations and turned their strangely resentful eyes in my direction.
"Ahem." I said leaning back comfortably into the couch. "I realize that things have been a bit slow around here, but the problem remains, I gotta produce a fic. Or I'll lose my credentials, you see, and they'll boot me from the internets."
"And this would be a bad thing…" murmured Ed from the loveseat, where he lay looking exhausted and underfed despite the fact that I had both been easy on him and explicitly gave him a meal in the last fic. Ok. Cookies. Cookies have calories. And carbohydrates. Probably some protein in there somewhere too. In the egg. Yeah. Anyway, it's a meal if I say so. >:EEEEE -- oh where was I?
"And that's exactly why we don't like being ficced," said Ed, reading my mind, which of course he could do, being a part of it. "Do you always have to have that attitude with us? You want someone to be nice to you, you gotta be nice to them."
This is sooooo not true. At least it's not true of Muses. To prove the point, I duct taped Ed's mouth so we could continue the meeting. Because obviously no one else was going to object to me. Ever. Right?
"Yes, Ma'am" came the chorus back, just a bit staggered, but generally in line.
Damn straight.
"Okay, folks," I said, moving back to the agenda. "I'm going to do what I've never let you do before. Pitch me some ideas. I'm going to let you decide what I'm going to write." I smiled indulgently at my assembled audience.
"You know," said Al in his slightly echoing, childish, yet still highly pornable, armored voice. "Isn't this the normal job of muses? We tell you what to write, rather than you telling us what to do and then beating us when we complain?"
Two feet of duct tape later the meeting continued.
"Greed," I called out, because he's my pet. Playing favorites is normal in the ficcing department, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And unlike most of my other muses, when it comes to sex, Greed is always enthusiastic to do his part. "Give me a story line. Porn please."
The thin homunculus leaned forward, legs slightly spread, his fingers laced together bridging the gap between his knees. A slow smile unzipped his mouth, and he glanced at me conspiratorially over his small wire rimmed sunglasses. "It should start something like this, I believe..."
~~~~~~~wavy lines of scene change ~~~~~~~~~~
Roy grunted around the thick rubber ball in his mouth. The dungeon was hellishly hot -- a wet steamy heat that made the air almost unbearably thick. His nostrils flared with every harsh breath and sweat dripped from his chin. As hard as he tried he could not free himself from the elaborate metal structure the homunculus had belted him to.
He snorted in a helpless regular fashion, his breathing controlled not so much by the heat, or the ball in his mouth, but by the rhythmic and inescapable penetration. Not the homunculus this time, but some machine he'd concocted, arranged to ream his well-used asshole with the tireless efficiency of a metronome.
Greed slowly drew a pattern across Roy's bare back with the clawed tip of his blackened hand. Then reached down to adjust the machine's pace. Roy grunted quicker.
"Do you love me," he whispered.
Roy nodded. He did. How could he not?
~~~~~~~~~~ wheee~~~~~~~~
"WHAT?" yelled Roy, glowering up at me from the floor. "That's utterly ridiculous. Completely OOC. And not even for me -- I don't think any man in that position would love someone who did that to them."
Greed blew gently across his fingernails. "What can I say, I'm the master of porn. Even you would swoon at me."
"That is utterly untrue," argued Roy. "Completely. Look, I'm heterosexual, and deep in Velvet's mind she knows that, that's why she always has me justifying why the hell I'm sleeping with the entire male cast of this universe. I'm not going to swoon for some guy who's strapped me to a goddamn FUCKING MACHINE!"
"Mmmm," I said. "You know Greed, that's an awfully tempting scenario, but I gotta go with Roy on this, I don't see him falling in love with you because you plow him oh so very well. Tell you what, why don't you work on the details for a bit and get back to me?"
Greed sighed and leaned back, casually draping his arms over the back of the stolen dining room chair. I could see he was somewhat disappointed, but I had faith that he'd eventually get over his sulk and put a bit more nuance into his scheme. He wasn't the kind to give up on something he liked.
I turned then to Roy. "Okay, care to give me your version? I gotta say, you've got stiff competition."
Roy pulled himself into a cross-legged position and began to speak:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuhrer Mustang sat in his office admiring his new digs. The leather chair was quite comfy and the tapestries were very patriotic. Around him were several couches which could be put to good use. Would he be considered a cad if he had a woman waiting on each?
In any regard, the paperwork was done for the day, the war with Drachma was winding up. There was reason for celebration with each report his many generals sent across his desk. They were even considering erecting a monument to him in Central's largest park to commemorate his almost clairvoyant acumen. A war won with almost no casualties -- it was almost unheard of.
Women found the idea of such a savvy leader indescribably attractive, and so he was not surprised at all to see the large double doors to his office gliding open and Riza standing shyly on the threshold. Roy regarded her feminine curves, her large dewy eyes, the way her generous mounds of her breasts made the fabric of her shirt gape between the straining buttons. Of all the women of Amestris, she was the one he'd regretted not sleeping with the most.
"Hawkeye," said Roy gently. "This is unexpected. It's been almost three months since you quit the military. What has brought you back?"
Her eyes flash upward, meeting his for a second, before falling demurely to his rare imported Xingan rug. She turned around to close the doors behind her. Then looked over her shoulder as if seeking his approval.
"Roy," she said, her breasts heaving as if she had difficulty catching her breath. "I have realized that after all these years, I've been a fool."
"Never," Roy demurred, standing up and skirting his desk. The room seemed suddenly far too large.
"I have always wanted to wait until you were ready to pick just one woman to spend your life with. Then I planned to be that woman." Her eyes met his again, this time radiant with passion. "Now I realize I was merely denying my self the pleasures you could have given me."
Roy nodded. "I'm glad you changed your mind," Roy said. He closed with her and held her. Her clothes seemed to dissolve under his fingers and his hands cupped her breasts, feeling their weight and warmth fill the palms of his hands. He breathed against her ear and nuzzled her neck, drawing small bits of her skin up into his mouth and sucking them sweetly. He heard her gasp in excitement, and felt her wanton hands running up and down his powerful back and...
~~~~~~~~~~~ er ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Roy, Roy, Roy," I interrupted. "You've been my muse how long?"
"Almost two years."
"And what have you learned?"
"You don't really want me to answer that question," said Roy suddenly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Roy. I don't do Royai."
"You can always start," he said. His eyes flashed defiantly at me. "Listen you've done just about every other pairing in the universe, why not Royai? She adores me. I ignore her. It's great. It's almost canon! What more could you want?" He raised his eyebrow at me in that condescending way that just demands duct tape.
I resisted. I really do love Roy, every nook and cranny of him. So much so that I want to share that appreciation with everyone else. Even his complaints were somehow pleasant to hear, so I waved Archer and his roll of duct tape away.
"What do I want? Well, more cocks," I said. "Specifically in you."
Ed started making muffled noises. It wasn't his usual screaming which I've learned to tune out. So, against my better judgment I removed the tape from his mouth. His eyes were firey -- I'd say molten but melting eyes is really Ambre's department and I don't want to trample on her territory. "My turn, you bitch. This time I get to tell you what you want."
"What I want," I replied, amused. "This was supposed to be about what you want."
Ed tsked. "You have no interest in writing what we want, but I can spin a story that you'll accept."
"I'm intrigued. Go for it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment smelled delicious. Ed lifted his chin and closed his eyes and set about categorizing the various flavors of wonderful that were wafting about. That was steak, just a bit seared on the outside, but under the char was juicy, fresh meaty goodness, nearly red, and dripping with juice. That other smell, that would be garlic mashed potatoes, made with real butter. And there was the scent of apple pie, cooling in the window waiting for after the lull between satiating dinner, and the need for a bedtime snack.
Hei emerged from the kitchen a moment later, wearing nothing but an apron. His cheeks were flushed and healthy thanks to Edward's recent medical discoveries. Ed ran his eyes up and down his roommates form, admiring how strong and supple his muscles were, and how little the apron actually covered of his backside.
"Was work hard?" Heidrich asked, his voice quiet and respectful, yet with just a hint of eagerness that suggested that he would listen to every word Ed uttered with rapt attention.
Ed smiled. "Yes, but it was worth it. I've discovered a way of activating alchemy circles without the use of copious amounts of blood. Now there is nothing standing in the way of me inventing sustainable and clean steam powered vehicles. Soon smog will be a thing of the past and no one will ever have to suffer the way you have."
"Oh, Ed," gushed Heidrich, rushing forward and throwing his arms around the older man's neck. Ed grabbed his waist and pressed close. He seized Heidrich's mouth, and plied it with sucks and licks until the lips obediently parted in complete surrender. Heidrich moaned into Ed's kisses.
The sound drew all his blood down into his hardening length. Ed groaned and pressed, rubbing his cock into Heidrich's groin. His hand strayed down his partners back to his buttocks. Grabbing them firmly he pushed Heidrich even closer, driving his cock wantonly against Heidrich's groin until the friction of his own clothes began to chafe.
"But what about dinner?" gasped Heidrich, as he came up for air.
"I'll warm it up later," Ed growled into Heidrich's short blond hair. He pulled and Heidrich obediently followed, through the double doors of their elegant penthouse apartment and into the master bedroom. The four-poster dominated the room, its thick mattress, soft as clouds, and covered in warm down blankets. Nothing was too good for Heidrich. Now that Edward's discoveries had made them rich, he planned to lavish the young man with every luxury he'd always wanted but never been able to afford. The glowing appreciation on his face were all the reward Ed needed.
Well that and his ripe body, stretched across said bed. Heidrich flung himself into position eagerly, looking over his shoulder with large blue eyes filled with desire. He wiggled his pert buttocks enticingly. "I'm so horny," he murmured. "Please, I need you. Right. Now."
Ed's heart melted at the sight, even as his prick rose another notch towards the ceiling. It took only a moment to oil himself up. Heidrich's groaned out his need. The moment Ed climbed between his legs, Heidrich was already pressing back, impaling himself before Ed even had a chance to prepare him. Ed bit his lip as the twin sensations of Heidrich's heat around his cock and his pleasured whimper in his ear mixed.
He grabbed Heidrich's hips, and began thrusting, admiring the way Heidrich's back muscles flexed and twitch, and the way his roommate clutched the bedcovers in his fists. "More, Ed, More, I love you Ed," Heidrich called out between breaths.
Who was Ed to deny him --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ahem," I interrupted. "Yeah, well the sex is good, Ed. I'm not so sure about all the wish fulfillment you threw into the backstory. But that's not quite it…"
I pondered. "You know it's just missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it." I looked around the room at my muses for inspiration.
"Me raping Roy?" suggested Greed after the silence had stretched just a bit too long.
I snapped my fingers. "Yes! Thank you. It's missing the part where Roy gets raped."
"WHAT?" Roy cried out. "Now wait a minute -- how the heck would I get raped in a Ed/Heidrich fic? That's not even my world."
"World? That has never stopped me before Roy." I leaned back and considered my options. "There are a hundred ways to skirt a geographical problem."
Roy's mouth dropped. I noticed his arms were no longer crossed but had drifted lower to cup his privates.
"You know what, woman," Roy said after a moment. "I think you are entirely too obsessed with me getting raped. Look you've already done it to me at least a dozen times. Once you took two chapters to describe it in detail. You said it yourself you get bored if something is done to death."
Roy's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. I could see the sweettalking side of him slip into gear, and his irresistible bedroom eyes convey the delights of his plan. "So, I have an idea -- how about WAFF instead. Me. A pretty girl. Consensually. I know you can do it."
"Hmmm... you know what? That does give me an idea..." I brought my beer up for a swig and then smiled...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heidrich tightened the straps holding Roy to the armature. The former Rocketeer's recent transformation from living man to homunculus had not robbed him of his engineering skills, and if he lacked some of his earlier empathy, he really didn't miss it. Pride swelled in him as he admired the simple structure that both bound the Colonel in an entirely helpless position and also rendered him marvelously accessible to whatever sexual mischief anyone cared to indulge in.
Heidrich heard the soft fall of bare feet approaching him from behind. He tensed before he recognized the gait, then turned and smiled his lover.
Edward didn't smile back. The Alchemist rarely did since their deal with the Gate: Heidrich's life, encased and immortal as the embodiment of Pride, for Edward's conscience. A good trade in Heidrich's view, but it did take a lot of the passion out of Edward's temperament.
Edward ignored to Heidrich. Preferring to stare at his former boss with cold golden eyes.
Roy noticed the gaze and turned as well as he could within the structure. "Please, Fullmetal -- Edward. I don't know why you are so angry at me, but whatever it is for, I apologize." Ed was right, pleading did give Roy's voice a certain alluring quality. "Please… help me."
Ed wrapped his arms around Heidrich's waist, bending his head to press his forehead against his lover's shoulder. Heidrich could feel the soft fall of Ed's loose hair against his skin and groaned. He turned to look down at Roy, who had taken the moment to try to squirm out of the armature. It wasn't going to do him any good, but the noise of the chains clanking about was rather distracting, so he gave the man's bare left buttock a good hard swat.
"Settle down," Heidrich said.
Edward let Heidrich go and walked over to Roy's face. He caressed the man's stubbly chin with long fingers. "You won't have to wait too much longer."
"Is he coming?" asked Hei, eagerly. He'd only met their master three times, but had been impressed each time with both his charm and innate manliness. Although the Master was just a homunculus, and not much older than Hei himself, the Earth born Sin still felt a deep respect for him.
"Any minute." Edward said. "We are to prepare his new Concubine, and make him ready and eager to consummate their union. You did a great job strapping him down, now let me take over."
At the word "concubine" Roy's eyes widened and his entire body jerked. Hei laughed. Was it possible that the Colonel didn't know why Emperor Ling had requested his presence specifically in the peace negotiations?
To Roy's obvious consternation, Edward took his time, relishing every step of his duty. He ran clever, well oiled human hands down Roy's flanks, sweeping under his bowed torso to kneed and molest his chest, then moving southward, over the rippled muscles of the mans tense belly to his groin. There he teased Roy's hardening sex with an almost malicious persistence. Poor Roy could do no more than whine and attempt to buck his hips as the armature prevented all but the smallest of movements.
Heidrich smiled. "I love to watch you work."
Finally Ed went for the kill, oiling the channel that soon would be breeched by Master himself. Heidrich stared in fascination as Roy twitched with every thrust of Ed's fingers.
Heidrich sighed. He would like to take Roy himself, right there and now. The look on Ed's face said that his partner wished to do the same, but the both knew better. In a few days their master would turn his eyes to his other concubines, and they would have free reign to do as they liked with this one. The armature could be reused then.
The door to the room opened up once more, taking all temptation away from the two. In walked the Emperor of Xing, draped in silk and jewels. His purple-slitted eyes took in the scene, and he smiled with indulgent pleasure.
"Ah, Roy," he said. "It is good to see that your country has ceded to my authority. You will be happy to know that your sacrifice will keep my armies at bay from its borders for a while."
"How -- how long," Roy grunted out. Even now the man was more concerned about the country he was protecting than his own future.
"Well," said Greedling. "I think for as long as you continue to amuse me."
Roy closed his eyes as the homunculus fondled his hair. Then Ling looked up at Heidrich and Ed. "You've done a good job. You may leave."
Heidrich breathed a sigh of disappointment, he would have liked to see Roy face as the Master fucked him - but there were far too many perks to this job to be too upset over one not offered. He bowed to the Emperor. Edward then took his arm and lead them out, to the sound of Roy's pleasured, tortured screams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy gaped with the letters "W-T-F" clearly written all over his expression. "Pleasured, tortured screams? -- does that make sense to anyone?" He looked around the room at the assembled Muses to see if any of them shared his bewilderment.
Ed leaned over, "Don't bother," he whispered. "Look, she's being distracted by fandom_wank. She probably won't even write the fic."
Roy sighed with relief. "Thank goodness for her short attention span."
THE END!
RATING: NC-17
GENRE: Humor/smut/tardness
WARNING: Rape, toys, OOCness. Wishfulfillment. Self-insert.
A/N: This is the cleaned up, spell checked and better worded version of the fic I wrote when I was drunk. In case you are interested in seeing the raw drunken version it's over Here
I tapped my glass to call the meeting to order - actually, not so much a glass as it was a beer bottle, which was made out of glass, and therefore made the same tone, I suspect. Around the living room my muses gave up their individual conversations and turned their strangely resentful eyes in my direction.
"Ahem." I said leaning back comfortably into the couch. "I realize that things have been a bit slow around here, but the problem remains, I gotta produce a fic. Or I'll lose my credentials, you see, and they'll boot me from the internets."
"And this would be a bad thing…" murmured Ed from the loveseat, where he lay looking exhausted and underfed despite the fact that I had both been easy on him and explicitly gave him a meal in the last fic. Ok. Cookies. Cookies have calories. And carbohydrates. Probably some protein in there somewhere too. In the egg. Yeah. Anyway, it's a meal if I say so. >:EEEEE -- oh where was I?
"And that's exactly why we don't like being ficced," said Ed, reading my mind, which of course he could do, being a part of it. "Do you always have to have that attitude with us? You want someone to be nice to you, you gotta be nice to them."
This is sooooo not true. At least it's not true of Muses. To prove the point, I duct taped Ed's mouth so we could continue the meeting. Because obviously no one else was going to object to me. Ever. Right?
"Yes, Ma'am" came the chorus back, just a bit staggered, but generally in line.
Damn straight.
"Okay, folks," I said, moving back to the agenda. "I'm going to do what I've never let you do before. Pitch me some ideas. I'm going to let you decide what I'm going to write." I smiled indulgently at my assembled audience.
"You know," said Al in his slightly echoing, childish, yet still highly pornable, armored voice. "Isn't this the normal job of muses? We tell you what to write, rather than you telling us what to do and then beating us when we complain?"
Two feet of duct tape later the meeting continued.
"Greed," I called out, because he's my pet. Playing favorites is normal in the ficcing department, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And unlike most of my other muses, when it comes to sex, Greed is always enthusiastic to do his part. "Give me a story line. Porn please."
The thin homunculus leaned forward, legs slightly spread, his fingers laced together bridging the gap between his knees. A slow smile unzipped his mouth, and he glanced at me conspiratorially over his small wire rimmed sunglasses. "It should start something like this, I believe..."
~~~~~~~wavy lines of scene change ~~~~~~~~~~
Roy grunted around the thick rubber ball in his mouth. The dungeon was hellishly hot -- a wet steamy heat that made the air almost unbearably thick. His nostrils flared with every harsh breath and sweat dripped from his chin. As hard as he tried he could not free himself from the elaborate metal structure the homunculus had belted him to.
He snorted in a helpless regular fashion, his breathing controlled not so much by the heat, or the ball in his mouth, but by the rhythmic and inescapable penetration. Not the homunculus this time, but some machine he'd concocted, arranged to ream his well-used asshole with the tireless efficiency of a metronome.
Greed slowly drew a pattern across Roy's bare back with the clawed tip of his blackened hand. Then reached down to adjust the machine's pace. Roy grunted quicker.
"Do you love me," he whispered.
Roy nodded. He did. How could he not?
~~~~~~~~~~ wheee~~~~~~~~
"WHAT?" yelled Roy, glowering up at me from the floor. "That's utterly ridiculous. Completely OOC. And not even for me -- I don't think any man in that position would love someone who did that to them."
Greed blew gently across his fingernails. "What can I say, I'm the master of porn. Even you would swoon at me."
"That is utterly untrue," argued Roy. "Completely. Look, I'm heterosexual, and deep in Velvet's mind she knows that, that's why she always has me justifying why the hell I'm sleeping with the entire male cast of this universe. I'm not going to swoon for some guy who's strapped me to a goddamn FUCKING MACHINE!"
"Mmmm," I said. "You know Greed, that's an awfully tempting scenario, but I gotta go with Roy on this, I don't see him falling in love with you because you plow him oh so very well. Tell you what, why don't you work on the details for a bit and get back to me?"
Greed sighed and leaned back, casually draping his arms over the back of the stolen dining room chair. I could see he was somewhat disappointed, but I had faith that he'd eventually get over his sulk and put a bit more nuance into his scheme. He wasn't the kind to give up on something he liked.
I turned then to Roy. "Okay, care to give me your version? I gotta say, you've got stiff competition."
Roy pulled himself into a cross-legged position and began to speak:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fuhrer Mustang sat in his office admiring his new digs. The leather chair was quite comfy and the tapestries were very patriotic. Around him were several couches which could be put to good use. Would he be considered a cad if he had a woman waiting on each?
In any regard, the paperwork was done for the day, the war with Drachma was winding up. There was reason for celebration with each report his many generals sent across his desk. They were even considering erecting a monument to him in Central's largest park to commemorate his almost clairvoyant acumen. A war won with almost no casualties -- it was almost unheard of.
Women found the idea of such a savvy leader indescribably attractive, and so he was not surprised at all to see the large double doors to his office gliding open and Riza standing shyly on the threshold. Roy regarded her feminine curves, her large dewy eyes, the way her generous mounds of her breasts made the fabric of her shirt gape between the straining buttons. Of all the women of Amestris, she was the one he'd regretted not sleeping with the most.
"Hawkeye," said Roy gently. "This is unexpected. It's been almost three months since you quit the military. What has brought you back?"
Her eyes flash upward, meeting his for a second, before falling demurely to his rare imported Xingan rug. She turned around to close the doors behind her. Then looked over her shoulder as if seeking his approval.
"Roy," she said, her breasts heaving as if she had difficulty catching her breath. "I have realized that after all these years, I've been a fool."
"Never," Roy demurred, standing up and skirting his desk. The room seemed suddenly far too large.
"I have always wanted to wait until you were ready to pick just one woman to spend your life with. Then I planned to be that woman." Her eyes met his again, this time radiant with passion. "Now I realize I was merely denying my self the pleasures you could have given me."
Roy nodded. "I'm glad you changed your mind," Roy said. He closed with her and held her. Her clothes seemed to dissolve under his fingers and his hands cupped her breasts, feeling their weight and warmth fill the palms of his hands. He breathed against her ear and nuzzled her neck, drawing small bits of her skin up into his mouth and sucking them sweetly. He heard her gasp in excitement, and felt her wanton hands running up and down his powerful back and...
~~~~~~~~~~~ er ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Roy, Roy, Roy," I interrupted. "You've been my muse how long?"
"Almost two years."
"And what have you learned?"
"You don't really want me to answer that question," said Roy suddenly crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Roy. I don't do Royai."
"You can always start," he said. His eyes flashed defiantly at me. "Listen you've done just about every other pairing in the universe, why not Royai? She adores me. I ignore her. It's great. It's almost canon! What more could you want?" He raised his eyebrow at me in that condescending way that just demands duct tape.
I resisted. I really do love Roy, every nook and cranny of him. So much so that I want to share that appreciation with everyone else. Even his complaints were somehow pleasant to hear, so I waved Archer and his roll of duct tape away.
"What do I want? Well, more cocks," I said. "Specifically in you."
Ed started making muffled noises. It wasn't his usual screaming which I've learned to tune out. So, against my better judgment I removed the tape from his mouth. His eyes were firey -- I'd say molten but melting eyes is really Ambre's department and I don't want to trample on her territory. "My turn, you bitch. This time I get to tell you what you want."
"What I want," I replied, amused. "This was supposed to be about what you want."
Ed tsked. "You have no interest in writing what we want, but I can spin a story that you'll accept."
"I'm intrigued. Go for it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The apartment smelled delicious. Ed lifted his chin and closed his eyes and set about categorizing the various flavors of wonderful that were wafting about. That was steak, just a bit seared on the outside, but under the char was juicy, fresh meaty goodness, nearly red, and dripping with juice. That other smell, that would be garlic mashed potatoes, made with real butter. And there was the scent of apple pie, cooling in the window waiting for after the lull between satiating dinner, and the need for a bedtime snack.
Hei emerged from the kitchen a moment later, wearing nothing but an apron. His cheeks were flushed and healthy thanks to Edward's recent medical discoveries. Ed ran his eyes up and down his roommates form, admiring how strong and supple his muscles were, and how little the apron actually covered of his backside.
"Was work hard?" Heidrich asked, his voice quiet and respectful, yet with just a hint of eagerness that suggested that he would listen to every word Ed uttered with rapt attention.
Ed smiled. "Yes, but it was worth it. I've discovered a way of activating alchemy circles without the use of copious amounts of blood. Now there is nothing standing in the way of me inventing sustainable and clean steam powered vehicles. Soon smog will be a thing of the past and no one will ever have to suffer the way you have."
"Oh, Ed," gushed Heidrich, rushing forward and throwing his arms around the older man's neck. Ed grabbed his waist and pressed close. He seized Heidrich's mouth, and plied it with sucks and licks until the lips obediently parted in complete surrender. Heidrich moaned into Ed's kisses.
The sound drew all his blood down into his hardening length. Ed groaned and pressed, rubbing his cock into Heidrich's groin. His hand strayed down his partners back to his buttocks. Grabbing them firmly he pushed Heidrich even closer, driving his cock wantonly against Heidrich's groin until the friction of his own clothes began to chafe.
"But what about dinner?" gasped Heidrich, as he came up for air.
"I'll warm it up later," Ed growled into Heidrich's short blond hair. He pulled and Heidrich obediently followed, through the double doors of their elegant penthouse apartment and into the master bedroom. The four-poster dominated the room, its thick mattress, soft as clouds, and covered in warm down blankets. Nothing was too good for Heidrich. Now that Edward's discoveries had made them rich, he planned to lavish the young man with every luxury he'd always wanted but never been able to afford. The glowing appreciation on his face were all the reward Ed needed.
Well that and his ripe body, stretched across said bed. Heidrich flung himself into position eagerly, looking over his shoulder with large blue eyes filled with desire. He wiggled his pert buttocks enticingly. "I'm so horny," he murmured. "Please, I need you. Right. Now."
Ed's heart melted at the sight, even as his prick rose another notch towards the ceiling. It took only a moment to oil himself up. Heidrich's groaned out his need. The moment Ed climbed between his legs, Heidrich was already pressing back, impaling himself before Ed even had a chance to prepare him. Ed bit his lip as the twin sensations of Heidrich's heat around his cock and his pleasured whimper in his ear mixed.
He grabbed Heidrich's hips, and began thrusting, admiring the way Heidrich's back muscles flexed and twitch, and the way his roommate clutched the bedcovers in his fists. "More, Ed, More, I love you Ed," Heidrich called out between breaths.
Who was Ed to deny him --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ahem," I interrupted. "Yeah, well the sex is good, Ed. I'm not so sure about all the wish fulfillment you threw into the backstory. But that's not quite it…"
I pondered. "You know it's just missing something. I can't quite put my finger on it." I looked around the room at my muses for inspiration.
"Me raping Roy?" suggested Greed after the silence had stretched just a bit too long.
I snapped my fingers. "Yes! Thank you. It's missing the part where Roy gets raped."
"WHAT?" Roy cried out. "Now wait a minute -- how the heck would I get raped in a Ed/Heidrich fic? That's not even my world."
"World? That has never stopped me before Roy." I leaned back and considered my options. "There are a hundred ways to skirt a geographical problem."
Roy's mouth dropped. I noticed his arms were no longer crossed but had drifted lower to cup his privates.
"You know what, woman," Roy said after a moment. "I think you are entirely too obsessed with me getting raped. Look you've already done it to me at least a dozen times. Once you took two chapters to describe it in detail. You said it yourself you get bored if something is done to death."
Roy's eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. I could see the sweettalking side of him slip into gear, and his irresistible bedroom eyes convey the delights of his plan. "So, I have an idea -- how about WAFF instead. Me. A pretty girl. Consensually. I know you can do it."
"Hmmm... you know what? That does give me an idea..." I brought my beer up for a swig and then smiled...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heidrich tightened the straps holding Roy to the armature. The former Rocketeer's recent transformation from living man to homunculus had not robbed him of his engineering skills, and if he lacked some of his earlier empathy, he really didn't miss it. Pride swelled in him as he admired the simple structure that both bound the Colonel in an entirely helpless position and also rendered him marvelously accessible to whatever sexual mischief anyone cared to indulge in.
Heidrich heard the soft fall of bare feet approaching him from behind. He tensed before he recognized the gait, then turned and smiled his lover.
Edward didn't smile back. The Alchemist rarely did since their deal with the Gate: Heidrich's life, encased and immortal as the embodiment of Pride, for Edward's conscience. A good trade in Heidrich's view, but it did take a lot of the passion out of Edward's temperament.
Edward ignored to Heidrich. Preferring to stare at his former boss with cold golden eyes.
Roy noticed the gaze and turned as well as he could within the structure. "Please, Fullmetal -- Edward. I don't know why you are so angry at me, but whatever it is for, I apologize." Ed was right, pleading did give Roy's voice a certain alluring quality. "Please… help me."
Ed wrapped his arms around Heidrich's waist, bending his head to press his forehead against his lover's shoulder. Heidrich could feel the soft fall of Ed's loose hair against his skin and groaned. He turned to look down at Roy, who had taken the moment to try to squirm out of the armature. It wasn't going to do him any good, but the noise of the chains clanking about was rather distracting, so he gave the man's bare left buttock a good hard swat.
"Settle down," Heidrich said.
Edward let Heidrich go and walked over to Roy's face. He caressed the man's stubbly chin with long fingers. "You won't have to wait too much longer."
"Is he coming?" asked Hei, eagerly. He'd only met their master three times, but had been impressed each time with both his charm and innate manliness. Although the Master was just a homunculus, and not much older than Hei himself, the Earth born Sin still felt a deep respect for him.
"Any minute." Edward said. "We are to prepare his new Concubine, and make him ready and eager to consummate their union. You did a great job strapping him down, now let me take over."
At the word "concubine" Roy's eyes widened and his entire body jerked. Hei laughed. Was it possible that the Colonel didn't know why Emperor Ling had requested his presence specifically in the peace negotiations?
To Roy's obvious consternation, Edward took his time, relishing every step of his duty. He ran clever, well oiled human hands down Roy's flanks, sweeping under his bowed torso to kneed and molest his chest, then moving southward, over the rippled muscles of the mans tense belly to his groin. There he teased Roy's hardening sex with an almost malicious persistence. Poor Roy could do no more than whine and attempt to buck his hips as the armature prevented all but the smallest of movements.
Heidrich smiled. "I love to watch you work."
Finally Ed went for the kill, oiling the channel that soon would be breeched by Master himself. Heidrich stared in fascination as Roy twitched with every thrust of Ed's fingers.
Heidrich sighed. He would like to take Roy himself, right there and now. The look on Ed's face said that his partner wished to do the same, but the both knew better. In a few days their master would turn his eyes to his other concubines, and they would have free reign to do as they liked with this one. The armature could be reused then.
The door to the room opened up once more, taking all temptation away from the two. In walked the Emperor of Xing, draped in silk and jewels. His purple-slitted eyes took in the scene, and he smiled with indulgent pleasure.
"Ah, Roy," he said. "It is good to see that your country has ceded to my authority. You will be happy to know that your sacrifice will keep my armies at bay from its borders for a while."
"How -- how long," Roy grunted out. Even now the man was more concerned about the country he was protecting than his own future.
"Well," said Greedling. "I think for as long as you continue to amuse me."
Roy closed his eyes as the homunculus fondled his hair. Then Ling looked up at Heidrich and Ed. "You've done a good job. You may leave."
Heidrich breathed a sigh of disappointment, he would have liked to see Roy face as the Master fucked him - but there were far too many perks to this job to be too upset over one not offered. He bowed to the Emperor. Edward then took his arm and lead them out, to the sound of Roy's pleasured, tortured screams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roy gaped with the letters "W-T-F" clearly written all over his expression. "Pleasured, tortured screams? -- does that make sense to anyone?" He looked around the room at the assembled Muses to see if any of them shared his bewilderment.
Ed leaned over, "Don't bother," he whispered. "Look, she's being distracted by fandom_wank. She probably won't even write the fic."
Roy sighed with relief. "Thank goodness for her short attention span."
THE END!