desperation is the raw material of drastic change. only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.

watching the sun rise in the winter is pretty anticlimactic. it doesn't really rise, the darkness just starts dissapearing, the sky just turns a lighter shade of blue. i feel sick. i want to go back to sleep. ♥

why does valerian root smell so bad? overly sensitive olfactory HELL! let's just o.d. & move on from this world... sacrifice ourselves to dionysus? lo lo eleutherios. ♥

In the deserted park, silent & vast ( Read more... )

tired. so tired. so exhausted. want to sleep. cant sleep. have to work. don't want to work. don't want to care. sort of want to try. sort of don't want to try. want what's easy. don't want to take the easy way. at a loss. doing a good job of rationing, so far. we'll see. whiskey? ♥

talking all about the second & third, when i haven't understood the first ( Read more... )

feels a lot like fall. but it's not.
feels a lot like dopesickness. but it's not.
feels a lot like you. but it's not.

feels a lot like feeling. but it's not.

remember carving pumpkins out in the cold on lsd?
scan your drawings & send them to me to print, color, & send back to you so we can start your book.
same with music, if you want. cotton candy kitty fuck can handle long distance.

get fucked up, get fucked. that's the idea.

thinking of you, there's lightning bolts in my chest.